I introduced my wife to an online game on her tablet and even set her up with Discord to talk to people. Originally, I played with her in the game, for about a month... But I just wasn't into it. She continued.
For a little background, we've been together for almost 11 years, married almost 10. She has a flirting incident that didn't bother me before we were married. I was in an accident after 6 months of meeting and I have been mildly disabled since... Walk with a cane etc. She had an emotional affair that lead to a physical affair and almost a divorce 5 years into our marriage and we were apart for 6 months. Some of that was my fault because I withdrew from the relationship because of my issues physically going on. We fixed that... So I thought.
Since being together she has been talking to several people on many different platforms, but I found it because of her gaming. I decided to come back to play with her because things have been rough for her, and I logged on and saw stuff she wrote in public chat... I discussed it with her and thought that was it. However, a week later I found that she was talking to someone and sending sexy pictures. We discussed it and she said she really wants "us" and that she ****ed up. We talked some more and I thought it was dealt with... And she said it has to do with her low self-esteem... Everyone she talks with says she's hot. 10/10. But she does not like stuff.
Anyway, I let her keep playing and I was moving my account to her server but she kept finding reasons for me not too. Eventually it came out she wanted this to be only her thing and she was hurt I quit playing with her. I decided not to play... But we have always had an open policy regarding our phones etc. So I decided to check it again a week later and it turns out out I missed soo much stuff on discord and in the game. I brought it up again and she said she ****ed up. But it was so she could live out fantasies with strangers and she wasn't going to let it go past that.
She said she'd give up the game and all of her social media... But it made me feel like sh**. So I brought up maybe I could live with her doing this under certain rules but I wasn't she it wouldn't change me.
She's been out of discord and the game for two days, but I feel like sh**. She told me not to worry about thinking about it anymore she was just going to quit. She's been out for two days and just isn't feeling it.
I don't know what to do. I love her. She says she wants me and our family. But, I feel like a doormat. I found this site while Googling. Our relationship seems to be good. She's opened up so much with me in the 10 years... But this past few months have been huge.
Should I let her have a pass to send pictures online and talk with people. She doesn't seem to let it go too far and if I have oversight, could I make it work? I feel sick... Like physically ill... I've dry heaved a few times and just don't have an appetite, but she's been mooping around... When we haven't done stuff together..like our board game time or cooking together. We've still been sexual. And cuddling, kissing, etc. She's said about the game and not the guys... And she gave me her phone and tablet... She doesn't want them because she says she doesn't trust herself.
Any ideas? Maybe I should have just divorced her instead of stopping the proceedings. But I want her. We are awesome together, I'm just tired of another guy being around.