Not sure if this goes here or not. I will probably be talking about it a lil bit at tonites meeting as well.
Today we had my wifes families christmas party. It had already been a long day cause I worked this morning, and had to drive 2 hrs straight there after work. When I got there everything was almost normal ( wasent exactely feeling well ulcers ). We opened presents, had some usual family tid bits, laughs ya know the normal stuff.
Thats when I saw it......
My wifes lil cousin hoped on his grandmothers ( place where we were ) computer and started playing star wars online. I was fine at first but after about maybe ten minutes I started going a lil nuts.....all i wanted to do was kick him off and play.....
i tried dealing with it for maybe another ten minutes, and wasent going so well. Thats when I stood up and told my wife I had to leave. I had been telling her what I was feeling and she said she understood. I grabbed a couple things and just left without really syaing good bye to people. My ab was just going nuts.
Its about a hr drive home from there and i ended up crying atleast half way and had to pull over twice cause I couldnt see really well. When I got home took a nice warm shower held my dogs ( well one at at time there big dogs ) and jsut layed in bed for a while. When my wife got home we talked a bit about what had happened and she bacially and literally told me she was proud of me for not letting it get me, for not relapsing.
This was by far the hardest thing I have had to deal with so far. I am glad I could control it ( kinda ) it gives me hope.
Thanks for reading :)