I am: Here is my story

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I am
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I am: Here is my story

So hello OLGA & OLG-Anon community,

New member here. I wanna share my experience. This is gonna be a long post. I want to start with some personal information of my background and then try to conclude the post in a way that will help the gamers.

I AM:

I am currently living in Turkey studying engineering at one of the top universities in here. I am a sophomore currently but already an irregular (for those who do not know what it is, you basically "fall behind" or "move faster" than your set schedule. In my case I am falling behind by one semester and maybe one year). Things are not at its best hands-down. But how on earth did I come up to this point?

I want you to take you back where it all started (no not the Big Bang). I was introduced to the games when I was two (Yeah 2) years old by my dad. My mother curses that day whenever she has the chance :). Anyways games kinda tempted me but I was tempted mostly by the bloodthirsty competitive ones where you can bolster your ego haha. I recall the days back when I was in elementary school and do nothing but hours of hours of gaming. I was one of the best students darn but I had my weakness. I remember explicitly calling my parents and crying for not having done a single thing for my upcoming exam instead playing games. Since I was a kid and all that, they would sooth me down and buck me up. And to tell the truth, I was big fat of a lying motherf... where I simply wanted to feel good. I had my other interests as well like reading books, playing tennis/football and being a social guy -not just in the games but I am the guy who you call up and ask to organize a party or a soccer match-. I did not stop to game in high school but I graduated really successfully if you ask me. I did both our national program and IB with a really good GPA which was above 80s.

Now I can overtly observe the reason behind, apart from being a heavy gamer, I could be successful and carry on. The reason was quite simple. When my parents were around, I was restricted. They knew I could not do it myself seeing me playing +16 hours a day in weekend. Surprising enough, they did a smart thing. They did not take it all away from me like most of the parents see as a solution. Instead they kept me under control. They knew that my temptation and addiction was not greater than the respect that I had for my family. So this really worked. Nonetheless, this had side effects. I ended up being dependent to my parents. I can see this now I am finally away from them (different cities) and this is my first long split. Up to this day, it's been 1.5 years and still counting. I get to see them time to time though. However this does not change the fact that I rule my life not them anymore.My point is there is no restriction. There is no control and there is no obedience. I am no longer a kiddo now. I can do whatever the heck I want. From the point that I left home and got a new one I only played League of Legends. And sadly this was not what I wanted, what I planned.

Frankly this is **** hard. Not in any part in my life, I felt this much depressed, down and in agony (maybe in high school where I got in love and sh** myself every second that I breathed haha). I was literally tormenting myself. I cannot remember how many times at night I called up my girl friend and cried out loud. Oh dear what would I do if she was not THERE. She was not near me or anything but I could feel her. Love is what you hold onto sometimes. People say you cannot see love. Hell you can't. I held onto that. I really did.

I came to realize a person is happiest when he gets his mind done and this starts with the everyday works like school or work. If you love your work and you are successful at it. You are 99% a happy man/woman (no discrimination against woman here :) ). Carrying on with this simple deduction, since I suck at my department, I am sad. Of course there may be loads of stuff contributing, but if the dough of a cake is bad, no matter which Swiss chocolate you use, you will have a putrid cake.

The problem is to mark yourself: where do you belong? I have tones of friends who can manage their hours and still be a good student. I always felt like I can be a good student chasing my dreams, seeking for the solutions, spending hours in the library reading and studying and plus a lil'(? nobody believed in that but me) bit of gaming. I could be like them, couldn't I? None of my those non-addict friends, understood me. How could they? I mean they can manage but I can't. Boy didn't I feel stupid.

Just before I got an account here, I read lizwool's post here: http://olganon.org/?q=node/27592

When I started reading through and answering questions, I went: "Darn. I am an addict."

It is like a positive feedback where you play more in order to run away from your sadness, dissatisfaction and in the end you get even more sadder and dissatisfied. In this sense I really love the definition of Addiction defined by American Society: "Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry.Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. " So if there are some heavy gamers out there reading my post up to this bit. It is never late. I stopped gaming 3 days ago and I am sober. I am not going to go back to gaming because I know it is my nemesis. I removed all of the games from my computer and I deleted the history of my web browser - I mainly surfed about the game info-.

I mean man think about it. You should feel lucky that you understand you waste your time and you wanna put an end to that. If you are a gaming addict, you are probably gaming more than 10 hours a day and 60 hours a week. You need something that replaces your gaming time. That's what I did. The best tip that you can walk away from this drip of internet is that do whatever you like EXCEPT Gaming in that time. You have like 60 or 70 hours (oh my god think about this for a second) free time that you can do whatever you want. Do not force yourself to do anything because this will bore you to death and you will soon end up gaming. I myself like to sleep (man wasn't I exhausted), read books (currently reading The Catcher In The Rye haha not the best book to get back in life but still) and practice my guitar and working to get my lazy butt to gym.

