I believe my boyfriend is addicted to video games..

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CGTZTT1914
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I believe my boyfriend is addicted to video games..

Been with my boyfriend for 3 years, one year living together and he's always been a gamer. I used to game as well but I have school and work and kind of just grew out of it. He got a new PC around January and it's slowly gotten worse. Now, he doesn't even hang out with me anymore. I have to ask to see if we can hang out and he says yes or no. Sometimes, we'll have a date planned but on the day of he'll say he doesn't feel well and spend the entire day on his computer.

We don't sleep together anymore either. And if he goes out with his friends he'll come home say a quick hello and go straight to his computer. He rarely goes out with his friends anymore and blames it on me that his friends aren't calling or texting him anymore. Sure in the beginning of when we moved in together I wanted to hang out and do new things all the time, but I don't mind if he goes out with them anymore. It's been over a month since he has gone anywhere with me! I love him dearly but I can't do this much longer. He gets angry whenever I bring all this up and I honestly don't know how to talk to him without getting angry myself. How can I speak to him about this without us both getting upset? 

CGT

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
If he is an addict, then the

If he is an addict, then the only way for you to not upset him him is to not criticise his gaming, talk about neutral subjects, not talk to him when he wants to game, He will be happy to talk to you if you are 'enabling' him to carry on with his addiction. Enabling is doing anything that makes him feel comfortable gaming  and and helping to do anything for him he should be able to do himself. It's not possible to have a 'healthy relationship' with an addict so you need to decide whether you want to have a 'friendship' with an addict or alternatively do anything to help him face his addiction which will mean he may not want to be friendly with you or you may have to give up on  him to help him realise that his behaviour has consequences and you do not want to have a life with someone who does not want to contribute to a real relationship..

If you read the posts linked in my signature below you will start to understand what is possible. I suggest you read about enabling and also how to communicate with the addict. There is info about interventions in the commuinication thread.

I would suggest you even consider getting his parents. relatives and friends together to stage some kind of intervention if you think it might help wake him up. The more you read on this site the more it will help you to make the right choices for him, but more importantly for YOU. You deserve a caring boyfriend. Look after yourself. .

 

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

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