(GOAL) 50 Days -

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kz8766
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(GOAL) 50 Days -

Some of the progress reports inspired me to start one. These games are getting crazy and I need to quit early before it gets really bad. I'll be updating the post here frequently.

Some of you may've seen my post earlier in the gamers help section, and now I am ready and serious to tackle gaming. Here we go.

DAY 6:

First day of the break & no games. Went walking for a while in the morning, biked, played some chess and watched TV.

DAY 5:

Didn't really have time to post here yesterday for Day 5, which may be a good thing because I was pretty occupied. Got home last day before the break, went biking a bit, watched some TV and spent time with family the night. Now it's the break, and I'm planning on getting a lot of work done.

DAY 4:

Got home, finished homework and watched TV. Planning out some things for the weekend and studying math.

DAY 3:

After getting home watched a lot of TV/netflix mainly, did the homework and relaxed. Had some urges to read up on the game forums but resisted and came here instead. Still planning out my 4 days off to avoid games, it's not gonna be easy but I have to fill up my schedule. Hopefully work will take a whole day, and the other 3 I have to figure out stuff to keep me occupied.

DAY 2:

First official day without games. It wen't pretty good. Went to school, did homework when I got back which consumed most of my time... did some drawing and am now heading out for a martial arts class which will end at around 10PM and I'll finish my drawing project until I sleep at around 10:30. Day 2 is going well so far and I hope I can keep this up.

Day 1:

Got rid of the games, it wasn't easy but whatever. Got some studying in for the day for a test tomorrow. Thinking about what to do without games with the help of the people that posted on my previous thread. Weather is getting better so hopefully I can go biking around. I'm using my computer for work and internet, not games.

Maggie
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Congrats on taking the first

Congrats on taking the first step kz.

It's good to have goals and dreams, but while you're waiting for things to change, waiting for promises to come to pass, don't be discontent with where you are. Learn to enjoy the season that you're in--Pastor Joel Osteen

Ascender
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Congratulations kz, wer're

Congratulations kz, wer're here for you. This first step is the most important part of your journey to a better life.
You may find that coming to some meetings can help alongside reading people's stories and sharing your own, I strongly suggest it. It's helped me immensely.

Take care and be strong!

A wise man once told me to shutup.
\\ Free from games since 03.13.2014 //

May Light
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The first step is the

The first step is the hardest, so congratulations!

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia

benek
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Kz, Really happy to read

Kz,

Really happy to read that you've decided to quit. It is such a good and important decision. Great job!

And I just want to echo and reiterate what others are saying: you DON'T have to do this by yourself, and it's even quite possible that you can't. I can't. I've learned through lots of trial and error that I can't. The #1 best way to tackle this problem is not to do it by yourself. Keep posting in OLGA, and send PMs to people, and come to meetings, and also look for people in your real life that you can turn to for help and support, like a counselor, or a family member that you can trust not to get all control-freak on you. It's ok to want help, and to ask for help, and to receive help; in fact it's wonderful. SO much better than trying to do it all by yourself.

Take care, look forward to reading more updates! Take it one day at a time!

kz8766
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Thanks so much benek and

Thanks so much benek and everyone else for the support. I'll be posting on this thread regularly and will try to attend the meetings. How do the meetings work?

kz8766
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DAY 2:  First official day

DAY 2:

First official day without games. It wen't pretty good. Went to school, did homework when I got back which consumed most of my time... did some drawing and am now heading out for a martial arts class which will end at around 10PM and I'll finish my drawing project until I sleep at around 10:30. Day 2 is going well so far and I hope I can keep this up.

Manque
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Keep going! What kind of

Keep going! What kind of martial arts?

kz8766
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Manque wrote: Keep going!
Manque wrote:

Keep going! What kind of martial arts?

Shaolin Kenpo

bob001
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kz8766 wrote: I hope I can
kz8766 wrote:

I hope I can keep this up.

You definitely can.