Lastly, thank you so much OLGA! I really like you people. By all means I feel sort of united with you and never felt awkward posting this here. I want to take part in one of those Wednesday Skype meetings if I may. My time zone is GMT+2. Again thank you billions.

So long brothers and sisters. Wish you days without games.

"Most valuable things in life is your relationships, the places you have been and the experiences you have had."
Steve "Lips" Kudlow
Anvil the Story of Anvil

Tommi
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Joined: 09/13/2012 - 7:39am
Dear I am, Welcome. Please

Dear I am,

Welcome. Please make a point of attending the Wed and Saturday Skype meetings. Since it is not possible for us to attend evening meetings in Amerca, we will appreciate your support for the meetings in our time zones.

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

I am
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Joined: 12/15/2013 - 1:58am
Dear Tommi, Thank you so

Dear Tommi,

Thank you so much for your reply. I am really looking forward to it. I checked the meeting that is scheduled today and saw that you are the chairman.

I got a question though. How do I "attend" those meetings? As far as I know, in order to start a skype call with someone, you need to have him in your contacts list. Regarding this, how can I add you? I can give you mine. My skype nickname is jacquamous. If this is how it works.
PS: there are billions of tommi :/

"Most valuable things in life is your relationships, the places you have been and the experiences you have had."
Steve "Lips" Kudlow
Anvil the Story of Anvil

May Light
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Joined: 07/23/2013 - 4:02am
Welcome to OLGA I am! I

Welcome to OLGA I am! I would have liked to write longer but I am very busy lately with overseas visitors staying with us and Xmas around the corner. But I just want to say how pleased I am for you that you decided to quit and deleted all the games on your PC. Acknowledging your problem and taking actions like that are really important steps. So, I congratulate you for that.

My son (who is also 20) uninstalled his game of choice (Leagues of Legends) a few times in the past but after a few days or sometimes weeks he installed back again. What really helped him to stay away from the games for nearly 2 and a half months already is that he finally sold his gaming laptop and his game account. Therefore all the temptations are removed. He has decided to do that after we discovered OLGA. He now shares my spare laptop which has no games whatsoever on it and we also have limited internet time at home only to do essential work. Internet is no longer a source of entertainment but a tool to do what we need to do. I don't know how things will progress in the future but he has never been away from the games and the internet for that long before ever since his excessive gaming started.

I just wanted to share some of our story with you to give you something to think about. I hope you can join the chat meeting here. OLGA community is very understanding and helpful. There is a lot of wisdom and knowledge shared here. Hope you stick around. Good luck and take care!

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia

Tommi
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http://olganon.org/?q=node/41

http://olganon.org/?q=node/41857

I am wrote:

Dear Tommi,

Thank you so much for your reply. I am really looking forward to it. I checked the meeting that is scheduled today and saw that you are the chairman.

I got a question though. How do I "attend" those meetings? As far as I know, in order to start a skype call with someone, you need to have him in your contacts list. Regarding this, how can I add you? I can give you mine. My skype nickname is jacquamous. If this is how it works.
PS: there are billions of tommi :/

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

I am
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Joined: 12/15/2013 - 1:58am
Thanks for the response

Thanks for the response Tommi. I did not see it within the forum sorry.

Dear May Light,

No. The pleasure is mine for sure! I am extremely happy that you wrote a response and that is all I could ask for.

Really glad that your son has recovered. While reading through your son's story, I could relate back so much stuff. The problem with me though, I did not have any parents around. I talked them about the problem but they did not quite understand me and kind of underestimated the significance ( sure they helped me and all that, but they thought the problem just vanished and remarkably it did not. I went back to gaming and retired like a bouncing ball until this time haha ).

I did not change my password or sell my account. At the moment I can not care less to be honest. I of course find myself somehow in hardship but I am dedicated this time. I am not gonna go back because I used to "keep myself busy" but now it transitioned into "having loads of stuff to do". As I mentioned, I read a book(almost finished), go to gym and come in here in order to gain the morale and fuel I need.

I am feeling great at the moment. Thank you for your whole-hearted response. I feel the care, sympathy and understanding you have and I really appreciate it with my heart.

I hope you a merry Xmas.

Cheers from Turkey

"Most valuable things in life is your relationships, the places you have been and the experiences you have had."
Steve "Lips" Kudlow
Anvil the Story of Anvil

Maggie
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Joined: 08/26/2013 - 6:59pm
Welcome I am! I am glad you

Welcome I am! I am glad you found us. I hope to see you around. Recovery is a long journey, so make yourself comfortable. Olga meeting was essential in my early recovery, and I rarely missed any in the 30 days. I also created a personal blog to share what has helped in my recovery, and I hope you will find it helpful.

http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/41941

Hugs,

Maggie

It's good to have goals and dreams, but while you're waiting for things to change, waiting for promises to come to pass, don't be discontent with where you are. Learn to enjoy the season that you're in--Pastor Joel Osteen

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