I dont know if I'm in the right place all i know is I am hurting and each day I feel like I'm falling more out of love with my husband. Maybe I'm imaganining things but he seems to have no interest in me anymore... he has three CoC accounts and CoC and youtube is all he really does in his spare time other than sleep and attend church one morning per week.
I feel so alone even when I'm in the same room with him and we are sitting side by side that I've started sitting in the bedroom to avoid him and the smile he has when looking at his screen and having some wity text conversation- that seems to be the only time he smiles. Half the time he doesn't even hear me speak if he's looking at his screen and if he does he looks up at me with a look of impatience or exasperation because I'm interupting something... It hurts and sometimes it angers me too. But I dont say anything because the one time Ivtried tslking to himabout his game he got unusually mad and defensive. When our teenager comes to play us a song on guitar or to sit and talk to us about his life, my husband doesnt put his phone down and engage him he just carries on staring at the stupid screen. I cant tell you how upsetting I find this and how much I am begining to resent my husband and this stupid game. I'm jealous of people i dont know because he engages them talks to & laughs with them. I actually feel...almost every day like leaving him without so much as a goodbye. Im sick of feeling sad and crying in secret because of my feelings of loneliness....and I feel myself withdrawing from my marriage and wishing for some kind of out. At least he doesnt spend money on it anymore not that he needs to his empire is so vast and there isnt money to spend anymore on anything anyway. I feel like he uses CoC to escape his sh**ty living on the poverty line life and make him feel better about himself.. but then he used to play it when we had plenty of money too.
I am depressed and overwhelmed. Our teenage son is a gamer/internet/screen addict too and he suffers with depression and anxiety we suspect he has Aspergers (high functioning).
Now after writing all of this I'm sitting here second guessing myself..Maybe Hubby's addiction isnt as bad as I think it is? Maybe I'm just overwhelmed and sad because my son is struggling to cope with life and with us being permanebtly broke everything has just gotten on top of me? But I often feel like they'd both be so much happier without me in the equation suggesting they spend less time on devices gaming and internet or interupting them in any way.
No idea what to do or how to improve the situation.
I know hubby has started to pick up on my withdrawal, he has be unusually attentive over the past week trying to make conversation asking me questions. Noticing Ive left the rooom and trotting down to the bedroom to sit beside me while he stares at his screen. Wish i knew how to change things so that he was happier and didnt need to find his self worth online