So hello OLGA & OLG-Anon community,
New member here. I wanna share my experience. This is gonna be a long post. I want to start with some personal information of my background and then try to conclude the post in a way that will help the gamers.
I am currently living in Turkey studying engineering at one of the top universities in here. I am a sophomore currently but already an irregular (for those who do not know what it is, you basically "fall behind" or "move faster" than your set schedule. In my case I am falling behind by one semester and maybe one year). Things are not at its best hands-down. But how on earth did I come up to this point?
I want you to take you back where it all started (no not the Big Bang). I was introduced to the games when I was two (Yeah 2) years old by my dad. My mother curses that day whenever she has the chance :). Anyways games kinda tempted me but I was tempted mostly by the bloodthirsty competitive ones where you can bolster your ego haha. I recall the days back when I was in elementary school and do nothing but hours of hours of gaming. I was one of the best students darn but I had my weakness. I remember explicitly calling my parents and crying for not having done a single thing for my upcoming exam instead playing games. Since I was a kid and all that, they would sooth me down and buck me up. And to tell the truth, I was big fat of a lying motherf... where I simply wanted to feel good. I had my other interests as well like reading books, playing tennis/football and being a social guy -not just in the games but I am the guy who you call up and ask to organize a party or a soccer match-. I did not stop to game in high school but I graduated really successfully if you ask me. I did both our national program and IB with a really good GPA which was above 80s.
Now I can overtly observe the reason behind, apart from being a heavy gamer, I could be successful and carry on. The reason was quite simple. When my parents were around, I was restricted. They knew I could not do it myself seeing me playing +16 hours a day in weekend. Surprising enough, they did a smart thing. They did not take it all away from me like most of the parents see as a solution. Instead they kept me under control. They knew that my temptation and addiction was not greater than the respect that I had for my family. So this really worked. Nonetheless, this had side effects. I ended up being dependent to my parents. I can see this now I am finally away from them (different cities) and this is my first long split. Up to this day, it's been 1.5 years and still counting. I get to see them time to time though. However this does not change the fact that I rule my life not them anymore.My point is there is no restriction. There is no control and there is no obedience. I am no longer a kiddo now. I can do whatever the heck I want. From the point that I left home and got a new one I only played League of Legends. And sadly this was not what I wanted, what I planned.
Frankly this is **** hard. Not in any part in my life, I felt this much depressed, down and in agony (maybe in high school where I got in love and sh** myself every second that I breathed haha). I was literally tormenting myself. I cannot remember how many times at night I called up my girl friend and cried out loud. Oh dear what would I do if she was not THERE. She was not near me or anything but I could feel her. Love is what you hold onto sometimes. People say you cannot see love. Hell you can't. I held onto that. I really did.
I came to realize a person is happiest when he gets his mind done and this starts with the everyday works like school or work. If you love your work and you are successful at it. You are 99% a happy man/woman (no discrimination against woman here :) ). Carrying on with this simple deduction, since I suck at my department, I am sad. Of course there may be loads of stuff contributing, but if the dough of a cake is bad, no matter which Swiss chocolate you use, you will have a putrid cake.
The problem is to mark yourself: where do you belong? I have tones of friends who can manage their hours and still be a good student. I always felt like I can be a good student chasing my dreams, seeking for the solutions, spending hours in the library reading and studying and plus a lil'(? nobody believed in that but me) bit of gaming. I could be like them, couldn't I? None of my those non-addict friends, understood me. How could they? I mean they can manage but I can't. Boy didn't I feel stupid.
Just before I got an account here, I read lizwool's post here: http://olganon.org/?q=node/27592
When I started reading through and answering questions, I went: "Darn. I am an addict."
It is like a positive feedback where you play more in order to run away from your sadness, dissatisfaction and in the end you get even more sadder and dissatisfied. In this sense I really love the definition of Addiction defined by American Society: "Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry.Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. " So if there are some heavy gamers out there reading my post up to this bit. It is never late. I stopped gaming 3 days ago and I am sober. I am not going to go back to gaming because I know it is my nemesis. I removed all of the games from my computer and I deleted the history of my web browser - I mainly surfed about the game info-.
I mean man think about it. You should feel lucky that you understand you waste your time and you wanna put an end to that. If you are a gaming addict, you are probably gaming more than 10 hours a day and 60 hours a week. You need something that replaces your gaming time. That's what I did. The best tip that you can walk away from this drip of internet is that do whatever you like EXCEPT Gaming in that time. You have like 60 or 70 hours (oh my god think about this for a second) free time that you can do whatever you want. Do not force yourself to do anything because this will bore you to death and you will soon end up gaming. I myself like to sleep (man wasn't I exhausted), read books (currently reading The Catcher In The Rye haha not the best book to get back in life but still) and practice my guitar and working to get my lazy butt to gym.
Lastly, thank you so much OLGA! I really like you people. By all means I feel sort of united with you and never felt awkward posting this here. I want to take part in one of those Wednesday Skype meetings if I may. My time zone is GMT+2. Again thank you billions.
So long brothers and sisters. Wish you days without games.
"Most valuable things in life is your relationships, the places you have been and the experiences you have had."
Steve "Lips" Kudlow
Anvil the Story of Anvil