Hello. My name is Marrienne and I am married to an online gaming addict.
It is actually funny because we met in this game and fell in love, we have three beautiful children, one together,two from a previous marriage. He is a great dad to all three and a great guy except he mostly spends his time on his game, while I work, cook clean take care of the kids and all those little nuisances that make up life. At the moment and for the past decade he has been unemployed.
Don't get me wrong. I game too for a couple hrs here or there and I enjoy it. Lately I have been feeling so lonely. I see now that I am enabling him. He wakes up late in day after gaming all night and if I had a tail I would wag it.
His coffee is waiting for him I bring his meals to the computer etc. You all know the drill.
There used to be some balance where he would do just enough to stay out of trouble but lately we are in deep financial trouble to the point I can't keep the kids fed clothed and warm.. so I took extra work on Saturdays which means he has all 3 kids for about 7 hrs and he has been nothing but a pain about it.
I come home to death stares and sullen looks and of course need to take over. No time to eat even... kids need me.
The voice he used to use when talking to me he now uses over Teamspeak to the guild. He usually snaps at me. He used to always say I love you before hanging up the phone, now nothing.
I am posting only his flaws here I know and at first read he does sound like a dick. He loves us deeply and I know it... I can see it when he talks to the kids or he was won a roll and then he is all sweet to me... I just hatr that I busting my butt all day and I am not the one causing such happy feelings in him.
I talked to him and told him I know he won't change I know it is not my fault I don't want a divorce or anything but at the same time I am done enabling him. He can game his life away if that makes him happy but I won't help anymore.
I decided to make some changes. He got up and hugged me and held me a long time. I cried because, heck IT HURTS... but told him I am actually ok. This is who he is and it's ok. He doesn't have to change but I cannot live like that nor do I want our kids to have this as a role model.
I feel like I lost the love of my life. I miss him so much but gradually he changed and got more and more into his game and got further and further away from me...
I desperately want him back!!!!
But I know I am not the one to make him... only he can come back to me in his own volition.
It just hurts so much!!! I feel like my heart is being ripped out!!!
So... just wanted to connect with others who will understand.
Thanks for your time!! Any personal story or advice is welcome!!