I created an account because I would like to share my feelings and to hear other people's opinions on my video game "situation".
I started playing videogames when I was 5 years old (my parents decided to buy me a computer instead of toys, I'm talking about 1995) and I spent practically all my childhood in a balance between playing outside with my friends and playing videogames. I do not remember any excesses during my childhood, although I thought about them a lot.
When I was 16, my parents sent me to a flat where I lived on my own during the week (my parents came on weekends to buy groceries and spend time with me) and during that period my parents almost divorced, I was very stressed about it and started playing Lineage 2 (a MMORPG), and this is the very first time I became addicted to videogames. I played for as many hours as I could (6-7 every day, since I lived "alone) and I almost didn't make it to university due to that.
I sort of regained control (sort of) and started university, where I hit rock bottom. I was a good for nothing, skipped almost all classes, but then I met my Sentimental Other, with whom I connected. I hurt her during the first years because at the moment I was playing World Of Warcraft and I often neglected her, until she stood up and told me to choose between video games or her.
Realising I had problems, I obviously chose her, deleted my WoW account and never played it anymore, and we went to live together shortly after. The problem was that I only substituted WoW for other games (HoN, which was a MOBA, then PS3, then Warframe, then PAYDAY 2...) and I still neglected her. Gaming was so embedded in me I often didn't realise that I HAD TO play every day for as much free time as I could.
Long story short, with the help of my SO I gradually reduced and reduced my gaming time (it was difficult for me and for her, I lied to her on many ocasions on gaming and I'm not proud about it) and I finally managed to grasp the complexity of my problem last august, when she found out that I tried to install a browser game at my office's computer (google chrome is synced). She talked to me (in a very supportive and helping way) and for the first time in my life I started NOT TO play video games.
I have spent a very nice and peaceful year and I am in love with my SO, but I am facing a difficult situation now. Due to my behaviour in the past (I had an attitude problem / addiction with videogames and I would lie about them in order to play more hours) my SO is very suspicious whenever an add pops up or I'm watching anything that resembles a videogame. I have comepletely stopped playing games, watching youtube streams, reading news, etc. Yet she cannot stop being suspicious and she dreads that once I start playing video games again I will revert to my older self.
I do not crave gaming (all my consoles are stored and haven't accessed my steam account since last august) and I had already decided that I would never touch online games again. I have a job and spend quality time with her, I have regained many of my old hobbies but I feel like I still like video games, and the idea of playing offline, pausable video games (such as skyrim, fallout or grand turismo 6) has often crossed my mind.
TL;DR On the one hand, she is edgy whenever video games are mentioned, she has always trusted me and believed in me and she never left my side, I want her to be happy. On the other hand she doesn't want me to play video games and at the same time she doesn't want me to sell my collection (which to be honest would break my heart). I am also afraid to revert to my old self, and after a year w/o gaming I am at a crossroad. What can I do?