1 1/2 year game free... and new here.

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May17
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1 1/2 year game free... and new here.

1 1/2 year ago, I gave my computer to my brother with the message "wipe it, install the software I need (skype, office and firefox), put a password on it I do not know and take away my rights.

He asked: "Are you sure?"

My head began screaming all kinds of excuses why I should not, so I said "yes" and nearly threw the computer at him. I have not regretted doing that. You see, I followed a different program (NA) and I COULD NOT STAY GAME FREE. The games kept pulling at me, I just longed for the games and whenever I was home I would sit at my computer and play games until I fell asleep. Uninstalling didn't help, as I would just reinstall them again. I have been visiting meetings for more then a year and kept relapsing. So extreme measures were needed with me.

My brother didn't put all the game related sites and game-sites on a blocklist, so I have to deal with that once in a while (and boy, it can be tough), but I can ask for support from fellows. I can also pray to my higher power and ask for guidance.

I have made a list of my resentments, my fears and the people I hurt and shared them with my sponsor, it released me from all those excuses, from all the suffering I did to myself.

I worked on that amazing list of character defects. They will be taken away when my higher power considers it the time for them to be taken away. I'm not perfect, but that's ok. I realize my higher power keeps giving me things to work on, so I may grow.

I have asked for forgiveness from those that I hurt and in the process I forgave myself. There are some I cannot reach anymore. That's ok, I need to forgive myself through them, but in their absence I can find other ways to forgive myself through them.

I keep doing all this. I must. Today I have a choice. Do I start gaming again (in other words, do I destroy my life again) or do I work the program? I tend to forget. I tend to think that I can keep it in check. I want to play the game. I cannot afford to forget, so I work the program.

I have not gamed in a year and a half. My life isn't perfect, but I made a commitment to it. I won't run away for life anymore. I will accept life on life's terms.

I found recovery in another program (NA) and only just found these forums. I desire to be in contact with fellow game addicts.

Scott
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ADH wrote: I found recovery
ADH wrote:

I found recovery in another program (NA) and only just found these forums. I desire to be in contact with fellow game addicts.

Welcome ADH! I also found recovery elsewhere (in AA and NA) and worked a recovery program, but really sank into gaming addiction for a while. Connecting with other gaming addicts in meetings (and outside them) and working a thorough written Step One on my gaming made the difference for me.

Like they say in AA and NA, "If you can't remember your last binge, you probably haven't had it yet." So it's important to me to keep it green, remember where I came from, so I don't go back there. We have a lot of meetings every day online, voice and chat. The schedule is here: http://olganon.org/?q=node/46551

See you at the meetings!

What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.

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