My husband and I have been married for a little less than a year. He never played video games while we were dating and hardly touched them for the first few months of our marriage. However, everything changed when the game Destiny came out about 6 months ago. He works 4 10s and would come home from work around 8pm, head straight to the Xbox, and play until 3am every night. On his days off, he plays all day long (sometimes from 10am to 4am the next day). He is so busy playing Destiny that he neglects any house work and leaves food and trash everywhere for me to either clean up or live in filth.
He has not come to bed with me in 6 months and says that 10 or 11pm is way too early and that I shouldn't expect him to lay there awake next to me. He thinks I am crazy for wanting him to come to bed with me on occasion.
After many arguments about how little time he spends with me, he agreed to only play after 10pm on the says that he works. He makes this seem like a huge sacrifice. He says it shouldn't bother me how late he plays if I'm sleeping anyway. So this means from 8-10pm he "spends time with me". In other words, he grabs the iPad and sits in the same room as me while he plays other games or looks at stuff online about Destiny. If I try to make conversation with him, I have to repeatedly ask if he is listening since he never looks up from the iPad. Once he is playing Destiny, he is on his headset and doesn't hear anything I say. He gets annoyed if I interrupt the game by making him take off the headset to talk to me for a moment.
i am now 3 months pregnant with our first child and am very concerned about this behavior continuing once the baby is born- essentially leaving me to be a single mom. Since I got pregnant, he will help out with some chores occasionally, but only if I nag him excessively- even then I often have to redo whatever he does because he does such a poor job. I am a full time grad student and also work part time to help make ends meet, so having to clean up after him while pregnant and working crazy hours is at times enraging.
He sees no problem with how often he plays or how much he neglects our marriage. I have asked for him to see a marriage counselor with me, but he just gets mad and rolls his eyes. I don't know what to do and I guess I am just looking for my feelings of frustration, sadness and anger to be validated. Outside of his gaming addiction, he is a beautiful and amazing person- but I seldom get to see that person anymore. I am tired of trying to talk about it with him as it always leads to a huge fight that goes nowhere. Any advice you all have would be much appreciated.