Maybe me but definately my bf..

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awesomeblossom
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Last seen: 11 years 6 months ago
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Joined: 04/28/2008 - 4:38am
Maybe me but definately my bf..

A A Well.. me and my boyfriend both play an online game; Maple Story. I used to play it a lot more than I do now, and I remember playing it all day long some days, but I don't do that anymore. I might have been a little addicted with it a year or so ago, but now I play it maybe 4-6 hours a week. So that's not so bad. Some weeks not at all. I don't have much a desire to anymore. It eats up all your real money if you let it (and I have let it before..I really regret wasting so much money on things that aren't even real).
A A But..my boyfriend. He started playing it a year or so before I started, and he still plays it now. It's gotten worse since he got laid off from work (not his fault). When he worked he'd only play it around an hour a day, if at all, and then play it a lot more when he was off work. But now he plays it all night. I don't know how much he plays while I'm at work, but I know he's playing. When I'm off work he stays on for hours. If I say anything to him about it, like that I want to spend some time with him, or ask him to go somewhere with me, he gets mad at me. He says that I 'never let him do anything,' like I'm a tyrant that never lets him do anything he wants to do, or he'll say he's only been on like an hour, when in reality it's been 5 or 6 hours. He also accuses me of not wanting him to play because I'm jealous. To be honest I am jealous! I have no reason NOT to be. He's had a 'girlfriend' in the game before, why wouldn't he again? He spends more time talking to those people in game than he does to me. He spends more time with them than he does with me. So of course I'm going to be jealous of the people who are getting my boyfriend's attention every night.
A A He gets mad that I want to spend time with him if he's playing.
A I'm not entirely sure if he's addicted or not though; he has cycles..where he'll play constantly for several months, then he'll not play much at all for a few months. Do addicts take that long of breaks? It seems so much like he's addicted when he's playing, but then when a break rolls around it's like he could care less about the game. That's why I'm not sure..
A A A A A A A A A A A A Here's to hoping the next break comes soon.....

J. DOe
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Last seen: 7 years 11 months ago
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Joined: 05/28/2007 - 5:23am
Re: Maybe me but definately my bf..

awesomeblossom, welcome to OLG-Anon.A I am sorry to hear that you were addicted once, even if only a bit, but I am glad that you seem to be over it now.

"awesomeblossom " wrote:

A I'm not entirely sure if he's addicted or not though; he has cycles..where he'll play constantly for several months, then he'll not play much at all for a few months. Do addicts take that long of breaks? It seems so much like he's addicted when he's playing, but then when a break rolls around it's like he could care less about the game. That's why I'm not sure..

I am not an expert but I believe that it is entirely possible for gaming addicts to go through periods of time, even months long, when they are not playing.A It is similar to the concept of binge drinking where somebody only drinks irresponsibly under certain conditions.A Many people (e.g., me) have underlying causes for their gaming addiction.A If those causes tend to come and go, then so may the game playing.A Another possibility is that even when he appears to care less about the game during those periods, he is actually trying to get over his addiction problem by not playing.A However, he relapses every few months for several months at a time before he gets control again.A There may be other possibilities but I cannot even reasonably guess what might be happening based on the information that you have provided so far. Although it is fairly different, note that I played somewhat excessively, perhaps even being a bit addicted myself, in the early 1990's.A However, when I became busy (I was starting a computer contract programming business), I did not play at all for about a decade until I started again about 6 years ago.A This time, though, I did have a significant addiction problem that I had a lot of trouble overcoming until I did certain things like get counselling help and join OLGA.A As such, it is possible to take a very long break in between.A Also, please be careful yourself since you say that you were a little addicted not that long ago.

"awesomeblossom " wrote:

It's gotten worse since he got laid off from work (not his fault). When he worked he'd only play it around an hour a day, if at all, and then play it a lot more when he was off work.

It seems that one of the causes of him playing so much may be something like anger, frustration, feeling inadequate, financial stress, etc., due to not having a job.A Since he only played up to an hour per day while working, it does not seem that he was addicted to it then.A As such, there is a fairly good chance that if he gets work again, he will go back to his old patterns, although there is no guarantee of that.A I hope that he is actively looking for other work now.A If not, then perhaps you can encourage and help him to do that. Unfortunately, it does not sound like he is yet willing to admit that he has a gaming problem.A However, I hope that he realizes it soon and then gets counselling or other help to determine why he is playing so much and what to do about it.A Regardless of what it takes, I wish you and him good luck in determining the causes and resolving his gaming problems.

- John O.

[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)

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