My boyfriend is a gaming addict, and in complete denial.

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kymphan
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My boyfriend is a gaming addict, and in complete denial.

Hi all,

I am a new member here, in a relationship with a gaming addict.

My boyfriend, Ben, and I have been together nearly five years. We are both young professionals in our twenties (he is 25, I am 27), live together and have two beautiful dogs.

My boyfriend grew up playing video games from a young age.. He's played it all: Console games, computer games, first-person shooters, MMO's, etc.

Ben is not a "full blown" addict.. yet. Gaming does not currently affect his work or finances, though it has certainly affected his work schedule in the past. He is self-employed though, and I am convinced that being self-employed affords him the convenience to game when he wants.

During the course of our relationship, my boyfriend has gone through several bouts or cycles of heavy to light gaming, with the occasional period of "sobriety". When we first got together, he had stopped gaming and was intensely focused on developing his business. He did mention his past with gaming, but since it wasn't a present issue at the time, I wasn't concerned.

He convinced me to play World of Warcraft with him about a year into our relationship, during which time I was absolutely addicted. We played together for about a year. After experiencing my social life completely disappear and not being able to stay alert at work anymore, I quit. It was an intensely fun activity, and gave me a glimpse into the world of a gaming addict.

Since then, my boyfriend has complained that we have no common hobbies, and suggests that we find a game to play again. Being against that, I propose we go for a walk, take the dogs out, cook together, etc., and he complains that those are things I want to do, and not what he wants to do - fine, totally valid. But when I ask him for suggestions outside of playing a game together, he can't come up with anything. It's clear that he equates gaming to the only way to have fun.

My boyfriend says he has to play in private and feels like he has to hide what he loves to do, and blames me for making him feel trapped. He usually waits for me to go to bed, and then plays. And even then, complains that I make him feel guilty for playing while I'm sleeping. He says that when his friends call or text asking him to play, that he is torn. If he doesn't play, then he spends his time with me wishing he was playing, and if he does play, he feels guilty the whole time. I feel like I'm constantly the bad guy.

My boyfriend has admitted that he has had a problem with gaming in the past but is convinced that he has control of it now, and that he can monitor his playing. He says he is finally in a place where only one or two games will satisfy him. As much as I want to believe that, I just can't. And then I get pegged as the pessimistic, crazy girlfriend who has no faith and doesn't believe in her boyfriend.

I have told him so many times how his gaming hurts me and upsets me. It feels like he doesn't care how I feel at all. And I get the same words from him every time - that I'm being crazy and controlling. I'm at a point where I don't know what to do any more. We have both discussed ending our relationship because I'm keeping him from doing something that makes him happy (his words), and I feel like I'm in a relationship by myself. I've given him the ultimatum ("it's gaming or me") before, and while he has chosen me in the past, resentment builds and he acts out through passive aggressive behaviors.. Ignoring me, doing things intentionally to upset me, etc. The truth is, the only thing keeping me with him right now is my two dogs, and the lease on our townhome.

Crimson Serenity
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kymphan wrote: Since then,
kymphan wrote:

Since then, my boyfriend has complained that we have no common hobbies, and suggests that we find a game to play again. Being against that, I propose we go for a walk, take the dogs out, cook together, etc., and he complains that those are things I want to do, and not what he wants to do - fine, totally valid. But when I ask him for suggestions outside of playing a game together, he can't come up with anything. It's clear that he equates gaming to the only way to have fun.

Holy moly does this sound familiar. My husband's words exactly. Welcome to OLGA (OLGA-Anon) and you're definitely in the right place.

*~*~*~*~*~* MMORPG free since April 7, 2011. *~*~*~*~*~*
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." ~William Shakespeare
The Wisdom of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."

fer
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Welcome to OLGA, kymph.

Welcome to OLGA, kymph. From your description, I'd say your bf is completely obsessed with gaming... Stick around, you'll find help here.

Healthy enthusiasms add to life, addictions take away from it.

broken trust
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wow! as I read this it was

wow! as I read this it was like I was looking in a mirror... this is my life. that is my husband... its really nice to read someone elses story when it is so close to your own!!!

Steele
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Yeah. That was me alright.

Yeah. That was me alright. It is not like I was lying or something, I really believed it too. How warped was my mind. Gaming sucked all interest into other activities away; outside gaming nothing seemed of interest.

Welcome to Olga, Kymph. The problem is not you!.

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

sadgirlfriend
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omg.... like reading my own

omg.... like reading my own situation. Uncanny to be reading this and feel reassured that it's not all in my head.

