Daily Count up

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Kate1song
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Daily Count up

This is a countup thread I am, and everyone else is invited to post our days/hours that we've been free from excessive gaming.

It's also hopefully a place that one might share what they are learning/doing on the journey of recovery.

There are no real rules associated with this thread, but as it is in the Agnostic/Atheist Discussion Forum, it might not be the best place for an extensive discussion of spirituality.

Also, I am going to hold myself accountable to be an encourager and only use this thread to share my thoughts. I also hope to respect and encourage the reflections of others.

Sharing insights one might find within step recovery is also encouraged as Olga offers the 12 Step Program for Atheist/Agnostics.

http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/1275

Hopefully this might be a place to learn and grow.

Kate1song
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109 Days Game Free. Today I

109 Days Game Free.

Today I took my 10 year old son swimming at the YMCA. He has a kids triathlon tomorrow and I am a bit nervous about it. He's an ok swimmer but swimming 100 yards will be a challenge for him. Then he's got a 2 mile bike, followed by a 1/2 mile run.

I don't know why feeling like this... But I'm overall excited for him.

Hope everyone has a great game free weekend.

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8 years ago was my last week

8 years ago was my last week of addictive play, i.e. more than 40 hours a week.

4 years ago was my "trying to moderate WoW".

So I am "game free" for 4 years now.

Today, I worked in my medical clinic, talked about gaming addiction to one patient, and shared my story with 3 ladies at the haircut place.

Ate lunch with my son, daughter, and wife at In-and-Out.

Headed out to a party with my wife tonight!

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

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I passed my 4-month mark a

I passed my 4-month mark a couple of days ago without noticing. :( I am actually 126 days out from computer games. I did some good work today, and in fact, I worked reasonably well all week. Hit my targets, which admittedly are set fairly low, but I will up them as I get better. And better I am getting, yes. What's improved?

Interaction with people ++ Step work + Interaction on OLGA +++ Interaction with family +++ Gardening + Work + Organization and basic responsibilities + Dealing with the accumulated financial and physical disaster 0 (but at least not worse). What I'm learning? If you quit games your mind gets better and you have time to do stuff. Lots of different stuff. You get unstuck from the excuses and crappy decisions you've been making in order to keep gaming. You find yourself able to occasionally take action. You feel better about yourself. It's good.

I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.

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Passed 60 days off my

Passed 60 days off my addictive problem game the other day. I still have a silly kids app on my phone that I play, and I am still replacing my real addictive game with web surfing that I'm increasingly aware of and fighting.

Today I helped my kids clean their rooms for a sleepover tonight, made them lunch, and took them swimming at the gym. Before, I would have spent all that time on my phone, until I got yelled at by wife or a child. Then I'd be shuttling back and forth to the PC downstairs, just to 'check in for two minutes.' And I probably would have sat at the edge of the pool and played instead of going in (I hate swimming). Today everyone had a great time, and I gave everyone Dolphin Rides on my back.

If someone would fax me an In n Out burger, it might be a perfect day.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

GrowingUp
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  Thanks Kate, I'm marking

Thanks Kate,

I'm marking this as 3 weeks 5 days. September 10th will be 4 weeks.

Starting to feel like I'm getting somewhere!

Zoe

Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.

Patria
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Last game: 455 days Last

Last game: 455 days

Last smoke: 6273 days

Last drink: 9789 days

Last emotional binge on posting: 3 days

Scott
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144 days since i last

144 days since i last gamed

4,646 days since i last smoked

5,694 days since i last drank

6,094 days since i last drugged

14,337 days since i was last born

What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.

Kate1song
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110 days. Great countups

110 days.

Great countups guys. Grz on your sixty days Ezzazy. Have you gotten your chit?

I can totally relate what you said about spending time with the kids. When I was gaming, my son lost his glasses. Rather than look for them in his messy room, I went out and bought him a new pair. Found the other pair under the bed after month later after I'd finally quit.

I feel like I've dialed in to really caring for him again.

Makes me sad that I wasted all that time in front of a monitor, when I could have been watching him grow. ((sigh)) Anyway, we are getting very close now. And with the info I have on gaming addiction, hopefully he won't suffer from the consequences of excessive gaming the way other young people have.

The kids triathlon was a big washout today. Raining like crazy. Kind of a disappointment. But training together this summer cycling, swimming, and a bit of running, was fun. I look forward to more opportunities in the future.

Zoe, glad to see you are still game free.

