[Update is in newest post.] It's been a week, with two minor setbacks, since I first realized I was addicted to facebook, and logged off. I'm so thankful. It started last Tuesday morning--I just thought, "I need to stay off facebook for the next hour, just so I can get breakfast done, and a crockpot ready for dinner before the pregnancy sickness kicks in."
I started having rapid heartbeats, shallow breathing, and a huge rush of anxiety. An HOUR??? Off of FACEBOOK?? That should NOT make the fight-or-flight response kick in!!!! In that moment, I realized I'd gone beyond overuse into addiction, and I had to stop.
Now, even though I'm sick, I've been reading books, writing, and using my not-feeling-sick time to do things I enjoy. It's HARD as HELL. I had no idea I was avoiding so much pain in my life. I had no idea that I didn't really have good coping skills for life. Heck, I thought I was doing pretty well.
I just took a nap (cause my almost-two-year-old has slept almost THREE HOURS! YAAAAY!) and woke up with a song in my head. This is huge for me, because I realized I'd started *thinking* in the space of "status updates." Even my thought life had become a vessel for quirky 2-line zingers that would make me giggle. I felt so good knowing that my mind was healing, and that I'd be able to think more clearly soon.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that, one day at a time, I'm sober. Thank you so much for having this site and for being there.