Boyfriend addicted to gaming Long Distance Relationship

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Flouringflowers
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Joined: 07/20/2020 - 4:41am
Boyfriend addicted to gaming Long Distance Relationship

Recently, my boyfriend and I began a long distance relationship due to his work. Let me backtrack a little. During the beginning of our relationship, it seemed like he was providing me with enough time and effort to want to hang out and do things with me.

As months progressed, I noticed how much he played games. I was fine with it because it wasn't really affecting our relationship. Towards the beginning of 2020, I noticed that he played a lot more and it felt like he was making less of an effort to do other activities with me.

When Coronavirus put a pause to everything, he didn't have to go into work. He was still getting paid, but he wasn't working. So he stopped working out, he stopped cooking, he stopped all of his adulting and started playing more games.

He says that he only plays because his friends play and he wants to play with them. But to be honest, I used to play a LOT of games too. So I started playing again with him and got addicted to one for a month or so. He plays a lot more though. He plays constantly and well into the night. I lived with him for about a month and a half while he was playing and I felt so frustrated. 

Now we'll be in a long distance relationship and since I used to play with him, I have discord. I KNOW this is unhealthy of me, but I constantly check up on him to see if he's on discord or if he's playing a game through steam. He has expressed recently that he resents that and he doesn't want to marry someone who will control and monitor his life. I expressed to him that I wasn't like this before and I just think his gaming addiction has gotten so bad that it's made me feel like I can't function well. I have anxiety and depression and I just feel so lied to when he tells me he's going to go to sleep, but I see him playing games all throughout the night. It bothers me that I feel kind of betrayed? Honestly I don't know how to handle this anymore. I just need help. I am trying to go to therapy but my therapist is literally never available...

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Flouringflowers

Welcome Flouringflowers

You are not alone.

If he is addicted there is nothing you can do to control his addiction. All you can do is live your best life and decide what is importnat for you.

This addiction hijacks their brain and their personality changes.

Please click the link for spouses in my signature below so you can learn from the expereince of other spouses who have gone before.

You need to take care of yourself.

Nagging him will not help; maybe you can get some ideas from the communication thread, but there may come a time when standing back will be the thing to do.

So sorry that things are so difficult because of this addiction. Take care and keep coming back.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts advice here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

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