Let us know how things go!

LaurelS9
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Sadly, the addiction has us

Sadly, the addiction has us believing our own lies. I was the addict and my boyfriend was the anon in this case. I can remember telling him that the game was the only thing that made me feel happy, and I believed I would eventually get a grip on over-playing...I never did.

Boyfriend died, and the only way I could cope was to game more than ever. Now I don't want to game the rest of my life away. I have hope for a better future and for true life accomplishment.

I can't tell you to leave or to stay, but whatever you do, it's likely to be lonely.

goincrazy
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Kymph, you say he is not a

Kymph, you say he is not a "full blown" addict---yet. But everything he says (making you the "bad" guy) and all his behaviours scream "addict". The painful reality of gaming is that you can be a "full blown" addict, and still function at some level in real life, unlike a substance addiction. Please start putting yourself first, and don't believe what an addict says about you. If you look around this site, you will find many stories similar to yours. If he can't take resposibility for his own behaviour, it sounds like you will be better off on your own. You sound like a strong woman, and I'm sure you'll do just fine.

"But if I ran the zoo," / Said young Gerald McGrew, "I'd make a few changes. / That's just what I'd do..."
Dr. Seuss

MAGZ
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Like so many of the other

Like so many of the other responses here, these are the things, too, that my husband has told me. Unlike you, I did not know my husband was an addict before we got married. We had a long-distance 4-month dating relationship and it was only when we returned from our week-long honeymoon and experienced that first week of 16-18-hour-long WoW days/nights (my husband is a school teacher and spends the entire summer playing) that I truly began to understand what I had gotten myself into.

It is lonely--intensely lonely, so lonely that there have been times where I thought my heart would literally break in two. And no matter what you say or do, you are not going to change that other person. I have lost count of the number of doors I have slammed, the number of things I have thrown, the number of times I have cried myself to sleep, even the number of times I have had perfectly sane and logical conversations (where I become the bad guy, too).

One week ago, I spent some time with a good friend of mine, confessing my own sins so to speak and speaking with complete gut-level honesty about my husband's addiction and how it affects me. It felt so good to unburden and start paying attention to myself again. You see, I had realized that focusing on my husband had become a new addiction all its own--MY addiction. Regardless of anything else positive in my life, all I could see was his gaming and the tremendously negative emotional impact it had on me. The best thing I have done in the past week is to begin decisively taking back control of my own life. I do not want our 6-month-old daughter to grow up to be an addict of any kind, whether it's one of my obsessiveness or my husband's gaming.

The freedom I have felt since has been amazing! While I still threw the box with my husband's brand spanking new graphics card across the room when it arrived unexpectedly yesterday, it was so much easier to get over it and move on. So I have a gaming addict for a husband--so what?! That doesn't have to be MY life or my reality. I have developed new friendships of my own again, friends who regardless of what my husband is doing are available and dependable and are good FOR ME and FOR MY DAUGHTER. I have places to go, things to do, and projects to invest myself in emotionally. Do I still miss my husband? Absolutely! Am I still hurt and angry at times--no doubt! But for me, there is 'no way out'--I have absolutely no intentions of divorcing my husband, neither am I looking for anything else to take his place--so I have to find alternative ways to deal with the situation.

Would I have still married my husband if I had known beforehand about his addiction? I can almost certainly say that I would not have. As many other recovering addicts and those who have relationships with them can attest, it is nearly impossible to feel like you can trust someone who is not grounded in reality or able to be entirely truthful about their activities.

Anyway, even after saying all of this, all I really want to do is give you a hug, tell you not to give up hope, and keep coming to places like this for support--it is so easy to start thinking WE are the ones to blame, who are not thinking clearly, to believe the lies and excuses again. But I agree with the post before this--any addict who is not taking responsibility for his behavior, aware of it, and working to change is a full-blown addict no matter how many/few hours he thinks he is playing!!! And thanks for letting me share some of my story with you. =)

Left behind
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I have been dealing with

I have been dealing with EXACTLY this. I am the one who has a problem, I am the one who's negative, me me me! He feels so justified in all he does for WOW that my relationship really is non existent. I cry on a daily basis because this is not the guy I have known for 3 years, and I don't think I will ever get him back. Instead I stare at the back of a head every night wondering weather I even remember how to kiss.

scarlett
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This resonates so strongly

This resonates so strongly with me....and this:

