I am meeting with a counselor to deal with and better understand what my husband goes through with the addiction. I found the counselor through the Professionals tab on this website. I almost starting crying on the phone, as the counselor described that the game can be as addicitive as alcohol or cocaine and its all about the drug of choice (as far as the brain chemicals, etc.) I felt such relief that FOR ONCE a professional is taking the problem seriously and truly UNDERSTANDS what I have had to live with over the last 4 -5 years.
If nothing else, I feel like I will gain knowledge and understand how the addiction affects him. I think it will be a step in the direction of being less angry, as I understand that it isnt personal against me and my daughter, but out of his control. Also, I think this will give me the opportunity to work on my own personal issues and self improvement, etc. It is going to take such bravery and courage if I finally decide to move on without him. I will need support and a Professional to remind me and validate what I have been in denial about myself, for far too long.
My husband claims that he has set up a counseling appointment for himself to see a specialist, but he won't tell who it is. . . so I am wondering if he will simply see a regular counselor. Either way, I am fairly certain that he will lie and say he plays the game a few hours here and there. Last night he tried to tell me that he doesn't raid anymore and is in bed by 10:30 every night. The truth is that he is lucky to be in bed by 1:30, after playing for 4-6 hours every night during the weeek and double on the weekends.
I had a dream the other night that he sold his characters and used the money to take me on a vacation!!! It was lovely, but then I woke up and realized that it was a dream. I have been fairly depressed all day and have been snapping at my daughter.