My first day away from the addiction.

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showard
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Joined: 04/11/2013 - 11:56am
My first day away from the addiction.

I am addicted to video games and pornography. My girlfriend told me this 6 months ago, and I agreed that I had a problem, however, I have not done anything to stop it until today. It was affecting my behaviour and communication with my GF. It made me feel like I could do anything by myself, as long as I had the pictures and videos.

I took all my video games, and threw them in a box. My girlfriend wants to keep the PS3, for DVDs, which we do have a collection of. I just want the thing gone. I deleted my collection of pornography.

I just came across this talk on TED, http://www.ted.com/talks/zimchallenge.html it really brings to light about guys in our society which states: "Video game and porn addictions are different. They are "arousal addictions," where the attraction is in the novelty, the variety or the surprise factor of the content."

I used to game four hours a day, with two hours of online pornography use. I was looking for this time of arousal effect. My girlfriend pointed this out more and more, and I finally did something about it. One of my friends also noticed that I had a problem, and commented on it a little while ago, which has been stuck in my head for sometime now.

I kicked the habit about two years ago with the help of joining the Latter-Day Saints which I love so much. Once I got back into school for a Masters, I slowly fell back into my old habits. I lost a lot of money and my self-esteem and values were also affected and lost in the end.

From now on, I just need to think about managing my emotions and behaviours and make sure the withdrawl symptoms don't affect me too much. It's tough right now even on day 1, with my withdrawal symptoms as:

  • Anger and verbal abuse,
  • A feeling of emptiness
  • Depression
  • Relief
  • A disruption in sleep pattern
  • Fantasies and dreams about the game
  • Uncontrollable feelings or rampant mood swings
  • Anxiety
  • Irritability or restlessness
  • Sadness
  • Loneliness
  • Boredom/inability to find an activity of interest
  • Lack of motivation/direction
  • Nausea
  • Difficulty facing obligations, procrastination
  • Feeling as though a return to gaming will make you feel better
  • Physical illness colds, allergies
  • Restless, unfulfilling, taunting dreams
  • I'll get through this,

    Mr. Green

    SheeshMode
    SheeshMode's picture
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    Last seen: 8 years 9 months ago
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    Joined: 09/20/2012 - 8:01am
    I relate well with this as a

    I relate well with this as a guy who spent his day on the computer shooting monsters and searching porn. Most of my day was spent wondering which I should do more, the porn? Or the videogames? That was my major contention as I sat in front of a computer screen doing nothing except look for stimulation.

    As a recovering addict, I still have problems with selfishness and laziness, hence my bad grades, procrastination and work stress. But at least I am working on my problems and college work today instead of hiding from it.

    Here's some food for thought: the addictions may be different, but what were they trying to solve?

    Hope you read the AA book and welcome to Olga my friend.

    Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to be realistic about the challenge I'm facing and to take good care of myself. If you need help PM me! I will gladly offer you whatever aid I can.

    dan1
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    Last seen: 9 years 2 months ago
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    Joined: 05/04/2012 - 6:42pm
    Welcome to OLGA! I look

    Welcome to OLGA! I look forward to reading your posts about your progress.

    A couple of ways that you can use this site to help you (these are the ways it has helped me):

    1. Come here and read posts and post when you get cravings to game. It can help.

    2. Come to the 9 p.m. EST nightly chat meetings if you can. They are very helpful in early recovery (and later recovery, too, as a number of us can attest).

    3. Phone/skype a friend. You can connect with another person on the site who can serve as a "recovery buddy." It's good for accountability, for support, and for information.

    4. Get a sponsor and work the 12 steps. They work for anyone, regardless of beliefs. I find that this has transformed me, even though I'm not finished yet.

    Best wishes to you. See you at the meeting....

    I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.

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