scared retirement will be constant gaming for hubby

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NeedChange
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scared retirement will be constant gaming for hubby

Hello-I just joined today. As I read thru the advice, I realized I have been detaching for several months. I am trying to tell myself that I am living as a single person but deep down I am hoping that I will get my old husband back. Someone who engages in conversations and is a part of the world around  him instead of rushing back to his game in his downstairs man cave. I dont even know what to say to him anymore, his mind seems distant,

We have been married 27 years, this gaming started a couple years ago. He has withdrawn from soical outings, time with family and in general wants to decline any invites we have.  I have started going to things without him, I love girls night out and am fortunate to have a great circle of family and friends. I dont make excuses for him anymore, several people are losing respect for him, myself included.

We are retiring in 2020 and I was looking forward to travel and fun times together after years of high stress jobs for each of us. I have a fear it will be all about "Destiny" PS4 for him. I think of divorce but still catch a glimpse of the fun, passionate guy I married.

If I am out with friends/family I am laughing and having fun but as soon as I am alone with him (of course he is attached to his game prob 50 hrs a week) I am miserable unless I am in the mood for quiet time. I love having grandkids here so that I am not lonely.

I want supportive companionship..........

Thanks for letting me vent!                                    

NeedChange

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome NeedChange

Welcome NeedChange

I so feel for you. You sound like such a lovely person who deserves those things that you seek.

I am glad that you have so many positive things in your life despite this and that you are trying to mitigate the pain by learning to detach.

Have you had a heart to heart about the sadness of how you feel because he is absent so much? How did he respond?

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