I'm actually really relieved that there's a website like this that has so many stories similar to mine. It makes me feel less alone. I've been with my husband for 15 years. He didn't game much when we first met, but now it's nonstop. He spends every waking second that he's not at work playing his MMORPG. First it was WoW, now I think it's something else (I don't even care what they're called anymore; I used to play video games when I was younger, but after this experience I despise them and never want to play them again). He works 8 hours, immediately gets on the game and doesn't go to bed until 3 or 4 AM. Over the years he phased out eating meals with me, going to bed the same time as me, and now he barely even talks to me. We've gone for 3 or 4 days straight without saying a word to each other, and I hate it. We maybe have sex once a month, and he's the only one who's apparently allowed to initiate it, not me, which infuriates me. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Things have lately gotten worse - last week I asked him if we could start taking turns doing dishes again (I've been doing the dishes myself the past couple of years; otherwise they'll just sit there for weeks), and he was furious and didn't talk to me for two days. I didn't yell at him; I just asked! Now that I'm reading all the other stories on here, I could kick myself for the way I've been enabling him. So I'm not doing his dishes anymore.
At first we joked about the fact that he games so much, but now I can see how out of control it's become. I've been justifying his behavior for too long; I always figured gaming was more innocent than drinking or drugs (my dad was a violent alcoholic and my mom was an enabler who was in complete denial), but now I can see it's just as bad in many ways. I feel like such an idiot.
I really, really don't want to get a divorce. I've watched so many of my friends go through painful divorces in the past few years that it breaks my heart (including my brother, who was absolutely destroyed when his wife left him for a married man). I want to make this work. I've tried doing activities on my own to ease my loneliness a little. Does anyone in a relationship like this have any advice on how to keep it going?