Depression Strikes

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Tommi
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Depression Strikes

Hello fellow addicts and family members,

You havent seen me much here because I went through a serious bout of depression. I pray that this is now over and that the New Year brings some relief.

I am not sure what triggered this, but I expect it has been building for some time. Probably too much time on my hands... After my contract job ended in mid-Oct I was busy for a month with all the work associated with moving houses. When that was done I did not have much to do and I could not motivate myself to do anything.

On top of that we have had a bout of really bad weather, snow and freezing temperatures. Neither of which I like particularly much. One of the reasons I left Canada 15 years ago was that I just could not face the 3-4 weeks of >-10C temperatures we got there each winter. I just didnt feel like leaving the house. I tell my friends that I have had all the snow I can use to last several lifetimes.

These are external factors but I found myself not caring about anything or motivated to do anything, letting important issues and decisions just slip by.

Eventually I thought about how my mother had suffered severe depressions when she was about my age (56) and was hospitalized several times. So I went to see my GP who recommended I see a Psychologist and put me on a prescription of Citalopram which stimulates the production of serotonin.

I havent seen the Psychologist yet - waiting times are lengthy at this time of year, but the meds seem to be making a difference. Also I suppose its a new year so that is helping a little.

I think what is important for me is to use this opportunity to focus on what I really want to do and some spiritual fitness.

For now I wanted to let my friends know I am back and the reasons for my absence.

And BTW happy new year everyone.

- dark

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

gsingjane
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Welcome back Dark.  You are

Welcome back Dark. You are an important part of our community and you have been missed. I am glad to "see" you again!

Kindest regards,

Jane

BlueStone
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Welcome back, dark! Arrrrghh

Welcome back, dark! Arrrrghh :( Knowing how bad a depression can hit you, I'm sorry to hear you have to go through one. My recipe out of it is also spiritual growth... and sports, so even with freezing temperatures and frozen paths I run (or half slide like this morning) at least every second day, swimming is a nice alternative, too. I'm on a sugar free diet as well which might help too (scientists claim sugar can cause depression)... it's tough though especially in the beginning, after 3 weeks it's a lot easier.

Glad you are back and I hope the new year brings better things for you!

Gamer since 1998, last day of MMORPGs Aug 23rd, last day of any computer games Nov 27th 2010.

ToryMicheline
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Dark, This was terrible to

Dark,

This was terrible to hear. I am sorry to find out the reason for your time out and non working those fabulous Keystrokes we wait for. You are an inspiration - and that is the truth!

Take care of yourself FIRST! Please be good to yourself!

Love as always,

-Tory

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Yes! Welcome back, again and

Yes! Welcome back, again and again, dark!

Thank you so much for your candor, as usual.:-) I was just about to PM you, as obviously you were struggling, and here was your post. I do apologize for not acting upon my concerns earlier. Please forgive me.

In much caring and gratitude for who you are,

IHS

hirshthg
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depression... hard

depression... hard stuff

well i guess i for 1 will say you are welcome to be here depressed or not. (i will ignore the bad attitude).

couldn't think of a better place for you when i am depressed.

hope to see you around, gl hf gn

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

John of the Roses
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Welcome back Peter.

Welcome back Peter.

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

Scott
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One little piece of

One little piece of knowledge that I discovered in my bouts with depression: I found it very easy to counteract depression and pull myself out of it when it was first setting in, but once it set in I found it nearly impossible to do anything about it. So... I jump right into action whenever I feel it coming on. I never want to feel the depths of depression again.

What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.

Serena
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Yes, in a cognitive behavior

Yes, in a cognitive behavior class I took last summer it was said by the psychologist leading the course that the longer one is depressed the harder it is to release oneself from it.

Dark, I am sorry that you have been feeling sad. It sounds as though you have started down the slippery slide into depression that may be partly due to finishing the job contract and moving tasks, and partly due to the cold weather we are all having, even where I live. But fortunately your depression has not been for too long at this point. That is a blessing, at least.

I find that being alone really can be lonely (for me.) Some people do better and thrive on solitude. Of course you have your family, but you probably need some fresh faces and activities.

I would suggest not waiting for the psychologist without an alternative for the time being...see if there is a live 12 step group that you may fit into...some comradery is in order!

I hope that you feel better soon.

Serena

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." Albert Einstein

"You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now." Joan Baez

lizwool
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Hello Peter,  Thank you for

Hello Peter, Thank you for sharing your story. I also have depression - I have been taking a tablespoon of cod-liver oil a day, which seems to help. I am glad you are back. You have been missed very much, at our weekly meetings. I look forward to you taking the lead again. You do a marvelous job! I hope it will help you with your depression. Sincerely, Liz

Liz Woolley

sladdiction
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Hi Dark.  I hope you get

Hi Dark. I hope you get over your depression soon. I suffer with it as well. Always a bad tempting time to go back.

