This is silly. My husband will soon turn 50 and I think he has a problem with computer games. He has always been into computers and has never been a very sociable person (we have been together for 25 years). For the last 20 years or so he has not really had a job. He was very committed to politics, but got fed up with the fact that not everybody was playing fair (what can I say?). So he spends a lot of time at home. He has some engagements still, and gets paid a very small sum. We are really living off the money I make. I work full time and have done so during all our time together apart from when we had our two children. My wage is ok, my work is fun but demanding and sometimes means long hours. I would be able to live with the fact that my husband is a stay-at-home husband, if that is what he was. But everything that needs doing in the house - and on the outside, too - takes forever to be done or does not get done at all. He does what he feels like and leaves the rest. I know computer games play a huge part in this, for he is never without his tablet and he plays while he is supposed to do things and of course it takes forever to finish something. I have cried, I have tried to talk calmly, I have shouted. It always ends with him crying and me feeling guilty. He does enough to not raise to much suspicion. I think he thinks that if he does some things I will not notice the rest. But he is at home most of every day and should be able to do a lot more, to do his share. I can´t do all of these things at home because I have to work, and want to work. If I did not work I would go insane. He has no friends, he rarely takes initiatives to do things as a family or a couple. He can talk about it, but then nothing happens. When we go on holiday I start the planning and then maybe he helps with it. I feel desperately lonely sometimes and I wonder if something is wrong with me. Am I over-reacting? Our children are happy and I know that he loves them and me. So why do I feel the way I do? I feel inadequate and I feel like smashing his tablet to pieces because it is like a mistress that he knows I know about and he still won´t stop seeing her. How can he do this to us? And I feel selfish for thinking like I do. I feel on edge all the time, keeping track of where he is in the house and wondering if he is gaming when he is in the bathroom. How do I stop doing that? How do I detatch without leaving? How do I make life less comfortable for him, as I have read I should do? I do not want to leave.
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