I am 10 days free of gaming.
I'm still struggling to get my life in place. When I quit gaming, I jump to food and tv. I have to many bad habits and its hard to quit them all.
Today, I order a game system and multiple games, even though I don't have much in my bank account. I told myself I just gonna play again. I researched on which system and games to buy for 3 hours. When I submitted the order, I decided to redownload the games on my phone.
That's when I started to feel really guilty. I was willing to spent most of my money to throw away my commitment for a gaming-free lifestyle. I get it. Sometimes, I feel as ease. I felt free from gaming. However, usually when I'm on the computer I feel that there's not much difference between thee non-gaming and gaming lifestyle.
Lucky, I was able to cancel my order. However, I am shaking right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I quitted games, but I need to quit tv and fix my diet now. What other bad habits going to take control next? I'm tired of the struggle with addictions. I'm glad I don't like drinking alcohol alone or I might be an alcoholic. I also have a no gambling policy, because I'm afraid I might be hook on that too.
It feels like once I quit a habit, I go looking for another one. (In my cases, it is alway a bad habit). I'm afraid of my addictive lifestyle and I'm tired of struggling to change it.
I'm glad to say I'm still 10 days free, but I don't know how long I can last.
Thanks for reading.