This is my first post. I need to vent so badly. Im in tears again!
Im engaged to be married next month but everything is just getting worse and worse. We have a 1.5 year old daughter whom i do most of the childcare for despite working more hours than he does, leaving earlier & getting home later. Every day after work he says "he just needs quiet time" as th excuse to play which lasts hours sometimes. Sometimes he cooks when I come home late whoch becomes a guilt trip when anything gaming related is mentioned. When I complain about not being able to relax after work too, he Says said that I can just lay by him and relax too (he lays in bed playing). But when I do that (because I too would also love to flop in bed when i get home) our daughter walks over to the bed crying and wanting attnetion and to be held. (Like almost within the minute. If i put her on the bed (so I can also relax and stay on it too,) she tries to sit on him, grab his xbox controller, etc and he gets irritated. So i end up just going to our living room and playing w her, feed her etc. So hes in his retreat undisturbed while I am basically doing everything because my daughter pretty much comes to me if Im home and it doesnt occur to him to come out and be with us so he can spend time with us and also to share the responsibility. He says i can also do whatver i want and "take a break" but not when i have a toddler who is cranky, wanted to play and be held. She will literally not let me read a book or do what I want (bake something, write a letter undisturbed). He got a new game recently... Fall out and its been insanely worse, he plays later, and seems irritated when i talk to him. I dont know whats going on in the game but it seems like he needs to listen to what the characters are actually saying and he appears irritated when I ask him something/talk to him. When I used toasked him to do something months past he used to come by pretty quickly. Now "in a minute" has been 20 mins, 2 hours and never. He has told me that if i was happy with him, he wouldnt to want to play so much but I am just unhappy because I am horribly tired from work daily and somehow his tiredness and all feelings are always more valid than mine. His tiredness gets him a break and mine gets me nothing. I cant believe that this is my life. I was so in love with him but once we moved in together it all changed. i had no idea he was like this!! I would also like to add that he has a 4 yr old son whom we have every weekend and whom i love insanely and on saturday when we are both off, its me doing the majority of the parenting. I make cookies w him, read to him, take him to the playground, I am potty training him. Thats my baby! I love him but I feel unappreciated. The most he does when we pick him up from his bio moms house is we go eat and to the playground or library and then hes exhausted.... Back home and Back to the game on the bed and both kids come to me for everything. He works Sundays and so on sunday its me with BOTH kids, I try my hardest to be a good role model to the both of them. I love both kids!!I really ****ed up! Only one month and everything is ready to go for the wedding but i am unhappy th majority of the time.