LINE chats worse than the gaming

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Confused spouse
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LINE chats worse than the gaming

Hi, all,

I'll start by giving some history.  My husband and I have been together for 22 years and approaching our 15 wedding anniversary.  We have 2 kids.  He has always been a gamer.  Three years ago, he found SWFC Star Wars force collection.  The game has battles that in order to advance, you MUST attend.  And, since its worldwide, two of the game times occurred after midnight.  The battles were 2 weeks a month.  He was working 14-15 hour days, leaving at 3:30 in the morning.  He was sleep deprived and depressed because he's stuck in a low paying, very physical job.  He easily became addicted to this game.  Started spending hundreds of dollars a month, would read his chats while driving, didn't think about or care that I worried about him making it to work, but yet he set an alarm to do his battles at 1,2, 3 in the morning.  I work full time.   I made a lot of comments about it but wasn't talking to him about it. The worst part became the non stop chatting on the LINE app.  I had seen some of the pics shared in this chat group and while I didn't mind the celebrity half naked pics, it went overboard.  Guys posting pics of their wives/gfs.  My final straw was when I told him I wanted to know about his "secret" boys club and he handed his phone to me.  He had recently posted a picture of me (that was meant for him only) saying, look what Karen just sent me.  This is why I dont chat as much anymore.  I flipped out.  I'm not a prude but I felt so deceived and disrespected.  Bottom line, we went out and had a long talk. I told him I need you to quit playing that game and being disrespectful behind my back, because I'm losing my feelings for us/you.  I was and still am doing most of the house/yard stuff,oh and kid stuff. All of it.  He miraculously quit that game but replaced it with two more.  He's still in his chat group but he's not chatting nearly as much. But, im not good with the chat either and I know he's made real friends.  Their group was called Bros before Hos!  Now, it's fabulous 5 plus one. The "one" is a gamer chick that they invited to the room. I told him he has to be transparent if he's going to continue. He think it's fine that they're all married guys, she's single and they talk about sex, taking trips together, etc.  I think, one, their wives don't know about this chick and two, it's still disrespectful that these "friends" talk to my husband and say things such as, come back! Don't let the "p" control you.  Am I in the wrong here?  Oh, and he told me to read it last night, except most of his comments were deleted!

He's otherwise very affectionate loving husband and Dad.  He says he chose me over them bc he quit playing the game. I disagree because if I didn't say anything, he'd chat 24-7 with them.  Why doesn't he see it?  Thanks for reading..

AlwaysInsecure

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
He does it because it is a

He does it because it is a lot of fun and is giving him a dopamine" hit" which can be quite addicting. He feels like this is a real relationship with these guys and the computer medium is creating a strong, but fake, bond with them because of the way be are hardwired to make attachments. You have strong competition for his attention !

I don't know that you could call this addiction, but it is certainly a problem in your relationship if you are feeling undermined and neglected and you might want to consider marriage counselling together or by yourself, to explore what is important to you in a relationship, what is going on now and what your boundaries are in your relationship.

Listen to your feelings, don't ignore them.

INFO

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Confused spouse
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Last seen: 2 years 5 months ago
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Joined: 11/30/2016 - 3:34pm
Thanks so much for the

Thanks so much for the comment 

AlwaysInsecure

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