Last Friday I called it quits for gaming. The first couple of days were easy but it is getting more difficult.
One of the first things I noticed after deleting all my games was how much time I was now spending on the internet instead. So I decided to cut my computer use. Now before I turn on my computer I make a list of things that I am going to do and only do that. It has helped but now that I don't have the internet as a distraction, I find myself sometimes remembering games I played. Not wanting to think about games because I didn't want the temptation, I tried to remember good times I had in real life with real people. Surprisingly even that is hard because most of my time for at least the past 10 years has been work, eat, game, sleep, work, eat, game, sleep. That's a big problem because without positive real life experiences to focus on it is way too easy to fill that void with the false fantasies games provide.
So to eliminate the temptation of games tonight was my break the CDs night. I got all my online games together and spent about an hour cutting and breaking the CDs. Here is the end result:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47902780@N07/4391177743/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47902780@N07/4391177337/
Just a side note, if you want to break your CDs, a pair of scissors helps. Also be very careful because small pieces tend to break off, like when you shatter a glass, so be sure to vacuum the area really good afterwards.
Some of these games were hard to kill. Especially the collector's edition ones, but it all had to be done. I was already beginning to feel the pull. Now it's not as easy to get back into these games. As for my boxes of single player games, I am getting rid of them too. What doesn't sell I am trashing. Twenty years of gaming is way too long and I have no intention whatsoever of spending the next twenty years gaming.
As a final note, if you are a young person, mid-20's or younger, please don't let these games control your life. I made that mistake and now I have wasted two decades of life in them. Stop now while you are still young and learn to live, here, now, in reality.
Gratz on having the guts to break your cd's, murray. I hope it helps you to keep away from gaming. I think that is a good step in the right direction.
Congrats Murray on taking the next step in recovery and realizing your life is worth more than games. My husband probably has as many games as you, although he is only playing one right now. He is turning 40 this year and his wasting his life. has no friends, etc. You have given me hope that maybe one day he will open his eyes and realize his life and family are passing him by.
Breaking my disks was very hard for me took a lot of determination. Well done for doing so great work.
http://www.olganon.org/?q=fish_bowl
Yay Murray! Elsewhere folks write about how when we arrive here our inclination to be interested in and "do" things is a bit damaged from the gaming. So initially we complain of not really wanting to do anything else.
Most of us had to start out by not questioning or talking ourselves out of the small idea or passing thought to do an activity, but instead to go do it. Typically half way through our activity we realize we enjoy it.
For myself personally, things like "I'm going to work out for an hour!" didn't work because the real world sensory experience of being in my own life was enough. So instead "I'm going to go walk" or "I'm going to get in a pool" and leaving it open ended was very helpful.
In early withdrawal I also found silly things like sitting on a park bench watching people go by to be very interesting, or another time I was picking up my daughter from the mall--it was actually pleasant to watch real people go about their business.
On that note, we have some precious sunshine and rain in our forecast, I need to get out and walk the dog!
Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.
Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.
Way to go Murray like the others have said that took guts ,and determination.Heres to a better life for all of us outside of the virtual worlds.
"It's all in your mind...Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life.If you continue to believe as you have always believed,you will continue to act as you have always acted.If you continue to act as you have always acted,you will continue to get what you have always gotten.If you want different results in your life or your work,all you have to do is change your mind." Anonymous...
Thank you all! It was a very hard thing to do. Have to admit there was a little part of me wanting to reinstall a couple of these games instead of breaking them. I just kept remembering how peaceful the last week was though. When I gamed a lot I was impatient, hot tempered, and a bunch of other negatives but this past week with no gaming, everything has calmed down a lot.
Still a long road ahead but now there is a better chance of success. At least now there is hope for something better and real in the future.
Murray, congrats! There will be an andrenaline rush....then mourning....then depression/withdrawal.
Sleep. Eat well. Be good to yourself. And keep busy.
The question is....will you be able/courageous/adult enough to sacrifice that which merely pleases you...for that which will truly fulfill you? That is the question of personal growth.
~~~Dem518
~~~wow-free since 8/22/09
Hi Murray,
Well done! Good to hear you have become sick and tired of being sick and tired.
You are on the right track. I dont have any words of wisdom - you appear to know know what to do and have set about doing it.
Congratulations,
- dark
Hey Murray,
Congrats man! I still haven't worked up the nerve to break all my CDs yet, but I have uninstalled everything and sold my account (on the game I was most addicted to)!
Keep it up man. After reading all these posts it's comforting to know people are going through the same things i am. And if you can find the strength to do it, I will too.
Matt D
"All saints have a past, and all sinners have a future" -Warren Buffet
great job murray. Im new at leaving the gaming behind too. I know how hard it can be sometimes...although, much like you, I felt so much better last week after giving it up. I am wishing you so much good right now.
-S.
http://emerginghealthy.blogspot.com/
http://emerginghealthy.blogspot.com/
departed daily gaming February 18, 2010
Dear Emerging,
Thanks for sharing and for your wonderful blog. SL was my addiction too. Keep moving forward in RL.
- dark
Good job
Just a sugestion for anybody else who is considering breaking CDs. I found that if you break the cd while it is inside of a paper CD envelope that helps a lot as it keeps all the bits and pieces from going flying...
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"