Hi everyone, a little background first. I met my partner just over 3 years ago and at first things were great. Fast forward to now and we are engaged )very recently, only happened in December) and we have lived together for 2 years out of our 3 years together and I am 25 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. In the past he has had alcohol issues, a recovering alcoholic, whose addiction got so bad, his work nearly sacked him at least 4 times. The last time he was diagnosed with depression and had counselling. Now, it seems that the addiction is minecraft. I get people need to relax, but he basically just works and plays minecraft. He gets home from work, naps for a few hours, then gets up and plays minecraft for at least 4 hrs, weekends its 16 to 20 hrs a day. I am 25 weeks pregnant with our baby boy and went through a period of depression and anxiety, basically I felt unsupported and lonely and still do. I tried to talk to him, explained I wasn't coping and that i needed his support. These nights, he would sit with me for an hr, then flit over to his game and then eventually come back, I asked for help with cleaning the oven trays as I just dont appear to be physically strong enough to properly scrub them anymore and he still hasn't cleaned them, and its been 6 weeks. I have tried to talk to him about his addiction with minecraft and he just tells me that its not as bad as drinking, and that maybe he should start hanging around bars and what else is there to do, sit there with me? Youch! So now I have a fear of trying to talk to him as I get such a negative and aggressive reaction.
I am the one who suggests going out and its only once a month that I feel brave enough to do it, and we will, but he will hop straight onto the game when we get home and play long into the night. If we do got out, he gets quite aggitated when he drives and if he's not playing minecraft he's outside smoking endless cigarettes looking up cheats and special items for minecraft. I also work, study and tend to do everything around the house, I have asked for help, but have beeen told "I don't do xhores during the week", even after I have basically broekn down in tears out of frustration and exhaustation. he has been home with the 'flu; for the past few days, taking time of work, where he won't rest/sleep, saying that he can't, but he plays minecraft now akk day. I get that he might be sick, but if he's well enough to play minecraft, I figure he's well enough for work.It seems now to be a special occaison for him to sit with me for longer than it takes him to eat dinner or to do anything together. Alst week, he did sit with me for 2 nights and cooked dinner and I thought we were making progress and I was so grateful and I told him how much it meant to me, leaving the videogame aspect out of it. But, now its back to minecraft..
I have started seeing a counsellor as I thought I had perintal depression, but the scoring system they use says I am not depressed, I am stressed! So, I am pregnant, new to a state where I basically know no one, I can't afford to move out on my own (rather sad at my age I know) and feel unsupported, unloved, unvalued and fed up. I am concerned that once our muchly anticipated miracle boy is here, i will basically be a single mum with a dad who just plays video games. He seems to be looking forward to it, but I feel really isolated. I am in tears alot of the time just because I feelignored, I don't think it should be this way! I am reaching out as I have no idea how to deal with this, and I need support from people who are in the same boat. Any advice and comfort would be greatly apprecaited and hugs to all, this is a very lonely space to be in..
Addiction regardless of what it is hurts family and loved ones. Through support and strength, we shall grow and survive.