It is lonely--intensely lonely, so lonely that there have been times where I thought my heart would literally break in two. And no matter what you say or do, you are not going to change that other person. - MAGZ

It's the loneliness that kills me. I estranged my family to be with this man and I love him dearly when I have him but that seems such a rare thing now. He even has to leave his phone at home if we plan to have an evening uninterrupted by game play.

orangeclover79
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Ok so...first official

Ok so...first official evidence of my existence on this site I suppose. YAY! LOL

Like many of you who have responded, this sounds eerily familiar to me. My bf and I have only been dating for about 7 months, and he was very honest with me in the beginning that he liked to game. I had no issues with it, but at that time, he was on a lull from playing. Now, for the time being, we're on opposite schedules with our jobs, and on the rare chance that I get a day off that he happens to share, he games for at least 80% of it. If I say anything at all to him....if I even look at him sideways when he goes into the office to play, he becomes defensive; not to the point of anger, but he thinks I'm angry because he's playing....as if acting on a guilty conscience. I'm not necessarily angry that he plays, as I realize that the career he has chosen can be very stressful, and this is just what he does to unwind or relieve tension, but I'm a little hurt because I feel absolutely 100% uninteresting and unattractive - that he has no interest in spending time with me. I've listened to him talk to his friends on skype while he plays, and sometimes it's the first time I'll hear him laugh in 24 hours. Frustrating....yes. Do I still love him?? Absolutely.

About 2 months into our relationship, he introduced me to WoW...and so naturally, I play now....not even close to the same extent he plays, but I do enjoy playing once in a while. I can completely see how it can become a lifestyle. It's a great escape....but even with the "system" he has when he plays, I just don't understand wanting to do that every waking minute you're not at work. He doesn't want to go out...ever...even to shop....most everything he owns has been purchased online. I have tried several times to get him to go meet friends of mine, but there is always an excuse. When he does go out, he acts put upon....thus leaving me feeling incredibly guilty. SIGH!!! He truly is a wonderful man....very responsible in every other aspect of his life....even has an immaculate credit score....but I just wonder if he has the ability to interact with people face-to-face anymore. He swears to me that there is no issue between us and that he is still happy....and to his defense, I am incessant in my quest to find out if he truly is....and I've been known to beat a dead horse in that regard. Our communication actually isn't bad at all though, which is shocking. Well.....now that I've written a novel, I will sit and anxiously await any questions, comments, concerns, and most of all, advice. I have absolutely no intention of leaving him, I just want to learn how to function knowing that this is just his thing.

MAGZ
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orangeclover79: I just want

orangeclover79:

I just want to say that it is great to see you here and posting! Way to take that first step! I've only been here for a short time myself, but I can tell you that reading the stories and experiences of others has been invaluable in my own journey with my husband's addiction. It reminds me that my husband's lifestyle really isn't normal or healthy, because I am often tempted to slip back into wanting to justify his behavior for him. I want him to be that invincible knight in shining armor even with his character flaws, and sometimes this means I want to defend him from less 'honorable' things--even to my own detriment. But this hasn't been good for me, for him, and certainly not for our relationship. Beyond this, I want to take a moment to comment on a few things you shared--and thank you for being so honest about where you are in your own journey right now! I hope that something here resonates with you as well. If I exceed my boundaries in offering advice and being direct, I apologize in advance.

First of all, your bf has a problem; he is a gaming addict. To quote myself from above, "any addict who is not taking responsibility for his behavior, aware of it, and working to change is a full-blown addict no matter how many/few hours he thinks he is playing!!!" Even though there may be some legitimacy in your assertion that "this is just what he does to unwind or relieve tension," his gaming doesn't seem to stop there and is affecting all other ares of his life, whether he realizes it or not. This doesn't make your bf evil or a terrible person, it just means that he has some things in his own life that he needs to work through. And these may not be things that you are able to help him with.

It is not your job to fix your bf or help him 'manage' his addiction. Goodness knows, I have tried to do just this with my husband for most of the last year and a half. It really only made things worse between us. I truly understand where you come from when you say, "I am incessant in my quest to find out if he truly is" happy. But the more I pushed, the more he shut down and shut me out--the more he gamed! I don't know how addicts get to the point of being able to admit their addiction and start seeing reality more clearly, but until my husband reaches this point there is NOTHING I can say or do that is going to change his mind. This is something I have currently come to accept--but it is oh, so very hard and a constant struggle!!! I absolutely HATE admitting my own powerlessness in the situation!!!