Addicted to SL

Serena
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Me, too!  As for what Liz

Me, too! As for what Liz Wool mentioned, there are nutrients that can definitely help alleviate depression, like Vitamin B Complex (100 mg is best, taken in the morning.) Essential fatty acids are helpful: cod liver oil, salmon or other fish oil, or flax seed oil are all good. These and Vitamin B Complex feed the brain. Some people like to take herbal remedies like St. John's Wort or SamE. You can Google all of the above with the word depression to see all the research yourself. And there are many studies that have verified the ability of aerobic exercise alone to elevate the mood and alleviate depression. Being by yourself and lonely promotes depression. So it is good that that you have your family around. Personal interaction is important...

I hope you feel better, dark.

Serena

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." Albert Einstein

"You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now." Joan Baez

Haymal
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Hey Peter, Happy New Year

Hey Peter,

Happy New Year and welcome back...glad you're feeling better. I know it's hard to function when you feel the weight of depression. Of course, we all have your back 100% and want you to feel better.

I'm proud of you for recognizing the problem and going to a doctor, sometimes that's half the battle. I hope your family is well and they are a source of comfort and help to you as well!

You are a true inspiration to us and I might add, to me in particular!

dark (not verified)
Hi everybody, Many thanks

Hi everybody,

Many thanks for the kind words of concern and encouragement. It feels great to know there are so many good friends out there. Winston Churchill called it his Black Dog.

I feel the meds are kicking in. I did not see the psychologist yet, but I am spending time each day on motivation sites.

Serena you hit the nail on the head. End of contract. Bad weather. Christmas blues. And Liz the cod liver oil is a great idea im going out shortly to buy some. My dear wife used to force feed it to our eldest when she was young - the chinese know a few things about natural meds.

Cool thing happend the other day. Here the unemployement help is pretty good (should be for the massive taxes we pay). My work(less) coach rang me and said she had organized a weekly hike in the heather with a dozen or so of her clients my age.

It was a great opportunity to get out even it was pouring rain. The govt sprang for cofees and nice cakes. Best part was just going out and meeting people and of course an opportunity to practice my atrocious dutch LOL.

If you all see me on skype and want to have a text chat please buzz.

- peter

lizwool
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Hi Peter, Thank you for the

Hi Peter,

Thank you for the update. It is good to hear from you!

Will you be taking over the Saturday meetings again?

Respectfully yours,

Liz

Liz Woolley

Clay
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Hi Dark. Have not met you

Hi Dark.

Have not met you yet as I just joined the community yesterday. I wanted to chime in on the deperession though since it has become a central theme in my life.

My first major bout of Depression hit me about 3 years ago. Everything was going well in my life (other than playing online games to excess). I was eating well and getting lots of exercise. I felt like I was doing everything I was supposed to do.

One day I went to take the dog for a walk, which we did very often. I got aobut 300 yards from the house and totally ran out of steam. I couldn't go another step and felt like I was going to have to lay down on the sidewalk for a nap. I turned around and went back to the house. I had no idea Depression could show up so strongly as physical symptoms.

I fought that fog for months (sometimes better sometimes worse) before seeking help. I went through several Psychiatrists but none of the drugs seemed to help. Just about 2 months ago I found a doctor who specialized in people with my types of issues (addictions, compulsions, etc). He was able to put me on some meds that really seem to be working.

Two suggestions (that you probably already know)...

1. Be careful about feeling better. If you found a drug the first try then consider yourself exceptionally lucky. Often Depression is cyclical. Enjoy feeling well, but don't be surprised if it comes back.

2. Find a doctor that specializes in treating people with your types of issues (whatever they may be.)

Just my two cents.

One day at a time...

Clay

"You don't have a problem...you have a solution you don't like!" ~Anonymous

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Hi Dark, I'm glad you are

Hi Dark,

I'm glad you are feeling better - I had the very same meds to treat my last depression about 4 years ago. They worked wonders and thankfully I haven't had to ask for help in that area again. It was about the same time I got into recovery in my other fellowship and started to "get out there".

Strangely enough, when I did, I also started to go out onto the heath, just like you. I find it a very calming and beautiful place to spend my time. I'm even working on getting a job looking after it!

Thanks for the chat earlier - feel free to get in touch anytime I'm online.

Mario
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I take Paxil for some

I take Paxil for some Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder problems. It seems to work well. I was going to off of it, but then I could feel a noticeable increase in my obsessions.

Mario

likeabeast
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I started taking some

I started taking some aminos: GABA and L-glutamine, tyrosine. I was surprized at the difference in my energy levels and anxiety. It also seems to help with the stress.

BlueStone
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Woot for going outside and

Woot for going outside and meeting people! I definetely have to work on the meeting people part myself o.o. Seems to be some pretty good unemployment program you have in the Netherlands and I'm glad it makes you feel better!

Gamer since 1998, last day of MMORPGs Aug 23rd, last day of any computer games Nov 27th 2010.

Mario
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Yes, not playing games makes

Yes, not playing games makes it easier to meet people. It is time that I am not behind a computer monitor.

Mario

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