really feeling alone :( i want my husband back

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Mummyto4
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Joined: 07/02/2017 - 6:01am
really feeling alone :( i want my husband back

i honestly couldnt find any option other than to join here and talk about this i feel so guilty even writing this it took alot for me to do this i love him dearly :(  i just feel so so alone i miss my husband i miss what we used to have now it seems his life is his online gamer life and his friends :( he works his work doesnt get affected he still goes to work he works 3 nights on 3 nights off. but the days hes off its xbox one the head set goes on and thats it im blocked out i plod about looking after our kids im running out of ways to keep myself thinking that this is ok that this will be ok. hes back in work tonight hes been off for 3 days hes been on it every single day morning until late night no lie. he stops for toilet breaks the odd time and if he does stop its to nap! he wakes up some mornings 4-5am and will go on it then . soemtimes he will sleep til 9am or just past it and give him his due he will take the baby down give her her bottle and breakfast but then i get up after then and its all me. he went for some shopping the other day but was right back to it again and he will go u wanna watch a movie together tonight il come off around 8pm... doesnt happen if it does its very rare and usually he falls asleep or i do due to waiting or being busy most of the day.  im lost i feel so empty and lost we have barely spoken in 3 days because im so fed up. 

the thing is he hasnt even asked whats wrong?

and i feel its because he knows il say its the xbox and he will pull that face like im controlling!

:( i want to cry so badly. hes now come off the game its 12.23pm and hes gone to bed ready to nap for work.

iv had alot on my head recently i lost my mum not long ago and you know what i feel COMPLETELY ALONE!

yesterday i sat with the kids in the garden all day while what should of been a lovely family day together he blew up the pools but thats it and set up the hose to fill them up. then we ordered tea in he sorted that out then i thougth yay hes going to sit down with us. nope he walked right back in to the living room back on to his xbox with his friends.

they joke about how one of their girlfriends said one had to come off . they will say oh coz ur mrs has said u have to come off hahahaha

and im sitting there like! yeah shes probably fed up like i am!

one of their girlfriends play it with them and i think its probbaly because she has no other option :(

were married and we have been together 10 years we met when we were teens.

now its back to 3 nights of him in work and me with our 3 kids. and then hes off for 9 days after tonight as he has put holidays in as im due to go on a tv shows this weekend im a singer.

but i dread it i bet it wil be 9 days of xbox! 

im about to blow up. how do i even  address this he will get defensive and probably wont take me serious

one day i said can u come off this and we can watch tv or do something

he sat there and u could tell he was in a right huff so in the end i was thinking please go back on it i couldnt cope with the awkwardness i actually thought he was better off on it he was happier.

all i ask for is to spend time woith my husband

i try to talk to him and have to repeat myself then he says why are u repeating yourself?

and god if i tried to talk to him and his character died or soemthing happend then he flips!!

he used to spend time with the kids more now i feel im a singel parent i may aswell be!

hes in the shower just heard the shower turn on then he will be in bed probably for work.

please i need some sort of advice! seriously

i cant suggest help for him he would never ever do it he doesnt even think hes addicted!

i have my father whos addicted to gambling right now and he rings me about 20 + times a day plus he lost my mum so hes so lost right now

my brothers addicted to alcohol due to losing my mum hed never drank it before my mums funeral

and my hubby is clearly addicted to video games

i play online bingo because what else do i have? the kids settle so i add £10 to online bingo lasts me about half an hour then im sat watching tv or tidying up waiting for him to come off. to be fair i go to bed with the kids now around 8 most of the time and sleep . thats my life now.

people may say well you play bingo! yes for what half an hour.... and the rest of my day is my kids , tidying , feeding them , bathing them ect. i wouldnty even play it i would much rather have my husband :(

im struggling please help i need some advice here.

i feel guilty even writing this about him :( took me alot to do this i love him dearly :(

 

 

May Light
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Last seen: 9 months 1 day ago
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Joined: 07/23/2013 - 4:02am
Welcome to OLGA mummyto4

I am sorry for your suffering. You said it, "he is addicted to gaming". When addiction sets in, the logic goes out of the window. Together with logic, empathy, compassion, planning, in short all the executive functioning of the brain goes out of window too... His gaming to him is the most important thing in life at the moment.. It is nothing to do with you so don't blame yourself. You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. 

His brain is very much messed up due to gaming addiction. The effect of gaming addiction to brain is the same as the effect of illegal drug addiction apparently. So don't expect him to be reasonable. Talking and trying to reason with him doesn't work. Action speaks louder..You have to look after yourself and your children. Unless he wants to change there is little you can do.

There are a lot of posts here from people who are experiencing the similar dilemna. There are also weekly chat meetings you can attend and share experiences. I suggest you spend some time at this website because there are very valuable information which you may benefit from.

Take care of yourself and please remember you are not alone! Hugs to you!

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia

Polga
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Last seen: 17 hours 55 min ago
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Mummyto4

Welcome Mummyto4

You are not alone. It sounds like you are learning you cannot control him. But there are things you can do; you can change yourself, because what you are doing right now is not working and something has got to change or it will stay the same. Keep coming back to read the forums. Follow the link on my signature below for "first aid" for you.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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