You need to take care of YOU. The fact that you are registered here on this site is wonderful and I think indicative that at some level you understand this!!! I have read through a number of the materials here about gaming addiction and found them extremely helpful. The thing I am reminded of most often is that addicts do not think rationally about their addictions. I have found it helpful when struggling with my husband's addiction to not think of him as my husband, but rather simply as an addict. And as I was also reminded by a recovering addict from my church, addicts use and manipulate anyone and anything around them to support and continue their addictions. Without really knowing what they are doing, they play on our own fears and insecurities--again, it totally resonates when you say that you "feel absolutely 100% uninteresting and unattractive" and that his behavior during public outings leaves you "feeling incredibly guilty." I have lost count of the number of times I have felt--and still feel this way! But it is NOT TRUE!!!

What you are thinking and feeling is absolutely NORMAL; in this respect, there is nothing wrong with you. If your bf cannot see and focus his attention on you, it isn't because you aren't beautiful, valuable, or even because you're not important to him. It's because HIS vision has been clouded by addiction and he can't see reality clearly--and that reality includes you. I think it was actually stated in the original posting in this thread that gaming addiction made that person spacey and disconnected from the 'real' world.

Personally, I have also found the steps of grief listed on this site helpful. I have been extremely hard on myself throughout the whole process of coming to terms with my husband's addiction. But recognizing myself as going through a multi-layered process of grieving with many different stages and reactions has helped give me some perspective and grace for myself in the situation. I remind myself daily that even if there are ways that I have pushed my husband toward his addiction, I AM NOT TO BLAME FOR HIS ADDICTION.

I have also been encouraged to get some outside help and perspective. My husband's addiction is an emotional battlefield for me, always bringing me back to my own sense of loneliness and abandonment. When my husband 'leaves' me for gaming, it is not just him--it is my dad, my brother, my ex-boyfriend, and every other man in my past who has not been there or somehow played on or even abused my emotions. Just yesterday, I sought additional help from a woman at church whose husband has struggled with a variety of addictions for over 30 years now. I am looking forward to gaining some additional insight not only into my husband's addiction, but also into the ways that I am perhaps enabling his behavior and what it takes for me to be able to rise above and heal from my own emotional wounds. I know there are no easy answers and this isn't going to be a quick process, but for today I am willing to accept that.

And please, if there is anything here that strikes a chord or that you feel is way off base, don't hesitate to respond--either here or private message. I would love to continue this discussion with you!

MAGZ
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Just wanted to clarify the

Just wanted to clarify the location of something I referred to above as being the original thread here--it is not; it was a posting by boredhousewife677 under the subject "& What works for you?" Some great suggestions there--well worth the read!

MAGZ
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orangeclover79: Got your

orangeclover79: Got your message but couldn't reply (your current account settings don't allow you to receive private messages). Thanks for the encouragement!

FuturePA
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I am torn and if any of you

I am torn and if any of you have any helpful advice I would love it.

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we live together and he has been supporting me for about a year now so that I can be a full time student and graduate faster (which is wonderful of him, I mean I still pay for school and my car but he takes care of rent and food). I know he did this because he sees a future for us and so did I, I thought I would marry this man but now I'm not so sure about that. He is 100% addicted to video games. If I ask him if we can go do something like workout or go for a walk or visit my parents or go to the store, he will choose staying home unless he thinks i'll be very upset with him then he might come and not participate and be on his phone AT DINNER at my parents house. Or he'll go to the store with me and try to get home as fast as possible just to race back to his computer. I don't mind video games and sometimes I play with him and it's fun but it's not my whole life and I don't want it to be. I want to be a physicians assistant and actually i'm entertaining the idea of taking the MCAT's and applying to med school if I can get killer grades. Look, med school is hard and it will change me and I think that during that time it will only enable his addiction because I won't be there. When he was younger his mom did EVERYTHING around the house. Since he's lived with me I can't remember ever seeing him put a peice of clothing away, I manage the money we have, I drive us anywhere we go, I cook, I organize, I plan, the only thing he does is go to work play games and sleep. When I talk to him about it he agrees with me but he never changes. On his last review at work they said he was taking too many sick days. He says he wants to start his own business but I have a horrible feeling that the motive is so that he can play more games more often. This month I am away from home taking a summer class and crashing at my cousins during the week, I haven't really missed him as much as I did before and I think that's because I'm slowly but surely realizing our relationship isn't there when I'm home anyway. I know he loves me and I still love him or at least I love who he was. I don't really know what to do anymore, the next step is marriage from here or bust so any advice, really, I would love it.

