i have been with my husband for about 14 years, married for 5. We have two children, a 6 year old girl and 11 month old boy.
my husband has always gamed, I knew when we started dating and when we moved in with each other. It was all fine until we had a child. For my daughters life, most of he’s spent playing games on the computer (he’s addicted to computer itself, so games on it, watching videos, looking up stuff) i have gone to bed alone. He’s come in for sex and then leaves.
He has never watched her do an Easter egg hunt, he’s never up for those special moments in her life. Christmas too, he’d be up much later and miss he finding her toys. We have breakfast by ourselves and I feel like a single parent.
ive told him this, I feel lonely and feeling disconnected. I can’t get over thinking about the past and how many times I’ve come home with my daughter at noon or 1pm from being out and he’d just be getting up. I told him I wouldn’t be responsible to wake him up, I’m not his mother. He knows he has a family but it has felt the computer and sleeping has been more priority. He does do laundry and cleans up the dishes but he wakes up and says morning and goes to computer, goes to work (at home right now and yes computer as he’s a computer programmer) he comes downstairs (working in our room right now with a laptop) he comes downstairs and goes on his gaming computer for lunch, then goes back. Comes back after end of his work day and you guessed it...goes on computer till dinner, dinner he eats with us but we are often waiting for him to finish something. Dinner ends and he’s on it again till whenever.
so we have kids like I said, notice how I did not mention much interaction with them from him: he says hello and says love you or hugs them but doesn’t play with them.
i left him in January to my moms for a week as I had enough of it. It’s mostly up by myself all the time while he sleeps and I’ve gotten sick of it. I have accepted the behaviour for so long that I make excuses or I say it’s okay it’s just games he’s a good provider, he does care about me (so he says) but I don’t think I should be only listing good provider. How can I be emotionally connected to someone who doesn’t even come to bed on time?
he tries...we saw a counsellor in January and he made the effort to come to bed same time as me but as the quarantine happend and maybe a little before (it’s hard for me to remember as he’s just always been this way) he’s slipped back into old habits.
i bathe the kids
i feed them
i play with them
i do everything and he just games and goes on the computer most of time. I want to separate because I think my mind is starting to check out.
i told him I don’t want Luke (our boy) to experience what our daughter has...I also don’t want him to see this as normal that moms are up and dad sleeps.
glad to have found this site, I think it will be helpful to make my decision.
i have no faith in him and if he did change, I don’t know:.we talked about it last night and I don’t feel any different. He never apologized and I know that he knows he’s done wrong but won’t man up and say it. Waits till I get mad about it.