Ready to just give up

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Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
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Joined: 03/14/2016 - 11:54pm
Ready to just give up

Married since 2013, I have 3 wonderful kids born (2010, 2013, 2015) I am due with baby 4 (1/9/17) My husband has gotta additcted to Guilds of War 2 and now it seems like the children and me mean nothign to him. He even ignores his own father and family. When they visit he will continue to sit on the computer game and not stop even to visit with his own family. I really don't think he has any friends besides the people in the game. He never wants to do anythign with us and doesn't like to cook or clean around the house or care for the kids. He screams at me and gets ****ed off if I ask for anythign besides sex. If I am askign for sex he will drop the game in a heart beat but if i want family time with him and the kids, or to go see his family, or find friends to hang out with, or just us time, or help around the house I get the 3rd degree from him. I need things fixed around the house, I need help with keeping it clean, need help teaching our young children words, colors, shapes, tieing their shoes and more...and now that he is addictied to this game I have no help. and Everyone around me keeps asking how I can put up with it, how do I deal with it and why am I still here with him...I Am startign to 2nd guess myself, I really don't know anymore. I don't want my kids growing up going back in forth between parents. And if were together at least I know they are gettign the attention they need and should get. If they are ever left with him my house is destroyed and even one day I came home to my 1 and 3 year old covered in PERMINIT MARKER head to toe!!!! He said he didn't know what was goign on they didn't make a sound. I about lost it right there. I stay because I worry about my kids, I leave to go shopping to get a break for an hour or so and I am texting him like every half hour because I am so worried. I Am to the point where I don't ever want to leave or go anywhere on my own in fear I am going to get a call that one of my children are in the hospital or worse because he couldn't take the time away from his game to pay attention to them. He even went as far as buying a gamers head set so he could talk to the people better because the kids and I were too loud and he couldn't hear the people he was playing with!!!! I think I really want to just up and leave him at this point but I don't want him to have anythign to do with our children till he gets help. Or make it so he has suppervised visits so again I know they are safe and gettign the attention they need. I mean our kids are 5,3,1 and I am PREGNANT!!!! seriously. He does have another kid with a different girl. His son just turned 8 this year (2016) and he ignores him too. His son has even told his mother that if it wasn't for my son who is 6 this year he would never come over. He told his mother that all daddy does is sit on the computer and does nothing else. No outside time no nothing!!!!!! She has screamed at him about this and texted him a thousand tmes about it. He doesn't care. He told his mother that I can be mean at times and yell at him for things but that when he stays the weekend that the only time he gets out of the house because I plan family events and make his father go. I tell my husband if he doesn't go then his son doesn't go ither! Not to be mean to his son but a slow harsh start to make him see what he is doing. BUt now that I have started doign that he has now introduced his 8 year old to the wonderful joys of XBOX. So he plots him right in front of it and buys him all these games just so he doesn't have to deal or take care of his own son when he is here and have time on Guilds of War 2. I am lost I don't know what to do anymore. I know I should leave but I can't I don't think it will help at all I need help I am loosing my mind and this baby will be here in the next few months. I have threatened not to even try callign him when I go into labor. He says if I don't we will get divorced and then goes back to his game. I means SERIOUSLY someone knock his ass out and wake him up!!!!!! I don't want my kids to think this is how a husband and wife with children and a house act. I don't want my girls growing up thiking that this is right. I want all my kids to stand up for them selves.

Mae14513 (the forgotten wife)

Polga's picture
Last seen: 1 day 8 hours ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Mae

Welcome Mae

You have so much to deal with and he is not supporting you. If you do not change something the situation can only get worse. You cannot change him; you can only change yourself.

Keep coming back here and learn how you can look after yourself. You need to get support form outside your relationship, you need to have a direction to work to. Keep coming back here . Learn how to detach with love and stop enabling him. Learn about codependancy. Make a plan so that you can leave if you want to. You do not have to follow through unless you want to, but you will feel stronger if you have options.

You are not alone. There is so much help on the spouse forums. Read the sticky posts first and keep coming back. Thanks for sharing your story.


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