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It sounds like a terrible

It sounds like a terrible situation.

I'm in no way an expert but I can talk from my own experience: I guess what got me to see that my gaming really was a problem was when something really bad happened as a result. I lost my career.

I realised that I'd been gaming to escape reality and that I didn't want to admit that I wasn't perfect. I wanted to help everyone else, but couldn't admit that I was struggling myself.

It sounds great that you've talked to him about it and as you've mentioned, he realises that its a problem. Thats the first step.

For me the best thing to do was to get to a meeting, or atleast to take a look at this site. It's important not to forget about yourself, medicine is tough. Olganon is here for you. There is also Al-Anon (for partners of addicts) and CoDA (Co-Dependants Anonomous, for people striving for healthy, balanced relationships)

I hope you can get all the help you both need, its worth it!

FuturePA
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Thank you! I want to give

Thank you! I want to give him the tools he needs to get better and that really would be the best case scenario. I'm afraid he won't take it as he hasn't before, he just can't help himself and when I push him he does lash out at me. I think even more I'm afraid that ultimately I may have to cut it off and that would break my heart. Thank you so much for your advice. I really don't want him to loose his career, he's good at it and he likes it.

pepperz
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Hi all. It's nice to know

Hi all. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I have been feeling guilty and like "the bad guy" because of my anger towards my boyfriend. A couple of days ago I had yet another serious talk with him about my feelings about his gaming. I told him I didn't think we should be engaged anymore. That I didn't think we were working toward anything, and that I don't want to be dealing with his gaming for the rest of my life. The talk seemed to end with him seeming more aware and saying he wanted to change. He even asked if i would help him. I have said many times, that it would help if he had a shedule, perhaps if he played every other day, then I would know for sure there would be days where I could count on him being available. Part of the reason his gaming bothers me so much, aside form how it afects our relationship, is how much it hurts hime physically to be playing. He has back promblems, neck problmes and stomache problems, and the excessive sitting is the cause of so much of it. But the next day, after our last serious talk he was back to gaming. I am so sick of feeling disappointed. I feel like it's groundhogs day. I feel so hurt that even breaking off our engagement isn't enough to make him want to agree to address the issue. Anyway, I got really angry, and I hate that. It makes me feel like a monster. And then he gets angry back. This morning he didn't even want to speak to me. I guess I am at a poit where I feel like I either need to accept his lifestyle and choices, or leave.

Caspar
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My boyfriend is obsessed if

My boyfriend is obsessed if not addicted to gaming. His social life is playing games online with "friends". Due to time zone difference he will continuously game into the night until 6.30am the next morning. Not only do we hardly ever have a full night together but everything is game orientated.

Lets watch a film.... video game based

YouTube.... video game based

Comedians,,,,, geeks about videogames

Belts, bags and t-shirt.... superhero and fantasy style.

When we went on holiday he bought his laptop along with him and spent the evenings playing or the afternoon when nobody was with him.

When we went to do a house viewing he only spent 1.05hrs on the train and bought his laptop with him to play games. Moreover when he isn't on his laptop or Xbox he is on his phone.

He complains he doesn't always have enough money for food yet a small majority is spent on video game subscriptions every month, games...etc. I don't mean a couple of video game subscriptions I mean 4 or 5 if not more.

He also got a free game on his phone which he is constantly on and has spent well over $100 on addons and extra gold coins or whatever they call them.

Not to get too personnel but even while he is already undressed for sex and I'm about to get undressed he will take the small moment as an opportunity to play games on his phone.

He denies his addiction and the two most common phrases are "I'm not addicted, an addict would miss work and miss out on loads of things" or "I only do it a bit if you actually think about it" . The way I see it is addiction, someone who is addicted to smoking can have a social life, go to work...etc.

Finally... he claims he does have a social life and that he has met great people eventhough it's through the screen.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ?!?!? Do you think I should dump him before it could badly effect the relationship or get any worse. At times I do believe I deserve better than someone who in my opinion is wasting their life away. It sounds harsh but I'd like to see him in a hospital bed with a terminal disease and see whether he's regret not going out to do more DIFFERENT things.

I like to see him happy but not addicted 24/7

By the way I am somehow always the bad guy and I'm told that because I don't accept it I'm immature and arrogant because I don't listen.

