** my 100 day **

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solace32
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** my 100 day **

Inspired by fellow OLGAers, I want to start a progress report of some sort too to hold myself accountable for a period of time. The rule I have for myself is that I won't be touching any games period no matter the platform (PC/iOS/Console). I can't honestly recall the last time I have gone for 30 days without gaming, and I hope that this time i can stay game free long enough for the brain to "reset". I also have depression, which I suspect is caused by the stress I go through every day and the social isolation I put myself under during years of excessive gaming. My original story is here <http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/45568>. Since I joined OLGA, I've relapsed ... probably 10 times already if I'd count the iOS games I have on my phone. The realization that I am utterly hopeless on my own is the reason why I am starting this thread. A conflict prevents me from joining most of the 9pm meetings on week days, so I resort to this thread to stay connected hopefully in some way. Okay 1.2.3. here we go.

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Day 1

I succeeded the first day. Deleted all the gaming apps I have on my phone and iPad - total 6 of them. A month ago I closed the account for a MMORPG game which I spent over $500 on over the span of just 2 months and was playing 8 hours a day M-F. Though I have not gone back to that game since, I've substituted the greater evil with a series of lesser evils, if you will, in the form of iOS games and wasted a ton of time on them.

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Day 2

Today went by really fast. I didn't think about games at all. Instead I focused my mind on work. When I got home I had the urge to play a game but I managed to talk myself out of it. I went back to the office and did more work. It's better being a workaholic than playing games.

###

Day 3

I made it to the third day. no gaming. wow it's a little hard to believe. I am also hardly home so that I won't be exposed to all the gaming devices. At work I'm safe because all of my network activity is tracked by IT. and there's just no way I could browse gaming sites without them knowing. One thing I've improved on is my ability to concentrate better. No more strategizing about games in my head, or sneaking on to gaming sites using my phone. In fact I didn't think about the games much at all during the day. When I do become vulnerable is when I come home after work. I live alone and it's just too easy to find comforts in old habits after a stressful day and there isn't another person around to tell me no. I figure that my best bet is just to avoid coming home immediately after work. So today I tried a meetup group in the evening. Though it wasn't quite as social as I'd hoped, I am just glad of the distraction I got that kept me away from gaming for another day!

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Day 4

Today wasn't a good day. I was feeling depressed. Work was very stressful, and then when I came home only to find out that my gas had been shut off, then learned about what happened on the news. The world is so ugly and I am angry at whoever is behind this atrocity. my hope for humantity is diminishing. I just watched news, browsed Internet, replied emails, depressed and didn't have any appitite. No games. I'm going to bed and just hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

###

Day 6

I continued staying away from games. The craving was there. In fact I logged back into the MMORPG game once yesterday using an alternative account. It was nastalgic when I heard the music. I checked out my online friends and their status and noticed their characters all had gotten more powerful. New weapons/toons were added. But the mechanics of the game never changed. The same repetitive tasks occurring every couple of hours apart each day, the exponentially increasing difficulty to level up, the loop (how the game designers would call it.) The same people remained on the top of the leader boards because they are big-time cahsers and I can see how it must be hard for them to leave the game after they have invested so much $ and time in it and have become "so good". Clicking through the menus brought back that feeling again, the feeling like I was getting trapped in a cage. Like I was a lab rat in some kind of experiment. I quickly exited the game. Nope, I won't ever go back there again. It didn't make me feel good. When I quitted that game a month ago, I decided I am better than a lab rat and I won't let them run this sort of experiment on me. I'm glad I am able to check my curiosity quickly.

###

Day 7

It's been a week! Ooohoo! Today is in general a pretty good day. I did some errands and hanged out with a friend whom I hadn't seen for a while. Also excitement is mounting in me as the days are counting down till I can pick up my new puppy. Definitely am not thinking about the games. :)

May Light
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Great news solace32! One day

Great news solace32! One day at a time.. Good luck!

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia

Andrew_Doan
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AWESOME! Moving forward!

AWESOME! Moving forward!

Andrew P. Doan, MPH, MD, PhD

My Gaming Addiction Videos on YouTube: YouTube.com/@DrAndrewDoan

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy, DHA or Department of Defense.

solace32
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Thank you May Light, Andrew!

Thank you May Light, Andrew! I'll try hard to keep this up.

abdallah326
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Keep going , im so excited

Keep going , im so excited to read ur progress i dont know why :p

Good Luck

Game free since 10th July 2014
You Can Do It :)

ChrisMix26
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Solace, that's awesome!  I

Solace, that's awesome! I had to do that, too, in the beginning... trading the addictive quality which craved games and turned them toward an endless pile of nursing books. It's just a lot more productive. Keep us posted on your progress, or else Andrew's going to send an e-mail!

It's time to make up for lost time!

Game free since May 20, 2013.

Gettingalife
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Good going, Solace! Please

Good going, Solace! Please do keep us updated.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

solace32
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Thank you abdallah, ChrisMix

Thank you abdallah, ChrisMix and Gettingalife! Your comments didn't go unoticed of course and I really appreciate your encouragment. Some nights I find it hard to have the motivation to come up here and update as my life currently just seems so monotonous and boring; however I know keeping this thread is working for me. I have talked myself out of redownloading the iOS games several times because a voice in my head was saying don't disappoint yourself and others when you go update the thread tonight.

MammaTam
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Hi Solace, I'm so glad your

Hi Solace,

I'm so glad your doing this regular posting. I know that havign situations to keep me accountable has helped me stay game free. It's hard at first, but quitting gaming is worth it. come to meetings, find a f2f meeting in your area and keep coming back. You're worth it.

hugs Tam

"It has become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity"
Albert Einstein.

abdallah326
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why dont u uninstall the

why dont u uninstall the game

dont give your mind a chance to remember the escape from the real world

Game free since 10th July 2014
You Can Do It :)

kyunga1214
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solace, go go go!! I'm

solace, go go go!! I'm rooting for you. I used to suffer from depression too so perhaps it's all very closely linked. Whether it started from depression to video-game addiction, or it started from video-games into depression, I don't really know but there's some connection there (I know some depressed friends and they tend to be pretty deep into video games as well ... perhaps it's their coping mechanism).

Let's do this one day at a time. You can do it!! Having a community behind us definitely helps. I will make sure to check on your progress often.

solace32
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Hi abdallah, thanks for your

Hi abdallah, thanks for your comment. Unfortunately it's a web browser-based game, and the only way I can get rid of it is by disabling log-in. Like other websites (Facebook for instance) they made it nearly impossible to delete your account. I blocked the game site and deactivated the Facebook account associated with the game finally. Yes there's no going back.

solace32
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Thanks MammaTam! I'm going

Thanks MammaTam! I'm going to look into some face2face opportunities in the area where I live. I'm so grateful for the online community though to help me come out of my shell. Otherwise I don't think I'd have the courage to go to a F2F setting.

solace32
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Hi Kyunga yes I totally

Hi Kyunga yes I totally agree. It's hard to tell for me which started first, depression or gaming addiction. But having both definitely made it a fast downward spiral. Both fonts need to be worked on. You've listed in your post the exact same things that I'm working on to combat both depression and gaming addiction: exercise and socialization. Let's work on this together!

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