Loneliness is an eyesore

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Tristan53addict
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Loneliness is an eyesore

Two and a half weeks and I'm crumbling.

My strong urge to reinstall has been going on for almost 24 hours now.

I miss the interaction and am thinking that it is primarily loneliness which leads me back there.

I've lived with my partner for years in a loveless relationship. I have a daughter and I do everything alone, or alone with my daughter. Partner is either on shift work, on his pc, drinking or sleeping. I do have adult company at work and have adult family and some friends, but I've never been an overly sociable person and am quite happy in my own company. I think the loneliness is in my heart.

People say I am an intelligent and attractive lady but every day that goes by, I feel my life slipping away and my chances of finding someone to fill that space in my heart. I am in effect a single parent although I have a partner. I'm not putting blame on him, and I know happiness should come from within and you don't need a man to make you happy etc but I wish I had someone close to me.

Yesterday I went walking with my friend on the moors. That filled the day and I was proud. Last night I envisaged coming home and perhaps watching a film with my partner (I don't usually do films or tv - but it's to break the habit of gaming and us just being in seperate rooms all the time). After dinner at 8.30pm he was too tired after nightshifts to stay awake so bang - I was alone in my home again.

I wanted to reinstall really badly and I know deep down the game isn't that enjoyable - it's more like a glorified chat now. So I'm sure he root of my addiction to this game is the social interaction I have with others. And why do I need this? Because I am lonely - really lonely. And I feel so much self pity right now over being a lonely game addict it's unreal!

I am never lonely when I play. So much so - that this ironically led me to quit the game - as real life relationships lost their spark and I couldn't wait to get away from people & back to my online ones. I could sense that this wasnt right.

Anyway - this realisation and having a place to vent it has helped thank you.

Koc addict

Gettingalife
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Hugs, Tristan! This is

Hugs, Tristan! This is tough, I know. How well I know. Best suggestion I have is to approach the loneliness in a zen sort of way - acknowledge it, as you have here, and just entertain the idea of accepting it? Acceptance sounds very lame initially when we face what makes us uncomfortable, but, in my experience, just the thought that I might accept the discomfort rather than be upset by it somehow takes the sting out and frees me up to change what I can and not be bothered by what I can't. Hope this doesn't sound trite because it's really helped me. Again a big hug.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

Tommi
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Hi Tristan, Courage! Here is

Hi Tristan,

Courage! Here is a bit of truth which might help.

The insidious thing about gaming and socialization is that gaming is too easy... For all but a few of us making real life social connections does not come easy or naturally.

What happens when you go ingame to get the stimulus you need as a human, it actually reinforces your social isolation. So that after a period of time, your real life connections, instinct, and most importantly your will, withers.

Imagine if you had been confined to bed for years. Would you be able to get up and walk? Not likely. You would have to train yourself. Your despair IMO is like how you would feel if you fell on your behind after years in bed.

Sad to say you must start from scratch. Keep an open mind to things you have never tried before. If you look around your community you will surely find ways to connect, be they clubs, school groups, exercise classes, churches, volunteer work, joining a church, the list in endless. Try looking up meetup.com

I cannot promise it will be easy. But if you are determined and make the effort it will get better!

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

Tristan53addict
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Last seen: 10 years 8 months ago
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Thank you for your replies.

Thank you for your replies. They are very helpful and I appreciate them so much right now.

Koc addict

braden
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Hi Tristan, I read your

Hi Tristan,

I read your post, and I feel like I can relate.

Because gaming addiction stripped me of most of my real-life friendships, when I left began leaving gaming (it's been a year-long process) I sometimes felt that I could survive without playing League of Legends, but I couldn't take the loneliness.

I have a partner, but we are in different cities and sometimes we are fighting so it doesn't always help either.

The good news though, is that after working at my current (newer) job for 3 months, I have just FINALLY got my first invite to do something with a few other male co workers (after a long dead spell of no social life). I thought it would never happen. I thought I would never get invited to do anything. I thought I was just going to be stranded most weekends, alone, without videogames to cope, just reading books by myself and doing homework, but luckily it didn't turn out that way.

Keep your head up and the opportunity for new companionship should find you! It's only a matter of time! ^_^

sincerely,

braden

Marceline
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*hugs* Tristan! I felt the

*hugs* Tristan!

I felt the same way, about my friends in gaming.. Sadly, though I swore I'd keep in touch with a few of them, after a while I found that we really didn't have a ton to talk about anymore after I left, and we kind of drifted apart. Finding new friends or reconnecting with old RL ones has been the part of my recovery that is taking the longest (I am still working on it, a year later), but it does happen!! With your new game-free time, you can try doing things that you wouldn't normally do, and see if you meet anyone interesting. I met some people by signing up for groups and events on the Meetup website.. it took me a few events, but I found some really cool people who I click with now :) And even if you don't make new friends right away, it at least gets you out of the house doing something!

"A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears." ~Michel de Montaigne

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