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Hi Caspar Your story is very

Hi Caspar

Your story is very similiar to my own and I can feel the fear, overwhelm and confusion you are experiencing. I have only joined recently after getting to my wits end with it all. My partner is the same as yours, I'm not sure if he is ruthlessly selfish or actually addicted but either way his behaviour is affecting our life together. He uses all of the same arguments your partner does - that he's 'functioning' ie holds down a job and interacts with the wider world some of the time, and that gaming is social ie with real people etc. I know that my partner thinks, plans and prioritises his gaming over pretty much everything else but he would, of course, deny this if confronted and say that this is MY problem! I'm always the bad guy too, controlling, over-emotional and a fun spoiler!

You are not immature or arrogant. And yes, like me, you do deserve better. However life isn't always as straight forward as that, and for most of us just leaving the relationship is not an option, at least right now. First of all you must start taking care of yourself. Read the sections on the site about co-dependency and start to learn about how you are enabling your boyfriend to game. This is key. Then you can begin, as I have been trying to do, to detach from him, not in the sense of leaving him, but mentally distancing yourself from the addict and the addiction. There are great practical tips on this site about how to do this. You can still love him but you must start to love and care for yourself again. It's incredibly hard to do, I won't lie. My partner, despite his addiction, is the love of my life.

Just remember, in the chaos, upset and frustration of it all the people here truely understand what you are are experiencing.

Good luck.

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Welcome to OLG-Anon

Welcome to OLG-Anon Caspar

What you describe about your boyfriend is so true for many people who use this forum. If he is addicted, he will not be able to moderate his gaming and may need to give up completely to get a life, but he will have to find his own motivation to do that. Addicts cannot be helped or expected to change because their brains are affected and it distorts their behaviour. It takes a huge wake-up call for them to see how much the problem has become. At the end of the day, all you can control is you and only you can look after you.

Hang around here and read as much as you can. You will see how your experience compares with others and can pick up some great wisdom. The sticky posts in the blue area at the top of the spouses forum are a great way to start.

This recent thread on about responding to gamers who are upset that spouses do no "understand" may help. There are many others too.

http://olganon.org/?q=node/45360

All the best xx

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Meena
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Last seen: 5 years 5 months ago
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Joined: 06/05/2014 - 7:03pm
Alanon based programs are

Alanon based programs are very helpful. They give suggestions to help you deal with the addiction.

Try and focus on you and what you want out of life. Turn it over to your Higher Power, if you have one, and do not enable him. Don't hang around while he plays games, don't cook for him, don't help him have the easy life while playing. Take care of yourself and forge meaningful relationships with people who matter to you. I'm not saying cheat. That is never the answer.

My husband plays Tues & Thursday nights and all day on Sunday until 9:30 p.m. It sucks. He is building and nuturing these on-screen characters but neglecting his real relationships. It will and has already taken a toll in the marriage--at least on my side it has.

You are not alone. I feel your pain and anguish as many people here are suffering with a spouse/sig. other who are gamers.

Keep connect to this site and to people who understand what you are going through.

-Meena

K_K
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Last seen: 5 years 3 months ago
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Joined: 08/09/2014 - 9:25pm
I'm brand new here, my

I'm brand new here, my husband and I have been together 8 years and it's just over the last few weeks I've had to fully face the fact he is and probably always will be a gamer addict. Reading this thread really drives home the reality I am facing. So many things resonate, so many things my husband has said and done that I now realize is classic addict. We have three very young children together, I don't want to leave but his addiction affects us all every day. Not ready to really share my story yet, but hoping to find guidance and strength as I figure out what to do to get my life back and stop living in the shattered hopes that I'll have the real him him back soon and this gaming nightmare will become a thing of the past.

mins
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Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
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Joined: 12/15/2016 - 12:49pm
thank so much for every

thank so much for every single experience you've shared! made me feel more calm :) However , I couldn't find any advice/solution ! 

what should we do NOW? I erally want to help out my loved one to overcome this ... 

mins

Polga
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Last seen: 21 hours 53 min ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Mins

Welcome Mins

We cannot fix them. They must really want to recover themselves to make it work. This site holds years of experience. Spouses have found this out the hard way. Use their experience and advice as you will. But some people need to find it out for themselves first hand. All the best to you.

If you want to learn about addiction and supporting an addict; check out the links on this thread below

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/supporting-and-understanding-addict

The first link it refers to is this thread below; read ALL  the replies. It explains the issues from different perspectives of the addict and the spouses.

I want to help my husband : http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others-open-forum/i-want-help-my-husband

Then keep coming back to read the other blue sticky posts on both spouse forums, and then other member stories. Then you may have an idea of what we are all up against. And then look after yourself

 

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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