So I chose after a long and hard two weeks of reading, praying and seeking counsel, to go back to my hometown. (My husband is military and stationed elswhere)
My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and finally, two weeks ago, I decided that enough is enough and became more independent and detached from how I would normally react, I told him "I'm not competing with your games anymore" and that was that. He seemed to be caring and understanding and for about 3 days he seemed to be on the right track. Until he regressed and tried to make me feel bad that I didn't appreciate his on day of no gaming entirely. So after another few days, I decided to go home, Especially because I am pregnant with our first child.
I packed up early in the morning and booked a flight for home, I left him a letter explaining my intolerance for the behavior anymore, how he's made me feel and that I cannot make him change, but if he wants me to come home he has to rid of the games for good and seek counseling.
since I've left I have not responded to any of his texts, those that have been so filled with denial and blame.
He thinks I've gone completely "bananas" and that i should have stayed and talked about my feelings and gave him a warning before I do something so irrational, I've wasted HIS money and he just doesn't understand why i would do something so unfair.
He believes he's been more than fair to me from the last two weeks by not playing for an ENTIRE day just to be with me.
Two weeks ago I decided to be more independent and to stop doing things for him, stop talking about my feelings, and engaging with him as I usually would do. He believes I haven't been considerate of his feelings because I never asked him to get off his game and therefore made him feel unwanted.
after many texts of blame he sent a hate message to my mother, convinced that she is to blame and that she bullied me and selfishly just wants me home so she has be and the grand baby around (totally untrue)
He's messaged a mutual friend in complete shock about why I am so irrational and trying to control his life.
and just about an hour ago he's messaged
"please just come home, I miss you, please talk to me, I'll do whatever it takes."
and I still just don't think it's time to reply, it's been 24hours and I just don't know what to say or do. Or when is the right time to say anything because he is in such a state of denial, trying any means of manipulation to get things back to the way they were (me feeling bad and apologizing for being overdramatic)
But I still find myself missing him, sleeping next to him, being in my own home. My heart feels so heavy and I'm accepting my grievance of this separation, but I just don't know what to do now.
I want this all to be over now, i want him to recognize his addiction and be willing to get help, but I know he's still convinced I'm trying to make him change himself. his lifestyle, etc.
but he has no other life than games and of what the military demands of him.
even during social evenings with friends he is hoping to make gaming friends to play with in his downtime, or playing games on his phone at dinners, talking only about games, wasting weekends to play "free open betas"
I'm so done with this routine, but I still pine for him.
i know I need to expect a long time before anything really truly gets better, but i feel so helpless and I'm just wanting it to all be over.
what do I do now?