Thanks so much to everyone who is here. Thanks to you Pat. Scott, Dan and Andy, (Mud) for all you do to make Olga a good place for all. Wishing everyone a game free Sunday :)

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223 days since I gamed.

223 days since I gamed. Overall, life is much improved, but there's a long walk out of the woods yet to go.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

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Assuming my Excel date

Assuming my Excel date function is working, I am at 978 days since excessive gaming (1/5/2010).

Today I was at a friends son's party, a call for some work on the side, put up blinds, and am working on my research. I was able to wake up earlier, play with my kids while my wife slept in (she needed it), none of which would be possible before.

I've not been here much over the last year as my life has been overwhelming (newborn, school, work changes, moving, etc...) but I've been putting some of my thoughts together for my blog.

Joe

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111 Days. Some days fly by..

111 Days. Some days fly by.. and some are really slow.

Yesterday was one of those days. It rained all day, and I didn't have much motiviation to do anything. I spent a lot of time reading, but found myself, at times, quite anxious... for no apparent reason.

When that happened, I stopped what I was doing, relaxed myself, and let my mind clear. It's one of the greatest things I've learned since I've quit gaming.

I never realized how much anxiety and restlessness played a role in my escapist behavior... Now that I am not jumping into those behaviors, I've found taking moments to relax "in the moment" makes a big difference.

I've been thinking a lot about what Joe posted in his blog about goals, and have enjoyed just letting myself "think" about the future and possibilities. I have a few plans in mind.

I am experiencing a lot of gratitude as well. I am thankful for a clear mind, relatively healthy body, and a family that I am now holding onto with all my heart.

Gaming almost destroyed all that... So I am grateful everyday for my "sobriety".

For anyone who reads, have a great, hopefully game free day.

:-)

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Four months for me tomorrow,

Four months for me tomorrow, so 120-something days, I guess.

But that's gaming. Binge-surfing would be a lot less. And I haven't been counting up those days. Probably should.

"She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it)." --Lewis Carroll

Rainmaker_9 (not verified)
158 for me today :-) 

158 for me today :-)

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  After repair of my Y

After repair of my Y swimming pool I started again lap swimming in earnest. This time, morning swims. My first was good, I managed to time everything correctly and made it to work on time.

yea !!

I did my usual 1000 meters and felt really good afterwards.

Today marks 1 month w/o my game. I must press on...

Zoe

Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.

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operetta wrote: But that's
operetta wrote:

But that's gaming. Binge-surfing would be a lot less. And I haven't been counting up those days. Probably should.

Yeah, I'm having that same challenge/problem/issue. I think if I counted that honestly, I'd be at, oh, lets see, five, seven, twenty-four, carry the one -- exactly five minutes.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

Kate1song
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112.  Long day today and I

112.

Long day today and I am tired.

In one hour I have to turn around and go to my son's open house. Were I gaming, I'd prolly bribe him into skipping it so I'd have more time to waste in front of the monitor....

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Kate1song wrote: In one
Kate1song wrote:

In one hour I have to turn around and go to my son's open house. Were I gaming, I'd prolly bribe him into skipping it so I'd have more time to waste in front of the monitor....

Oh my goodness, I've bribed my family members so many times I can't count, and I even forgot how much I did do that.

Thank you Kate for reminding me, and good for you that you went!

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  I made it to the pool

I made it to the pool again today. Amazed at how many folks are actually swimming at 6:15 AM. I am in a real rut on my work out... 200 free, 200 kick, 200 pull, 200 breast, 200 free. I like the 200 sets as they are easy to count 8 laps - switch. I need to add flip turns on the free and pull.... have to work in that.

Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.

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How long game free?

How long game free? Completely clean maybe just over a couple of weeks. Every now and then a day of gaming creeps in, after which I become quickly fed-up with it. Strange how it keeps its allure while it is no fun at all anymore.

I am on holidays now. I had some really fun days meeting the people from my home town again. The days after I had nothing planned. This resulted in reading books. I can, because I am on holidays, is what I tell myself. But really I know what I should be doing: working on a big project. I have great difficulty putting myself to it, as it has been on hold now for already half a year. And after the holidays I will be flooded with the dayly job routine again. Somehow the book-reading starts to feel like gaming: an escape. It is much less destructive, that is for sure, but an escape non the less.

