The root of video game addiction is insecurity!

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Thracius
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The root of video game addiction is insecurity!

Check it out, this is a big thing. I've found this book:

http://www.self-coaching.net/The%20Power%20of%20Self-Coaching%20Overview...

It tells you how worry and insecurity can run/ruin your life and why you shouldn't let fear rule over you!

What am I talking about?

There are two types of thinking, there's healthy thinking, which is more responsive and reactive, taking care of things as they arise, this is also known as living in the present (though it's more complex than that).

The other kind of thinking is reflexive thinking, which is insecurity-driven, habit thinking. Mark Twain said "smoking is the easiest habit in the world to break, I've done it thousands of times".

This unhealthy kind of thinking draws your attention to fiction, trying to predict how things will come out, which creates pain that video games relieve, or at least appear to, while healthy thinking, being in the moment, not in your head, draws your attention to fact.

The opposite of worrying is risking it. Like risking taking an exam, not knowing how it's going to turn out.

The basic idea for kicking your gaming habit is to stop trying to control life, instead, live it!

Remember, the problem is control and habits associated with it. Games just insulate you from your problems and worrying about them don't help!

I hope this post makes at least some sense, I have a tendency to get carried away by enthusiasm xD

If you play video games, turn them off once in a while and rejoin life. Some of us here like you, don't ask me why.

J. DOe
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Thracius, thank you for the

Thracius, thank you for the link to that book. I have some other books still waiting to be read first but, when I finish them, I will then consider getting a copy of this one.

I believe that fear is the most significant underlying factor in my video game addiction problem in that I would rather try to escape from whatever it is that I don't want to face rather than just deal with it. However, I don't believe that my problem is quite as simple as that as there are also other factors involved (e.g., my strong math/analytical abilities, unresolved childhood issues, etc.). Also, from reading many thousands of posts here over the last several years, that is likewise true for most other members. For example, for many of them, they also find the social aspects of the games very enticing. In addition, the variable reward ratios such as that used in gambling (e.g., see Reply #2 by Inspire in Introduction, have a 15 year old, loves these games) helps to keep many people playing. Nonetheless, I believe that fears in one form or another (e.g., worry and insecurity as you mention in your post) are significant base factors in most people's addiction problems in general, including video game addiction of course.

- John O.

[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)

dirk777
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I have a friend and she says

I have a friend and she says the root of addiction is due to lack of love when she was growing up. Personally, I think sadness is the root and everything else stems from that. Not that it really matters. Self knowledge is great and even exciting, let me know if it keeps you game free, as it never did for me.

No, World of Tanks and Second Life, I will not play you or your brethren today. At least I hope not. one day at a tiiiiiiime. Last day I gamed is now 13 May 2012.

dark (not verified)
Hi, i do not find analyzing

Hi, i do not find analyzing why i game very productive. I am an addict. I have an addictive personality which makes me easily addictive to all kinds of things including games. Could be in my genes, but i am not sure. It is what it is. First i have to stop gaming. I do this by admitting i am an addict and have no power over gaming. Then i begin to fix the damage i have done, and begin a programme of rigorous honesty and begin to address my defects of character. Once that process is started i help other gaming addicts to recover because this helps remind me what i am and wher i can go back to if i start gaming again. Btw this is all described in the 12 steps found elsewhere on this site. - dark

McPhee
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Thracius: Any time someone

Thracius: Any time someone suggests that it might be useful to look into reasons for gaming, it generates a response from those who feel it's a mistake or at least very risky to try to understand the problem rather than just accept that you are powerless over it, etc and otherwise follow the 12 steps. I believe this reaction stems from some statements in the Big Book and elsewhere along the lines of trying to understand an addiction to alcohol didn't cure it. I'm not sure about that and it's probably not important. I'm telling you this so you won't think it's something special about what you wrote concerning your curiosity and concern about the root of video game addiction that causes other posters to warn you that you may be going down the wrong path. Any time someone suggests it might be helpful to look into why they game, it gets a similar response. Who knows? Maybe they're right. McPhee

dark (not verified)
hi i qualify my above

hi i qualify my above statement by saying this worked for me, not that i am right. But i personally spent quite some time contemplating the cause of my addiction. Contemplation did not work - action did. - dark

DelphiQueen
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I know I have an addictive

I know I have an addictive personality and I'm obsessive/compulsive too. The reason I got so caught up in Second Life, was because at the time I discovered it, my real life sucked. I had just lost my job, living in a town that I hated, and my relationship with my family was already suffering.

To me, Second Life was an escape from all that. I created a voluptous avatar with a face and curves I'll never possess, exploring this incredibly beautiful virtual world where she couldn't get hurt or killed, and having all sorts of wonderful romantic adventures. The problem with this fantasy was I spent more and more time in it, then I did taking care of the problems I had irl.