No more!

benek
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Good job on day 2 kz, a

Good job on day 2 kz, a game-free day is a good day. I'm glad it's going well for you so far. I remember the first week I quit, I felt like crap. All kinds of withdrawal symptoms. I'm happy to hear that you are focusing on schoolwork, and a really neat evening class as well.

I remember from your story that the weekends are a more difficult time for you not to play. And Easter is right around the corner...I don't know what part of the planet you're on, but there's a good chance a big chunk of vacation time is headed your way. You might find that time harder to fill, and the temptations might feel stronger. I encourage you, if you're thinking about gaming again, to play the tape all the way to the end. Where will that decision lead? Where has it led before? Is it really worth it? I also encourage you, as a last resort, if you catch yourself deciding to game, just come to OLGA instead. Read through the other posts. Watch some videos on recovery, and educate yourself about how addiction works. Knowledge is power. Everything I've learned through OLGA has only empowered my decision to stay off games.

And you know what? If you slip up, and relapse, and play again for a while, you can quit again. You can start recovery again, and ask for help and support as many times as you need. There is no limit.

Now, to answer your question about meetings, there are basically two meetings for excessive gamers every day, one at 9pm EU (Paris) time, and the other at 9pm EST (New York) time. Meetings take place in the chat room, except for one on Sunday, which takes place on Skype. You don't need to do any advance preparation for a meeting; you can just show up. Meetings follow a simple format that is outlined in the on-line meetings forum, which you can find by clicking the Community tab on the OLGA home page. The meeting schedule is posted under the Meetings tab on the homepage as well. Basically, meetings take two forms: either there is open chat, with people sharing what is happening with their addiction and recovery, or there are discussions about one of the recovery principles or traditions of the program. For example, let's say the topic of the day is Honesty. In the meeting, people would talk about how honesty, or lack of honesty, pertains to their addiction, and/or their recovery, or share other thoughts about honesty. Or just share about something else. If there is something you're struggling with in recovery, and you want to get it off your chest, there is always time to do that during a meeting.

I hope this answers your questions, or at least points you in the direction of the answers. Again, great job on following through with this really good and important decision.

kz8766
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Thanks for all the

Thanks for all the information. Yes, I was about to mention that long weekend. Four days off... that is going to be the most hard thing to get through without games. I hope I can keep myself occupied while all my friends are on their computers playing online expecting me to get on. I need to try not to go on though. I'll try not to relapse during the four days off for easter or ever because I need to quit before it's too late. I already consider myself addicted, although I don't play everyday, when I do play... you don't want to know how much (lets just say not a few hours). Thanks again for all the info and my third day post will be on in a few hours.

Manque
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kz8766 wrote: Manque
kz8766 wrote:
Manque wrote:

Keep going! What kind of martial arts?

Shaolin Kenpo

Shaolin sounds Chinese, but Kenpo sounds Japanese. Must be fascinating stuff.

Is it more of a "i'm going to annihilate you!" martial art or more spiritual?

kz8766
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Yeah it's kind of a mixture

Yeah it's kind of a mixture of Japanese and Chinese, with animals like tiger, crane, leopard, snake, dragon involved. As for purpose, it basically teaches defensive combat, how to deal with the opponent who attacks first, etc. I'd say the style is mainly Chinese though.

anyways:

DAY 3:

After getting home watched a lot of TV/netflix mainly, did the homework and relaxed. Had some urges to read up on the game forums but resisted and came here instead. Still planning out my 4 days off to avoid games, it's not gonna be easy but I have to fill up my schedule. Hopefully work will take a whole day, and the other 3 I have to figure out stuff to keep me occupied.

benek
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Hi again kz, Very good job

Hi again kz,

Very good job on Day 3. Keeping up with your schoolwork is a big priority. Much better for you than click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click...

TV and movies are fine. Generally speaking, in the long-term, off-screen time is better than on-screen time, but early on in your recovery, all that matters is that you're not gaming. Just do what you need to do, not to game.

