should I pay him back

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daputtykat
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Joined: 01/13/2006 - 2:33pm
should I pay him back

My husband is addicted to gaming, when ever I say anything about the time he spend's on the computer he gets very mad and we argue, he says he could be in a bar or running around on me, he says at least he,s at home, which is true, however before we got the computer we would spend alot of time together. we have split up once and almost again several weeks ago, he bought me a internet game for Christmas and is trying to get me hooked so I will leave him alone, he calls it his family and talks about them in our life like their a part of us. there is several girls that play and he talks with them during the game, he has team speak. I don't like sitting in the other room alone while he playing games with other women, I know it is( or I think it is good people ,I can hear everything he says when I'm home, But I have caught him in so many lies I can hardly trust him,( lies about spending money lots of it on computer parts, time he spent on the game, saying he doesn't talk to the girls unless he has too).If I say something like that is not your family, He'll say yes it is,there is alot more stuff involved,I love Him very much, What should I do. I thought about gaming myself and stop cooking and doing for him and let him look at the back of my head, Is this a good idea. maybe if I ignore him he will feel as neglected as I do, What do you think on this idea.

Edited by: daputtykat at: 1/13/06 18:16

Diggo McDiggity
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Joined: 07/04/2002 - 9:43am
Re: should I pay him back

I think if you are strong enough, that would be a good idea.
Your story is probably the most common one. Husband/boyfriend playing all the time getting mad because he is being 'interrupted" and giving that stupid excuse, "At least I'm no out running around." Nope, he's sitting on his ass running around, there is no difference. His attempt to get you stuck on a game is not for your benefit, it's for his to keep you from bothering him.

I say that you don't bother him - Let him cook his own meals, do his own laundry and you should go out with friends and spend time with friends.

As a gamer who used to act like that, I know how much it hurt my wife and others and so now, I have no patience when I hear others doing it.

I don't believe that you should start gaming just to please him. It will backfire and you may end up wasting your life and your time as well if you get hooked on whatever it is you are playing. And before long, he will be jealous when you meet someone 'special' online which is extremely likely considering how your husband is ignoring you.

The online community he thinks is 'family' will forget about him within a couple weeks if he was to stop gaming - They are only online friends...NOT family members.

Gah... I hate to hear this story.

Ron

"Get a Life!"
Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
OLGA Admin and Member since 2001
eMail: ronjaffe@cfl.rr.com

Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002

Xandtar
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Joined: 04/09/2003 - 7:42am
Re: should I pay him back

I agree 100%.

Pay him back by not letting him stop you from reaching for your dreams. Go out, have fun, stop enabling his addiction, and take care of yourself. He'll either head for rock bottom, or snap out of it, and if he was headed for rock bottom anyway, you're better off not slowing his fall, you'll just get crushed along the way...

Good luck to you.

Leveling in Real Life

MustBeCrazy
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Joined: 03/06/2006 - 6:02am
Re: should I pay him back

Please do not abandon or ignore this guy. I know it is very frustrating for you, but he probably doesn't even realize he's addicted. People who make excuses are in denial, and if you ignore him he will just spiral deeper into his addiction.

Sit him down and tell him how this is making you feel. Tell him how sad you are, at how things have become. Let him know that you will be willing to help him, but he has to make the first step. Let him know it's not a joke, but don't threaten him.

It is going to be hard for both of you, but it can be done. Don't let up, even if he becomes angry. If at all possible tell him about this forum!! We'll talk to him! It's very hard to face your true self in a mirror, and we are that mirror. We are the various stages of what he has, and will become.

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