Although I am far from where I want to be, I can honestly say that I feel much more sane now than a year back, and the difference between today and 2 years back is just night and day. But keeping myself on the right track takes effort and it takes time, it seems. The old tracks are still worn into the road, and it is easy to slide back into them. I suppose the trick is to just continue trying, right? :-)

(Keep coming back is what Pete likes to say. :-) )

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

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Steele wrote: I suppose the
Steele wrote:

I suppose the trick is to just continue trying, right? :-)

Yup.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

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Umm, I lost count of the

Umm, I lost count of the days, I think it was April 2012 since I deleted everything.

Kate1song
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113 Each day brings

113

Each day brings challenges. I talked to a parent today about an upcoming meeting for an organization I coordinate at my school. Some of her comments made me feel really defensive. I got a bit upset, but immediately sought out a few friends.. got some perspective, and had a nice followup call with her later.

I don't know how people let things roll off them like water of a duck's back. I wish I could be more like that. My husband is like that..

I'm working on it...

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Steele wrote: ....But
Steele wrote:

....But keeping myself on the right track takes effort and it takes time, it seems. The old tracks are still worn into the road, and it is easy to slide back into them. I suppose the trick is to just continue trying, right? :-)

(Keep coming back is what Pete likes to say. :-) )

Thanks, Steele, for saying this in such a clear way. I have realized for some time that I am either consciously working on recovery or I am sliding back into wandering around like a zombie, not dealing with life (either through gaming or something else unhealthy). There is no middle ground. Quit and work on the recovery (however we have each constructed our own recovery) or slide back into those tracks. Choose. And not choosing *is* choosing. A nice lesson for me today.

I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.

Kate1song
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dan939 wrote:   I have
dan939 wrote:

I have realized for some time that I am either consciously working on recovery or I am sliding back into wandering around like a zombie, not dealing with life (either through gaming or something else unhealthy). There is no middle ground.

Me too...

Today.. I am moving forward :-)

Thanks guys.

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Tomorrow will be 35 days.

Tomorrow will be 35 days. It feels good. I apologize to those who differ from me, the way I see things and react to things. I guess that is why the saying goes:

Everyone is unique, each in their own way.

The Swimming goes well. One day I was running late so I only did 800 meters. So my total for the week is 3,800 meters. I won't be swimming tomorrow as my Fathers second wife will be visiting and I will be getting ready for the visit. I'm looking forward to her visit: the first since my Dad passed on.

No time for gaming - and no need with the busy weekend coming up. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

-Zoe

Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.

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Day 115 Awesome stuff Zoe!!!

Day 115

Awesome stuff Zoe!!! One of the benefits to quitting gaming is looking forward to spending time with my family.

I hope you have a great weekend too.

((hugs))

Rainmaker_9 (not verified)
Kate1song wrote: I don't
Kate1song wrote:

I don't know how people let things roll off them like water of a duck's back. I wish I could be more like that.

Music has become a huge part of my recovery.

Here's my new "theme song" which talks about letting it roll right off your back.

Enjoy :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZmEr6hGHaY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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Kate1song wrote: I don't
Kate1song wrote:

I don't know how people let things roll off them like water of a duck's back...

Sometimes it's because they don't notice or are so absorbed in what they are doing other stuff isn't important.

I'd rather be sensitive to others and get upset (then learn how to deal with the uspet) then let it roll off me. Just a thought.

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984 days for me. My days are

984 days for me. My days are pretty much packed with work, school, and family. I'm barely keeping up as it is, which of course makes me look for some kind of stress outlet. I'm still trying to workout every day, though the last week or so I've just not been able to spare that hour.

My research is going well (school), but i'm finding it going off in unexpected directions (which is both exciting and scary).

My basement is being finished, I was marking all the outlets and jacks and A/V ports. My wife's rule is not cables can touch the ground, so everything has to be in the wall. I've really enjoyed this project, though it's a huge time drain.

Monday I have a playground being installed for my kids, pretty sure it'll blow their minds.

One thing that hurt me a bit recently while chatting with someone about addiction. The person essentially said that since I was able to stop gaming on my own without intervention of others I wasn't really ever addicted and didn't have a problem. For some reason that statement really hurt. Maybe because it implied that stopping gaming wasn't much of an accomplishment for me, or it diminished my success. Either way, it still bothers me some time later.

Joe

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Five hundred Forty one days

Five hundred Forty one days for me. Joe, thats rotten, to be told that, just rotten. You are a success story here at the site and remember that your addiction can bite you every chance itt gets. Its progressive, so stay vigilent! Hey, I just added my two coppers because I remember you when you were struggling here and now you've come such a long way. I know in my heart that that road must have had its bumps and bruises. What I'll say id this: I'm an addict, and I'll always be one, just now, a recovering addict. Glad you are sharing with us again!