Are you noticing any of the common withdrawal symptoms, like anxiety, or depression, or boredom, or exhaustion? If so, I'd like you to feel free to share any all of those. It doesn't always have to be good news :) If you're having a hard time, this is one place you can talk about it with total honesty, and not worry about being judged for it.

About the vacation: isn't it funny that normally, people look forward to a lot of free time? But if you're recovering from an addiction, it's scary. How can I get through all of that time? And it's so tempting, so so tempting, just to do what you really want, which is to game. That's why I suggested, play that tape to the end. Consider how making that decision, over and over again, has impacted your life.

One thing I'd suggest is, every day, right when you wake up, tell yourself, I'm not going to game today. Just today. One day at a time. Don't worry about the whole vacation too much, if you can help it. The addict-brain actually wants you to worry a lot about it, and get overwhelmed, and have all kinds of negative feelings...it's a golden opportunity for him to make it all better! Just one day at a time, don't game.

But yeah, on the other hand, it's really good to recognise upcoming triggers, and plan ahead. Take another look at that list I wrote in the other thread, or the many lists that exist on this website, of suggestions of what else to do. There's a whole world out there of positive things to do. If you can work a few, or a couple, or even just one of those suggestions into your vacation plans, when it's over, you'll feel glad that you did, instead of gaming. Maybe make a list of alternative things to do, and keep it right there next to your computer, or even make it your wallpaper.

One more thing: when I was gaming, but I did something positive in my life in spite of the addiction, I would immediately reward myself -- with a game. Not a good idea. Now I'm trying to reward myself with recovery. Not the same high, not the same rush, but so much better for my life.

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Thanks for sharing. Keep

Thanks for sharing. Keep coming back.

kz8766
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Thanks for the advice benek.

Thanks for the advice benek. I haven't been experiencing much side effects, maybe a bit of sadness, wouldn't call it depression. Like a lot of people around me are talking about the crazy gaming they had last night, etc. and it made me sad to feel not part of it and to not be with them to make that connection.. that's about it. I've been occupying myself with homework and TV (will reduce TV soon, not getting addicted to that lol). I'll make sure to have my plan ready for the 4 day off prior to the start of it.

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kz8766 wrote: Thanks for
kz8766 wrote:

Thanks for the advice benek. I haven't been experiencing much side effects, maybe a bit of sadness, wouldn't call it depression. Like a lot of people around me are talking about the crazy gaming they had last night, etc. and it made me sad to feel not part of it and to not be with them to make that connection.. that's about it. I've been occupying myself with homework and TV (will reduce TV soon, not getting addicted to that lol). I'll make sure to have my plan ready for the 4 day off prior to the start of it.

kz, seems like you are doing wonderful. Please keep going. The planning idea sounds wonderful. Maybe you can have one big goal that you want to accomplish in those 4 days, and then set daily goals too and review at the end of the day. (*Go for a run everyday or something). On my first 13,14 days of going clean, I found it immensely helpful to come to OLGA everyday and post.

Ugh, i know what you mean. I now detest peers who talk about videogaming in front of me. I just respond kinda casually like "uh huh, wow, cool" but they know I'm not listening. Have you told your peers that you are on this quest to stop videogaming? That has helped for me perosnally.

benek
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Hey kz, Congrats on day 4.

Hey kz,

Congrats on day 4. You're doing great.

I get that it's been fun gaming with your friends, and when they talk about the good time they're still having, you feel like you're missing out. It's normal to feel sad about that.

In time, after being away from games for a while, when your life is moving in a new and exciting direction, you will probably still feel sad when you hear your friends talk about games...but for a different reason. You will feel sad that people you like and care about are wasting their lives on something meaningless. And then, a few minutes later, you won't feel sad anymore, because your mind will have moved on to one of the positive things in your own life.

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Keep going Kz...my bet is on

Keep going Kz...my bet is on you .

It's good to have goals and dreams, but while you're waiting for things to change, waiting for promises to come to pass, don't be discontent with where you are. Learn to enjoy the season that you're in--Pastor Joel Osteen

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