New Here--Mom of 3 year old with one on the way--need help

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MamaLA
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New Here--Mom of 3 year old with one on the way--need help

I found this website online because I'm at my wits ends and don't know what else to do.  I have no doubt in my mind that my husband is a game addict.  He is now playing a new "free" game on his xbox 1 that he has already spent more than 200 dollars in  less than 3 days.  It is currently 230 am and once again I have woken to him still being in his office playing...I dont' think he's slept more than 3 hours this weekend here and there and I'm not exaggerating.  The only off times he's had off games is when we've done some family things but he spends the majority of that time checked out looking at his phone and reading about games.  This is not new territory for me (as in, I've been living with this for at least 3 years), but the compusliveness with the gaming ebbs and flows.  He recently switched companies because he was traverling all the time and now can work from home as he pleases.  He's an AV programmer so can have his computer on to work as needed while also playing in his office.  I literally want to throw his gaming out the window.  Anyways, I could go on and on butb basically just need some direction of what I should do.  

We have a 3 and a half year old old daughter and are expecting a boy in July.  I am losing sleep and resentful, our daughter is suffering because of lack of attention and anger on my end at him that comes out as frustration to her.  We have fought about this for years and he is not changing so I don't know what to do or how to get through to him.  Financially, he brings in the majority of the money, as I work parttime to be home with our daughter two days a week.  Please help, give me some direction :(

Andrew_Doan
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Joined: 06/13/2011 - 9:37am
Does he want help?

Unless he wants help, I am afraid there is not much you can do in regards to "changing him". 

You have to take care of yourself first and your children next.

Perhaps encourage your husband to come to OLGA, read posts, and even read my book with you? Send me your email, and I will send you a PDF copy of my book for your reference.

Andrew P. Doan, MPH, MD, PhD

My Gaming Addiction Videos on YouTube: YouTube.com/@DrAndrewDoan

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy, DHA or Department of Defense.

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Mama

Welcome Mama

I am sorry to hear about your situation. Thank you for sharing your story.

This letter here is a great place to start reading about what you can do. I would also encourage you to keep coming back to read other spouses stories. You will see that others have experienced the same behaviours and problems as yourself, but they have started on their own journey have some great experience to share with other spouses.

We cannot control the gamer in our lives but we can take a step back and consider what our own boundaries are in the relationship, we can stop enabling the gamer, we can detach from their gaming behaviour,  and take practical steps to lead a happier life by looking after our own needs and finding support elsewhere.

Keep coming back and please let us know how you get on. hugs xx

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

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