My Husband is Married to His Games

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hunnybunny19
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My Husband is Married to His Games

So, here is my story - My husband becomes so engaged in his online games that he will literally sit in one spot all day.  This has been going on for about 4 years.  This is the same repeated history - I say something, he makes a big deal that he is quitting whatever game he is currently playing - He finds another game.  Never any different.  Between that period of time, SOMETIMES there are a couple days that he will actually spend with me.  Sometimes...  Sometimes it is straight to another game.  I don't know if he does it to keep trying to upset me or what the deal is, but I am growing so tired of it that I feel like I am on the last leg of trying to have a marriage.  This isn't what I signed up for.  Quite the contrary because I have been here before and I made it a point to tell him upfront that I was not looking for another relationship like that.

I guess I already know the answer as to if it's going to work out.  Probably because it hasn't worked out before.  I become so tired of fighting for attention with a game that after a while, I just give it up.  I know in my own heart and mind that it's just not worth it.  So why am I always fighting with a computer game over my men?  I don't think it's something that I can change.  I've already tried the talking, fussing, crying...  I'm done with it.  It's not possible. 

He always has an excuse as to why he "needs" to play these games.  It's his escape.  It calms him.  Whatever.  It certainly doesn't calm me any.  I've even tried to play them with him.  You know, just to feel like I exist to him.  He always leaves me high and dry in whatever guild or whatever it's called.  It's certain to me that he does not want to play them with me.  This always hurts my feelings and I'm tired of that too.  I'm just so sick of his little fantasy lives that I'm seriously about done with it all.  I can be alone without having to watch someone choose to ignore me.  Especially to a game.  It's not too enjoyable at all.

So, why am I still here?  Because I love him and I want it to work, but the end is already so close within sight that it gives me chills and keeps me constantly feeling pretty down.  I cannot make him see the light.  I can't put the fear of God into him.  There is nothing that works.  Believe me, I have tried. 

I'm not sure what I expect a forum to fix.  It's just nice to know that I'm not alone in this.  I'm at my witts end.  No idea what to do, but start living life without him.

The thing that ticks me off the most is he claims he is spending time with me because I sit beside him on the couch while he's busy playing his game and talking to everyone BUT me.  In whose world exactly does that count as spending time with a person?  Not mine.  Eh, sorry for the long rant...  I'm a little ticked at the moment and so close to just throwing in the towel. 

Oh yeah, he also says that with each new game he starts I am not allowed to say anything because he hasn't done anything yet to cause it.  I know it's always going to be the same.  It always is, but you know, he says that's convicting him of a crime before he does it.  Only today counts, not yesterday...  LAME!

Did I mention how much I really hate games? :P

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Hunnybunny

Welcome Hunnybunny

Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone with this problem.

The general advice we give to all spouses is here

We recommend that to take care of you and have the most chance of helping the gamer to wake up that you "detach with love " and think of the many little ways you may be enabling him to continue and then stop doing them.

Get an awesome life for yourself; you don't have to leave him to do that. Keep coming back to learn more !

 

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