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

Rainmaker_9 (not verified)
Day 163 This weekend is a

Day 163

This weekend is a milestone for me. No hubby here as he is away for the weekend. In the past I'd have filled every minute with game time and quests... But this time is different!!!

I spent last night with my youngest son snuggling a playing board games and reading to him.

Today we woke up early, I fixed bacon eggs and pancakes! Yummy! Then we were off to soccer... More soccer games later today and plan to take the boys out for dinner and birthday shopping... Tomorrow were going apple picking!!! It been great to share with them and be in the moment instead of them seeing my face glued to a screen and giving them one word answers...major turn around for me!!!

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JoeD wrote:  The person
JoeD wrote:

The person essentially said that since I was able to stop gaming on my own without intervention of others I wasn't really ever addicted and didn't have a problem.

I am not sure what "intervention" the person might have been referring to, but there was a moment where i when it became clear to me that gaming was hurting me, and that I needed to quit. Whether or not anyone believed I had a problem was a moot point. Really, only my husband knew.

When the word "addiction" comes up in a way that sparks bad feelings, I always go back to the mission statement of Olga.

Olga is a place for those of us who have experienced the "negative effects of online/video gaming".

We are really only here to give/receive support to each other..

How we choose to label ourselves is entirely personal.

Kate1song
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Rainmaker_9 wrote: Day
Rainmaker_9 wrote:

Day 163

This weekend is a milestone for me. No hubby here as he is away for the weekend. In the past I'd have filled every minute with game time and quests... But this time is different!!!

I spent last night with my youngest son snuggling a playing board games and reading to him.

That just sounds fantastic Rain. I am soo happy for you :-)

I can feel the love.

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229 today for me, I think. I

229 today for me, I think.

I agree with Kate. It comes down to me being honest with me. Everything else - labels, other people's perceptions - is very much secondary. The "addict" label doesn't bother me much because I know it's not the sum of me. I don't go around waving it like a flag inappropriately, but there are times, in safe company, when the word helps me get to the truth of my behavior.

And that is wonderful, Rain. I so envy those of you with kids. I realize they're a huge responsibility, but they're an even greater source of joy. Warms my heart to know you're present in their lives now.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

JoeD
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John, it was actually my

John, it was actually my schoolwork which started my mind thinking about these things again. I was doing research for my dissertation and addiction and closemindeness (something that now facinates me) concepts were coming up in some of the areas I'm working in. It started my mind turning and seeing new angels on things and so I decided I'd had enough time that I should start writing about my experiance.

The challenge I've faced is how hard it is to remember how I felt. I wish I had written down more back then.

Joe

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Day 117 Quiet day for me. I

Day 117

Quiet day for me.

I downloaded the "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook" and am slowly reading through it. I started using some of the strategies to help me deal with my emotions/stress this summer, and using the techniques really helped me feel better.

Looking to practice them more.

It feels good to feel good.

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Sounds like a wonderful day,

Sounds like a wonderful day, and the kind that helps one remember how much better use of time there is.

Joe

Rainmaker_9 wrote:

Day 163

This weekend is a milestone for me. No hubby here as he is away for the weekend. In the past I'd have filled every minute with game time and quests... But this time is different!!!

I spent last night with my youngest son snuggling a playing board games and reading to him.

Today we woke up early, I fixed bacon eggs and pancakes! Yummy! Then we were off to soccer... More soccer games later today and plan to take the boys out for dinner and birthday shopping... Tomorrow were going apple picking!!! It been great to share with them and be in the moment instead of them seeing my face glued to a screen and giving them one word answers...major turn around for me!!!

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Day 18 What I've learned so

Day 18

What I've learned so far:

That there's a lot of emotion that gaming suppressed. Gaming often served as an escape from my problems but it also made my feelings shallow. It also made me neglect my physcial health. Feeling better is imperative in having better self-control--whenever I feel down I get the urge to play. Therefore, I've learned that I have to prioritize...

- Getting more sleep

- Eating Better

- Exercising more

It's amazing how "out of touch" I was with these things. While I'm still "out of touch" in the grand scheme of things, I've got glimmer of understanding. One of those "ah ha" moments.

