Dealing with emotions...

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anonymous (not verified)
Dealing with emotions...

Hi all

I'm in day 14th yay!!! i'm happy for it, no doubt about it... i wish i could say that i miss my avis but no, surprisingly i don't... in fact i have new feelings towards that.

Yesterday we've been talking about the possibility of fall again and also about the anger... interesting issue because in this moment i'm experimenting this feelings. Well in my past post i told you that the main reason why i left the game was due to a deception and the person who i was attach in the game wrote me something that made feel that he feels sorry for me... i don't know but my pride was hurt by that and i so wished to have him in front of me and kick his... well you know.

The main problem is that this anger is now going further... i've begun to hate the game and everything related to that. I have one friend, she stills play secondlife and she's been supporting me all this time and when she began to talk about the game i got so angry at her and almost yell "it's not real, it's not real!!!".

I decided to ignore the messages of that person, i won't answer back... i'm sure of that and i think it's the best... but hell!!! i so want to destroy him. Then more "great ideas" come into my head, the avi i erased two months ago was the one who is partnered with him and he didn't disolve the partnership and when i erased the avi i didn't change the profile and in that profile i put how happy i was for be with him and etc. As i told to Maud in her blog, i tried to recover her but then i said no... but sometimes i wish i can have her back to change her profile and disolve that **** partnership... maybe this would sound stupid but i feel like my dead avi is not resting in peace... god!!! only writing that sound insane i know but this is how i feel... then the insanity in me leave me and i said "hey, forget about it, it's only a toon... put your mind in other things". Other great idea was to tell my friend if she can write him asking him to disolve it... but i don't want to do that, i don't want to show him that i'm still hurt...

At this point i have another question... i'm emotional right now due to my bad experience there but i don't miss the game... am i an addict?... i mean, i have all the symptoms, lots of hours in front of the pc, neglect my real life, etc but i definetely do not miss the game... so sorry, i'm kind of a mess a right now and i feel that i don't have answers for this...

This is a group for people who is addicted to games and i'm here suffering for something different... i don't know right now what to do. I don't wanna hate secondlife or him, i just want to ignore them and i'm fighting with it...

Well, being cinical, writing it made me feel a bit better... i so wish this nightmare end soon.


Kate1song's picture
Last seen: 8 years 4 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/15/2010 - 10:19am
Thats a really good question

Thats a really good question Mubb, Is this forum for gaming addicts? Lots of people consider that question....

Actually if you read the Olganon mission statement this is an important piece:

We share our experience, strengths and hope to assist in recovery from the problems caused by excessive game playing

It doen't even say anything about being an "addict". This is a place to receive support. I think thats what you need. So I believe you are in the right place with people who completely understand what you are going through. At this point I wouldn't concern myself with conteplating the "addict" thing...Also, I wouldn't waste my energy on being "angry" at the game. I'd just focus on staying out, receiving support, and giving yourself lots of grace.

Hugs to you Mubb

Another Gamer
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/30/2010 - 9:19am
Here's something that may

Here's something that may make you feel a little better, mubb. Your avatar, or any other avatar you will EVER create, is and always will be an extension of you. Meaning, the avatar is what YOU use to connect to the game. A tool, and nothing more. The AVATAR is not real, and never will be, but YOU are.

What I'm trying to say is, I understand how you want to go back into the game, to change the profile of your avatar to state your unhappiness with your former partner. BUT. There is no need, because as I said, your avatar is an extension of you, and you already know your unhappiness. You can create that same avatar anywhere else, and state your unhappiness with the former partner, and it will be the same as if you had done it with the second life avatar. Because it is YOU who are controlling that avatar. Once again, the avatar in question is NOT real, has NO feelings, and is but a pile of compiled computer code.

So there is no need to feel as if "she" is not resting in peace, because if you are able to go past this situation and move on, then I can guarantee you that "she" is resting peacefully. Because "she" is and always was YOU. Think not of the dummy, but of the ventriloquist, for that is where the life is born.

Sorry if all this was so very confusing to read, but that's how I felt about the situation.

A single step is all it takes to begin a long journey...

Last seen: 13 years 2 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/08/2011 - 9:37pm
(apologies in advance if

(apologies in advance if this is disjointed and 'crazy' sounding.. have not slept well and is a rough day for me too)

You know mubb? you can't be all that crazy really.. if I am sitting over here having the EXACT SAME THOUGHTS!!! Unless of course, we are both crazy? Hmmm.. well, i read your post on an emotional day so i might just come across as crazier than YOU!!.

