Resentmenr towards my gaming husband

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Misslys
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Last seen: 2 years 4 months ago
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Joined: 07/08/2017 - 6:38pm
Resentmenr towards my gaming husband

Hello

After reading a few posts it sounds like you're all too familiar with my story. As much as I hate that you're going through my pain, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm 25 and started dating my husband at age 18. We moved in together at 19 and soon after he proposed. Soon after that, he broke his shoulder which started it all. I never saw him play before we moved in together nor did he ever talk about it. He had a good job, was all about family, always wanted to do things and make memories with me. It's dead opposite now. He delivered dry wall and that wasn't gonna happen anymore after breaking his shoulder. He eventually got surgery to fix it and got another good job several months later. We were broke and even worse, he fell into the black hole of video games. He was depressed and then I became too. Our parents helped us financially and I felt obligated to stay because we were engaged and of course I loved him, mostly who he was when we started dating. Since then he's had trouble keeping jobs. He's lied to me about working several times over the years... very recently too, just a couple weeks ago. I've given him ultimatums before. He's gets ****ed and nasty and changes for a short time and then slowly falls back into gaming all night, every night and then sleeping all day. Last year we had a roommate and his best friend. His friend who plays too, but not as extreme would actually hang out with me and Jace conversations with me which was nice. Actually made me realize what I should be doing with my husband on the daily. My husband was ****ed and jealous, so jealous he actually quit gaming all together wanted to go on regular date nights and of course I was ecstatic and thought he had changed. Roommate moved out and he went right back to it. Even after finding out I was pregnant I though oh now he'll change for good... nope. Then I thought when the baby is born... nope. Then when the baby is 6 months and more interactive... nope. Our babe is 7.5 months and he still games all night, every night. He also hasn't had a job for like 4 months. He lost his last one due to a huge lie he told his boss aka my step dad. I told him I wasn't going to cover for him and he lied anyway....

I am so fed up. So much inside me tells me to leave. Things are more complicated now with a baby, but I can still hear my heart say leave... but I just don't wanna give up, but at the same time I've been through so ****ing much. Forgiven multiple times. I've tried, ultimatums, being laid back not b****ing or nagging at all, not caring, crying... the only thing that worked was him seeing his friend give me attention. ****es me off that's that is what it takes for him to want to spend time with me. Ugh. 

I'm still young. I don't want to wake up when I'm 50 and regret staying with him forever. I'm convinced it will never stop. 

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Thanks for sharing your story

Thanks for sharing your story.

Nothing will change unless you do.

Many other spouses have been through these cycles. It sounds like you are getting to point where enough is enough, those feelings will help you make the necessary changes you need for you. Ultimatums only work if they are clear and followed through

Click the link in my signature to find out ways that you understand and change your behaviours for the better.

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