Withdrawal Symptoms

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dreamdancer
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Joined: 08/30/2011 - 2:35pm
Withdrawal Symptoms

He's trying to wean himself from excessive gaming (60h/week for years) again, the last 20 times without success. I am finally breaking free from being co-dependant, which was a very long and stony road, but now I don't really care anymore if he plays. I managed to unload my guilt and being a useless helper. Now that he is trying again his withdrawal symptoms are worse than his absence. He's too arrogant or scared to get real help that might help his anxiety and constant tension. I have to leave the room, it's so unpleasant. How can I be supportive without starting to become co-dependant again and not suffocate with the crazy tension in the room?

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome back dreamdancer

Welcome back dreamdancer

There are some links in this post about supporting addicts that you may find helpful

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/supporting-and-understanding-addict

I think the best way you can support him is to look after yourself, stay healthy and 'detach with love' and for him to know that if he needs your help with recovery or advice about "getting help" then he can come to you. I guess otherwise you have to let him get on with his own recovery, even if you think he is doing it the 'wrong' way. His experience of withdrawal symptoms are a part of the process of his recovery and are probably doing some good as he learns from the experience, even though they hard to cope with for you and him at the time.

The fact that you are still together despite his problem shows that you are supporting him. I hope that one day he will be able to tell you how much that has helped him in his recovery.

You may get better advice then this if you attend an anon group such as Nar-anon or Al-Anon. Some of the spouses on here have found it very helpful.

I am sorry that this must be so hard for you to have to cope with. You sound like a very strong and compassionate person and your husband is lucky to have you. Keep looking after yourself.

INFO

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