intro - losing momentum

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ShadeOfKinbote
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Last seen: 6 years 7 months ago
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Joined: 06/09/2014 - 9:20am
intro - losing momentum

Hello olgans,

This is my first time posting here and I would like to start off by sharing a little bit about my struggle against gaming. I have been an enthralled gamer for a little less than half of my lifespan and I am looking to reduce that ratio. The time spent on the habit has returned few benefits and has facilitated social withdrawal, complacency, procrastination and ultimately depression.

I was able to quit MMOs in college but that made little difference when other games filled in. I managed to scrape through the schoolwork and did reasonably well but other than that, I was paying top dollar to sit in a dorm room playing games. Following graduation I was somewhat of a lazy pos and wasn't able to get a job and ended up living at home with my family. I had expected much more of myself and the situation I was in really got me down. The grief did nothing to motivate me, only making the situation worse. I managed to find a part time consulting project that I would hardly consider a stable job. I was working from home and, due to my habits, not making very good progress.

As April came to a close I was so disgusted with my gaming habit and I decided that I had to change. I am very proud to say that I did not spend a single minute playing video games during the month of May, continuing to this day. During this time I was able to make great progress on my project, ramp up my exercise habits, and find a nice job(I start this week)!

That said, I still feel like I am a long ways from living a balanced life and my drive to abstain from gaming is waning. I was motivated at first by self-disgust, and then later on by the allure of a new job and a new life. Those two motivations have died down and I find myself thinking(and dreaming) about gaming a lot more. Also, I have not been able to significantly increase time spent on hobbies or socializing. I spend most of my time working the project and when I take breaks I go for long aimless walks, run/lift, or indulge my other bad habits. These have all seen an increase since May and comprise internet/smartphone/tv, eating fatty foods, and drinking among other things.

I am afraid that I will slip back into gaming once I start my new job. I think that it will be difficult for the first few months and that games will stay in the front of my mind as an attractive way to relieve stress. I am still committed to abstinance, odaat and all that, and I want to be more active in this community. I will need to continue to make changes by filling in the hobbies and social activies. I am so happy to have made it this far and I hope that I can continue my progress. Thank you for reading my post!

Silvertabby
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Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
Hi Shade and welcome to

Hi Shade and welcome to Olga. Congratulations on being game free since the first of May. That's a great start. As you are probably realizing, it's not so much the quitting gaming that is the greatest battle, but the staying quit. It's not something we can do alone. And that's where this community comes in. We are all in the same place as you, trying to remake our lives after quitting gaming. What we have found, is that when we work together, supporting and encouraging each other, it helps us. We do that by reading posts, posting how we are doing, replying to other's posts to encourage them, and by attending meetings. It all helps. It also gives us accountability, so it's not so easy to go back to the games. I hope you will stick around and use the resources here. Good luck to you.

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

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