My husband and I are a blended family. He has 2 children from a previous marriage and I have 1 from a previous relationship. We have been together for 5 years. I did not realize how big of a problem he had when we were first dating. He would only play his video games on Friday nights.
Well flash forward a year or two and it became an every day thing, on top of playing some games on his phone. I ended up moving out of his house in January 2017 for about 7 months, for a few reasons, but the gaming issue being one of them. His gaming got to the point where he was staying up til 3am and having the volume so loud I could hear the noise from upstairs in our bedroom. We had 3 kids in the house and they didn't need to be hearing this. We went to counselling and worked things out and bought a house together in September of 2017. Things were going great. We got married and started to build our life together with a new outlook on our relationship. A few months into 2018 he bought a gaming computer costing nearly $2000. He was also spending between $300-$500 a month on live streaming subscriptions and gems for his phone games. I'm a full time student and work part time and he pays for a majority of the bills so I didn't say anything.
Now here we are, the kids are noticing his problem. They are 13, 12, and almost 10. They make comments like "I thought dad wasn't going to play games after heroes died out", "why does he play so much?", "do you think my dad will play a board game with me tonight?". He has now been yelling through his headset saying very vulgar things to people. Our oldest asked once "How loud does the TV go? I don't think we should be hearing dad say that stuff." The 12 year old has a special needs issue, no physical ailments, but more emotional and information processing issues. He has lately been saying inappropriate things while playing on the xbox or on his phone. I have been talking to him about it. But it hasn't stopped so I have told my husband he needs to start watching for it.
I don't want a divorce, but I want him to start being a dad and a husband again. What do I do? He has said he doesn't have an addiction and can stop any time he wants, the problem is..he doesn't want to stop. I've asked for him to play after the kids go to bed, or to at least keep the noise down while they are awake, That lasts for a day but then goes back to how it was the next day.
There are some days he doesn't play, but I know he is itching to get on. Whether he plays or not he is aggitated and angry. I want to help him but I don't know how to. Maybe I will just start doing what makes me happy and that may motivate him to want to better himself.