Trying to control my gaming behavior

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Last seen: 8 years 4 months ago
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Joined: 07/10/2015 - 12:32pm
Trying to control my gaming behavior

Hi, I had been cleaned for about 2 months thanks to my new antidepressant. It helps me with self-controling more than the drug I used to take. The previous drug gave me strong gravitating to play game and I can do nothing about it. My addicting brain had been telling me for 2 months that " Playing game is okay, you can control it and it's the best way to help your depression! " I have endured this urge for 2 months and yesterday I decided to give a try once again, I started playing LoL again for few days but for only 2-3 hours a day(Normally 8 hours+). I said to myself " If it makes my head mess up while I want to do something productive, I will end this" I could monitor my playing time around 2-3 hours a day but since I allowed myself to game, my mind only focused on playing game. It's like I have a really big dam(my decision not to game)  with a lot of water(urge to play game) , allowing myself to game is like removing the dam immediately and let the current hit my mind. Eventhough you can withstand the current, it will not be the same as you have water kept safely in the dam(I feel agitated mostly when I'm studying because I want to finish studying and get to play game, I lost my passion to study) . It's a metaphor to my gaming. I learned that eventhough you can control your gaming but your mind will not be the same, it will be always hungry to play games and there is no freedom in my mind it's like I'm in the prison of craving .It left me only 2 options; 1. playing games as much as I want and let the game slowly take control over me or 2. Nip in the bud, don't play game at all. Kill it before it lays eggs!! So I have decided to get back on my track and taking this therapy more seriously. No plan to game today !!!

Do you guys have anything in common ? Thanks for reading : )

P.s. Sorry for my confusing English : )


Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

Last seen: 6 months 4 weeks ago
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Joined: 06/04/2015 - 3:09pm


It left me only 2 options; 1. playing games as much as I want and let the game slowly take control over me or 2. Nip in the bud, don't play game at all. Kill it before it lays eggs!!

ya I hear you, when I play even one game I'm horrible at tearing myself away from it.  The only times my life has got noticably better was when I stopped trying to control it and just didn't game at all.

Check out the meetings.  The Wed 3PM meeting is going to happen this week and the 10PM meetings always have people.

Silvertabby's picture
Last seen: 1 year 3 months ago
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Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
I like your analogy of the

I like your analogy of the dam and waterfall.  I can so relate.  Once I start gaming, it's all I can think about, too.  And then I don't want to quit.  So I don't start.  Sometimes I have to fight cravings to start, but I find that meetings and talking to other addicts help a lot with that.  


Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

Last seen: 2 years 6 months ago
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Joined: 08/04/2013 - 2:56pm
Oh yeah. lol I have tried

Oh yeah. lol I have tried many many times to "control" my game play. I quit playing for a full 3 months and was feeling real good. But because I was feeling good I figured I could handle a set amount of game time. I'll be fine! I can do this! So my  1 hour turned into 2 hours then 3 and then soon I wasn't caring how much i played. I was telling myself it's fine I'm not hurting no one playing my game. But in the back ground my daughter was having problems and I was so absorbed back into my gaming mind set I didn't realize it. That 3 months happened 3 years ago. I have been struggling with gaming since then. But I myself quit gaming again. Day 2 today. So yeah stay away from games. We can't control the playing no matter how well our brain talks to us. Lol it tells lies. 

Last seen: 6 years 7 months ago
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Joined: 09/02/2014 - 6:27am
The moment i start playing a

The moment i start playing a game, my mind reset to its obsessive behaviour. I could play for just 2 hours a day but i stop being creative and just do my duties as a machine. My feelings towards others disappear and start to lose control of everything. 

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

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