- clouds

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Three weeks today :D I did

Three weeks today :D

I did dream about gaming a few times, but I was relieved when I woke up that they were only dreams... I feel like I have woken up from a five-year long dream actually, I don't remember reality seeming so "real" when I was gaming. Maybe I went through the motions of living, but I was rarely if ever fully present in the moment.

Anyway, I am so glad to be free! Life is not perfect, but it is pretty good, and I am learning to cope more appropriately with the less than perfect parts. I don't think I am 100% "cured" yet, if you can even be cured, but I actually feel alive now, and a lot more clear-headed. :)

This is a great community of people, I am only free because of all of you

"A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears." ~Michel de Montaigne

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Kate1song wrote: I am not
Kate1song wrote:

I am not sure what "intervention" the person might have been referring to, but there was a moment where i when it became clear to me that gaming was hurting me, and that I needed to quit. Whether or not anyone believed I had a problem was a moot point. Really, only my husband knew.

When the word "addiction" comes up in a way that sparks bad feelings, I always go back to the mission statement of Olga.

Olga is a place for those of us who have experienced the "negative effects of online/video gaming".

We are really only here to give/receive support to each other..

How we choose to label ourselves is entirely personal.

That is a wise decision and perspective. I often preach, but forget myself, that we all experience things in very different ways and our 'labels' are how we interpret them. While there may be common threads, it's important to recognize that we can't experience or completely understand what one another are going through.

Day 986 for me. I took the day off work, but I'm going to spend almost all of it reading for school. I need to go buy my son a basketball to help him practice (which means I need to start looking up on youtube how to dribble). Last night was rough because I was at a party and had too many sweets. Over the course of all my other problems, I learned that when my blood-sugar gets out of balance I become very depressed.

Joe

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First day at work after the

First day at work after the holidays. I was really NOT looking forward to it. But it was actually a really nice day.

And that is all the update I have right now :-).

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

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It's great to hear from all

It's great to hear from all of you and what you are learning on your journey.

On my own road to recovery, sometimes it's been 1 step forward 2 steps back. But I feel like I am always moving forward.

My goal these days is to be present. Do my best at work. Take care of myself and my home.

And take time to be emotionally there for my husband and son. I am so grateful to have them.

((Big hugs))

Patria
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Big hugs back Kate. I'm

Big hugs back Kate.

I'm going to try to do something unique for me: live today only.

Today I will do my chores with attention and love.

Today I will treat my husband and myself with respect.

Today I will try to do something really good for myself.

So far, it's working. I fixed french toast this morning, with warmed syrup on warm plates.

Put ice on my back (fell last week and injured back), which helps.

And respect? much better today.

Kate1song
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Sounds so yummy Pat. I love

Sounds so yummy Pat. I love french toast. :-)

Busy day at work. Tonight I take my son to his activity stuff.

Being present.

Steele
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Normal day. Some hours were

Normal day. Some hours were not that productive, but in the end a fullfilling day and I got some things done. Was doing sports today also, yesterday I did the same. Actually, now that I think of it, it was not a "normal day", it was a "good day".

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

Patria
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Today husband I went and got

Today husband I went and got our meds; went to In&Out burger, then took the burgers over to the marina and watched the sailboats,dolphins and seagulls. Beautiful sunny day, cool breezes...wonderful!

Like Kate said, being present.

exazzy
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Today, I acknowledge that

Today, I acknowledge that what I was doing was not working for me. Even though I haven't gone back to my old game (or any new ones), and the addictive/destructive game is somewhere around day 75 into my past, today is Day 1. Meaning no substitution of 'these new internets over here' for 'those old internets over there.' Alcoholics do not stay clean switching from beer to wine and neither do I.

So, I picked up a Just for Today keytag at my NA meeting today, and I'm looking at 90 meetings in 90 days, making smart changes in my life, being present, being selfless, and making progress will take care of itself.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

Kate1song
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Hugs to you Exazzy. I've had

Hugs to you Exazzy. I've had to walk through some brutal self honesty over the last few months. I understand what you've just shared.

Another work day for me.

Swam this morning.

Made some cookies that didn't turn out so great but tasted pretty good.

Living life on life's terms.

Thats about it for today :-)

Patria
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Hugs Exazzy! and hugs Kate :)

Hugs Exazzy! and hugs Kate :)

Gettingalife
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You're awesome, Ex, and I'm

You're awesome, Ex, and I'm happy to remind you anytime you happen to forget that. Same goes for you, Kate.

I'm having a full, full work week this week. Feels good. I've earned my tired tonight. Not a bad place to be.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

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