Gaming addiction ruining marriage.

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justinenovak30
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Gaming addiction ruining marriage.

My husband has recently become addicted to the game war and order. I am so confused and lost right now. My husband has never before shown much interest in video games at all. About six months ago he had some difficulty at work and alot of down time and he started playing war and order. Six months later and it is all he does. He just got out of the military and all he does is game. He stays up all half the night and wakes up early in the morning to check his game. He sits on it all day. If i say anything about it he gets mad and verbally abusive. He has never been very physical against me but now he is shoving and threatning me all the time and tonight he jumped on me and pulled my hair. He gets especially bad if he gets attacked in the game and has big losses. Sure enough after he fell asleep I checked one of his five accounts and he had been attacked multiple times and lost alot about an hour before he lost it on me. I try to stay away from him when he's being attacked on the game, if I know about it, because if he loses he always takes it out on me in some way. I try to not nag him about the game and detach myself but this all happened so fast and out of nowhere that my thoughts are reeling. I am so lost and confused and now he is starting to take it out on our daughter sometimes. Not like he does with me, but little things here and there and he has no interest in spending much time with her. It has only been six months and I keep thinking it hasn't been too long maybe I can make him see what he is doing but he doesn't care. He even admits to being addicted but doesn't want to stop playing. I do not know what to do, all I know is that I am so scared. My life went from one thing to another before I even knew it was happening.

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Justine

Welcome Justine

Thanks for sharing your story. Your story shares many similarities to the other spouses who come here.

I am concerned that he is starting to act more physical towards you. I think you need to have a plan B about where you can go to stay if you fear for your safety. Seriously think about leaving him because physical abuse should not be tolerated.

Is it possible he could be suffering form PTSD ? You can search the site using that in the box at the bottom of the page.

It sounds like you are treading on eggshells around him. You are 'adjusting' to his behaviour in a way that may become unhealthy for you. You cannot cure him, but you can get strong and start to see the way you are losing yourself in the situation as it is so overwhelming. Look after you and your child as priority number one.

You are in a new situation as he is adjusting to being out of the military so you are on new ground, and now this addiction has taken over. I think you need a lot of support around you from your family and friends. Don't keep this hidden.

You need to look after yourself, maybe get some counselling about what you want to do.

Some gamers and addicts get very defensive about the game when they are confronted. Sometimes it can help to talk about how his actions affect you and the children( the threats, being mean to kids etc) ...what he does to you as a result of gaming. But many spouses say it it is hard to reach the gamer and the gamer turns it back on to them saying its the spouse who has a problem and not them.

Keep coming back to the spouses forums; there are two of them. Read all the sticky posts. Read the advice and stories of others. They will help you understand more and you can make your plan.

This situation can only get better if you make some changes soon, or are prepared to wait for possibly many years of treading on eggshells until maybe one day he wakes up. You cannot make him change, he needs to realise that he has to himself. If he is addicted, then he cannot think in a normal way because of the way the dopamine has reprogrammed his brain.

Keep coming back to learn more

Stay safe.

INFO

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