Hi, I had been cleaned for about 2 months thanks to my new antidepressant. It helps me with self-controling more than the drug I used to take. The previous drug gave me strong gravitating to play game and I can do nothing about it. My addicting brain had been telling me for 2 months that " Playing game is okay, you can control it and it's the best way to help your depression! " I have endured this urge for 2 months and yesterday I decided to give a try once again, I started playing LoL again for few days but for only 2-3 hours a day(Normally 8 hours+). I said to myself " If it makes my head mess up while I want to do something productive, I will end this" I could monitor my playing time around 2-3 hours a day but since I allowed myself to game, my mind only focused on playing game. It's like I have a really big dam(my decision not to game) with a lot of water(urge to play game) , allowing myself to game is like removing the dam immediately and let the current hit my mind. Eventhough you can withstand the current, it will not be the same as you have water kept safely in the dam(I feel agitated mostly when I'm studying because I want to finish studying and get to play game, I lost my passion to study) . It's a metaphor to my gaming. I learned that eventhough you can control your gaming but your mind will not be the same, it will be always hungry to play games and there is no freedom in my mind it's like I'm in the prison of craving .It left me only 2 options; 1. playing games as much as I want and let the game slowly take control over me or 2. Nip in the bud, don't play game at all. Kill it before it lays eggs!! So I have decided to get back on my track and taking this therapy more seriously. No plan to game today !!!
Do you guys have anything in common ? Thanks for reading : )
P.s. Sorry for my confusing English : )
Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"