I SO get this!! Remember the 'epic farewell' I was regretting having NOT done with my avatar? Well, I would LOVE to go back in just to fix that, and to make sure she IS resting in peace.. plus give my two cents worth to all the meanies in there that made me feel badly!! Nya nya nee ner nee.

I've also had the same question rumbling around in my own head about whether or not i am actually a game addict, or not. For now, i am squelching those thoughts a little because the 'game' IS creating problems for me.. whether its the cause, or another.. i need the support. Stay here with me ok? you are SUCH an inspiration and i suspect i might just fall down... but there is a comfortable place here to land :)

Once I feel better about this particular 'game' addiction, i'lldelve into the other possible reasons for my 'escape-ism' behaviour.

YOur crazy Cranky Pants friend, Maud

I am recovering from a gaming addiction, which has robbed me of my actual life for the past year or so. Presently on a fairly annoying emotional roller coaster and not to be taken too seriously ;)

hirshthg's picture
Last seen: 2 months 1 week ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 11/15/2010 - 2:06pm
keep up the good

keep up the good fight:)

with our worst enemy.... our self....:)

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

Allyson2213's picture
Last seen: 6 years 11 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 12/01/2010 - 6:06pm
Well. I understand how

Well. I understand how you're feeling because my emotions sometimes are affected by some issues I left unresolved in the game but I think all this is happen because my mind is trying to cheating me and the excessive gamer that lives in my mind wants to go back to the game.

About the 'addiction' to online games, there is a discussion about if it really is an addiction itself or if its a mask to cover another kinds of ...'' behavioral dependencies that are not a novel phenomenon unique to online gaming''. I'm not an expert in the matter but I can say that I have a problem with my excessive gaming since I couldn't moderate the time spent in front of my computer playing a MMORPG at the point that all the important aspects of my real life like my health, my family, my career, my job, my social relationships were left beside.

Nevertheless there is so many ways to live with an excessive gaming problem that you don't need to lose your job or family to realize about the existence of a problem. IMO each person determinates if really has one and if decides ask for help.

"Take what you need and leave the rest." I got nothing but moments to live.

mubb (not verified)
God, is just like i've been

God, is just like i've been punch in my face lol...

Kate you're so right, i mean, this problem was cause due to my excesive time on the game and i do need help... each day i'm feeling better but i don't know, it's my pride hurt who make me act this way.

Another Gamer, i so thank you for what you wrote and believe me when i say that it's not confusing at all... i guess the biggest punch on my face comes from your comment lol... you're absolutely right, my pain stills there, no matter the avatar i use and the best way to let her "rest in peace" is me moving on. Wow, i really thank you for your words.

My crazy cranky pants friend!!! i think we both are so crazy lol is just insane what is happening in this moment with us, also insane the huge coincidence not only between us but with all of us who face an addiction. The "epic farewell" lol i did it with my last avi but not with my main one... after the huge punch lol i see no point into that, all the contrary, it makes me thing more about the game, i haven't realized that... i mean, not thinking about what i did there, but i was thinking about the game, the profile, my hurtful words for the **** etc etc etc... the point is, i was thinking of the game again!!!!. Thanks for your words, and hey you too inspire me you're such a strong girl, really and i'm happy to see you in here :)

See ya all ^^

Last seen: 11 years 5 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/06/2010 - 2:49am
Hi Mubb Congratulations!!! 

Hi Mubb

Congratulations!!! 14 days is a wonderful achievement! You have made such great progress. Although you may not been feeling wonderful or great, look at how far you have come! Your emotions and the addiction play games with our minds... the real world is a much better place to be... you have made the best decision and you know it. Think of things in the real world... get out and go for a walk or have a coffee with a friend when it gets bad. Also be prepared to pray to your Higher Power... I am learning that much help and strength comes from doing that.

Take it one day at a time... one hour at a time if necessary. I will not play this hour.

Stay strong -Kia kaha

Silvertabby's picture
Last seen: 1 year 3 months ago
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Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
Congratulations on 14 days

Congratulations on 14 days mubb. That's awesome. I think the whole thing with the emotions and concern with the avi are just part of the recovery process. I still think of my little avatars and miss them. They were cool and I enjoyed playing on them. Being the real me just isn't as fun, but it's the only thing that really matters. We just can't spend our lives hiding behind a little toon and not living real life, so we just have to get over it and move one. (ok I'm talking to myself here as well as to you) Anyway, I think you're doing great and things will get better. *hugs*


Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

Mario's picture
Last seen: 13 years 2 weeks ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/26/2010 - 6:23pm
Hiding behind a toon can

Hiding behind a toon can work at first, but I think through time it simply will not do. Life finds us no matter how deep we plant our heads in a hole.


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