Hi, I think i'm in the same boat as many of the people here...and in a way that's comforting, I hope I can learn techniques and tips for my husband.
He and i have been married for nearly 4 years. We have a 13 month old son. He used to play World of Warcraft back when we were dating, while he was studying...and it got bad. We were an online, long distance relationship, we only saw each other in person twice a year as it was a 9+hour flight between us. When he was addicted the first time, he was standing me up because he was engrossed in the game and lost track of time.
And, I'm ashamed to admit, after a year of it, I got tired of it and I gave up on him, especially as another guy was flirting with me, online, not a healthy relationship as he knew i was dating, but at least he was attracted to me. So i cheated on my then boyfriend because i'd given up on him. Try not to think too harshly of me...it was cheap of me to cheat, but he forgot me constantly, and then after a while i'd tell him that i was breaking up with him, then when he'd read the email a few hours later, would come back begging and promising he'd change...and within days be back to his old behavior of dating the game more than me. Then eventually he found out about my cheating...and i was open to him, i gave the conversations to him, we talked more than we had done in months. We'd both hurt each other, but he trusted me, he knew why i'd done it...when he looked at the logs and realized how often i'd gone to chat with this other guy because i'd been stood up...he was ashamed of himself, and he pushed himself away from world of warcraft. We've had some good years without that wretched game interfering. I would never have cheated on him again.
But now here i am, married to him, and he's studying again, we've got a baby together who needs us as a unit, and now he spends most of the day in the basement on his computer, playing world of warcraft, is even a beta tester for their next expansion, that's how much he plays. For many weekends he was creeping off on Friday and Saturday evenings and playing until 3am so i'd just fall asleep alone. I hate it. I tell him so. Then he tries to come to bed, but instead he's on his phone, playing the WoW app for the auction house or whatever, i hear it pinging and see its color out of the corner of my eye, and i feel sick.
Worse still, here, there's no one i can talk to. His dad gets mad whenever he hears of how his son is behaving, he knows i'm doing all the housework: the laundry, the cooking, the dishwasher, looking after the baby, the two cats. And he'll rant at ME and stress me out, but if it ever gets to Mike, i've not heard it, and if so i know Mike will just argue back at him. I feel trapped, and sad, and less important than a video game. Apparently he must find night elves or tauroses or whatever sexier and more enjoyable than his wife *sad laugh*