This morning we talked about the gaming issue without once saying the words gaming or WoW. Thats how beaten into the ground the issue has become. Its the skeleton in our closet (marriage).
He said that I have been on silent protest for the past month and he didn't understand why. It took me 5 years to realize that fighting is futile when one is dealing with an addiction. The fighting that we did over the game only fueled his playing- as it give him an excuse to play more- his righteous retaliation despite me!
Now that I have been silent and without any affection, he is acknowledging that there is something wrong. I told him gently but firmly that I love him but will not live with his "lifestyle" choice forever. I also said that I would be willing to get personal counseling (after he said that our problems are not just due to him). I said he also has to be willing to talk with a counselor and we can invest in a different hobby for him. I told him twice that I love him and care for him very much and will accept him for his choices, as he is a grown man. However, I will not keep living this way. He stayed quiet and listened and then as he left said in a defensive tone "I heard what you said".
I know what happens next, he will come up with one of his many tried-but-failed compromises to play the game less. It works for about a week and then back to the same. (five years and five counselors)
I think the conversation was more for my own personal process. I want to feel like I was loving and supportive to the end, even if its these small conversations in between my silent protest. What breaks my heart the most is that my 4 year old daughter is in her daddy phase. She cries when he leaves for work and it breaks my heart that she may have to endure a separation of her parents one day. Maybe I should live in silent protest until she can understand why her Mommy gave up and moved on. . .but how long can I live like this?