I've been reading through this forum for a few weeks and read the detachment post, as well as many people referencing it. I definitely see the point of detaching for your own sanity, but it kind of sounds like it's kicking the problem down the road and not dealing with the issue? What's the end game? I've been starting to do it this week, and have been feeling like, if I'm detached and going through life alone while trapped in this marriage, why not just rip the bandaid and separate? What's the point of staying at this point?
My husband and I started dating when we were 15, so we've never known anything else besides eachother, and now that we're 25 and finishing school/getting careers established, we're supposed to be trying for kids in the next year or two. That's been the plan for years, and now that we're so close, the whole idea of having kids with him makes me feel so trapped and alone. And I want kids so so badly.
I almost left about 6 months ago (shocker, he didn't even realize I was gone for almost an entire day), and got a hotel room to get some space, and the only reason I decided to come back was because he agreed to limit the games to 2 hours/day on weekdays, and 4 hours/day on weekends. He can't set his own limits, so that I thought that having an external limit would help him be conscious of how much he plays, as he tends to "snowball"-- 4 hours one day, 5 the next, then soon it's easily over 8 hours a day (I stopped nagging at him for 2 weeks to see if he would self-regulate like he said he could, but no surprise that didn't work-- he started coming home at 5pm, and got straight on the computer until 3am, going in to work late, and causing all sorts of issues).
I thought that 18 hours/week was a plenty generous compromise, but he completely ignores it. Whenever I pop my head in his office (usually an hour past his limit, to see if he'll stop by himself), he just yells and shuts me down, with "shut up", "I'm an adult", "go away", etc. And even on days when I stand my ground despite the b****ing, he pouts for the rest of the night, so what's the point?
He's always gamed a lot, but I sometimes wish that he'd shown how out of control he was sooner, so I could've had a chance to strike out on my own and be happy with someone else who doesn't treat me like I'm a nagging parent whose only purpose is to take time away from his computer and make him miserable. Except I'm so introverted that I feel like if I leave, I'll never find someone else, and just actually be alone forever, which is the only thing holding me back.