I'm leaving (for who knows how long)

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MonsterNa
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Joined: 06/18/2016 - 11:11pm
I'm leaving (for who knows how long)

I've made the decision to go home, without a word.

my husband is military and we live across the US from my hometown, and I've decided that I've done all I can and he doesn't take me serious, so I'm going home to where I'm loved and supported.

my heart feels so heavy, and I haven't stopped crying, but I think this is my last option.

 

weve been married 3 1/2 years, and it's always been this way. I've done all I could from rationalizing his "hobby" to bargainin and compromising, but I am not happy.

we lived in Europe for 3 years (my dream come true) and he never wanted to travel, he tells everyone who's asks that it sucked, because the Internet was too slow.

im pregnant, and I'm terrified of having this baby, because I'm terrified of my baby not having a daddy present, because he games.

he used every small act of kindness as an excuse as to why he deserves the game. 

I don't like sex anymore, and I am just not seeing a happy or adult relationship here. He doesn't tak to me because he doesn't want to waste time arguing, he only talks about games and his idea of spending time together is playing games.

ive read a couple of books this past week just starving for guidance, and I'm at my rope's end. So I'm going home to be with my family, and I'm hoping he will ultimately choose me in the end.

but for now, I can't sleep and I can't stop crying, and the man cuddled in bed next to me makes it so much harder to go, because I love him so, and I know beyond the addiction he loves me to.

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome to Olg-anon !

Welcome to Olg-anon !

Thanks for sharing your story and the sorry for the sadness you are feeling. You need to be where you will be supported, change can be a scary thing and not easy to do but I think you are making the choice for the right reasons.

Many spouses in your position do leave. There is often a period of negotiation where the addict spouse misses the other person and makes all kinds of promises that they will do better etc. but it is very hard for an addict to live up to promises unless they are well on the road to recovery.

There is a thread that talks about this situation occuring here:

http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others-open-forum/back-my-life

I would encourage you to keep coming back here to learn about this disease so you can be better prepared on how to deal with your situation. Every situation is different, but other spouses experiences will help you.

All the best.

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Serenity9272008
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Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
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Joined: 10/05/2012 - 10:10am
you sound like me

I have been married  for  4 years  my husband has  been gameing for  7 years as long as i have known him. slowly  over the las 2 years i have made more and more  trips to  go back home staying for  month or so at a time  just to escape my  reality  of  how  my husband is   neglecting our realtionship and  marriage  ths trip to my family is the ultimite  choice  if im staying or going and it is a alot of emotions. iv just finally met my breaking point the endless  he is going to change  he will  but then nothing ever changes. he puts his xbox friends before me and his marriage im all for him having  hobbies  and being his own man but when that  hobby takes away the man i met  and  fell in love with thats  not ok .

seeking_hope
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Last seen: 3 years 2 months ago
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Joined: 07/14/2016 - 11:15pm
Wow - I can't believe how

Wow - I can't believe how much of what you are saying sounds like it could be coming from me. I am also pregnant and very alone - nearing my wits end and praying for a miracle. I love my husband so much but I hate how much he hurts me. I am glad to have found this website where at least people understand what I am going through. I hope that this helps enough to make it tolerable. I have 3 small children and one more due in 3 months - the thought of being alone is terrifying. But then I realize maybe I already am.....

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