Freedomfighter
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I agree: Online Video games

I agree:

Online Video games in particular become a way of our personal expression of what we wish we were like in real life; there is no real risk in stepping out, in trying something new, we have a new self confidence. That's the danger in these games, and its an impulse to abandon your real life for a new life that fits in with your fantasy or expectation of yourself.

I was sucked into Wow for nearly three years and while I'm not entirely sure if I was a full-on addict, but I knew my behavior and playtimes were interferring with my life, family and fiance. I was angry when I missed something in-game, secretive about when and how much I had played, and prioritized it above anything else I had going on. I idealized people who could raid for 6 days in a row and get worldfirst achievments.

I know that maybe its pointless to discuss why addiction develops, but I think its safe to say that we all should recognize our potential here in the real world, and that a computer generated realm can never replace what we have here, in spite of bad home life, circumstances, etc.

If our problem is self-worth and personal drive, we must recognize that and work on ourselves, not our avatars. At the end of the day, we are all unique and priceless, even if it doesn't look that way! I'm glad I'm free of the obligations to a virtual world, because now I can focus on my band, church, school, my family, and anything else I feel like. But I had to realize the impact of gaming on my life and the reasons I became so mesmerized.

Anyhow, wall-of-text.

I'm probably preaching to the choir with this too, but any discussion related to gaming, as long as it helps you to overcome addiction.

McPhee
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One of the most puzzling

One of the most puzzling aspects of the 12-step approach is the widespread belief among practitioners that it is at best useless to try to understand why people compulsively engage in maladaptive behaviors. If I had to guess, I would say it's tied in to the belief-based underpinnings of 12-step programs. Believing and inquiring have a long history of not gettling along. Personally, I am far more inclined to ask questions about why and how and so forth than to take anything at all purely on faith. I'm still able to get a great deal of benefit from participating in online addiction-battling communities, including those based on the steps, although I don't and don't plan to work any steps whatsoever. I try to be open-minded. McPhee

BigH501
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  One of the most puzzling

One of the most puzzling aspects of the 12-step approach is the widespread belief among practitioners that it is at best useless to try to understand why people compulsively engage in maladaptive behaviors.

I am just guessing since I don't know the answer for sure myself, but I believe the reason to be, that among addicts the searching for the "why" can and often does become a never ending search that the pursuit of which, will keep you from actually stopping the behavior you are trying to stop in the first place.

In other words, just another way of searching for something to blame rather than fix the problem.

Just my two cents...

" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"

dirk777
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Refusing to do the steps and

Refusing to do the steps and then saying one is open minded is an interesting example of openmindedness in my opinion. I don't know about ohter people here but I take all kinds of things on faith. For example, that I will wake up tomorrow. I have no proof that I will, other than I have for years. That seems like pretty weak proof to me. I believe that when I get on a plane it will not fall out of the sky, again I have no proof other than belief. I believe what scientists tell me about electricity and how it works, personally, I cannot prove what they say, but I choose to believe their words. In my opinion that is basic faith. I believe a person will keep their word, not because I can prove he will, but I simply choose to believe them. So I have faith in people, machines, science, etc etc, not because I can prove or disprove them, but because I simply choose to believe the words of others. Faith is simply belief or confidence in something I read and that makes sense to me. Of course saying such things is heresy.

No, World of Tanks and Second Life, I will not play you or your brethren today. At least I hope not. one day at a tiiiiiiime. Last day I gamed is now 13 May 2012.

lisefrac
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Thracius, you might be

Thracius, you might be interested in the work of Dr. Gabor Mate, who has written about the roots of addiction in his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. Insecurity is certainly in that mix. A lot of his patients - hardcore IV drug users in Vancouver - also have incredibly painful histories of abuse and alienation (many of his patients are First Nations people - what we would call Native Americans here in the U.S.)

As for why the "why ask why?" approach is so popular around here... I dunno. I don't really think it's tied up in the Big Book, although there is the idea of self-knowledge not being enough to cure addiction. I guess after a while I got sick of asking the question. Realizing that the extreme isolation in which I grew up was probably a contributing factor to my addictive personaltiy is important, but it doesn't suggest a way to change that behavior. After a certain point self-acceptance is the better part of valor, I guess.

Metal_Golem
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fear of failure?that seems

fear of failure?that seems appropriate to me.

Thracius
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I'm pleased that you all

I'm pleased that you all understood what I meant, this isn't exactly my most thought-out post

I should really pool all I've learned about gaming addiction in these past years and make a nice big file out of it, maybe later when rl stuff is done

If you play video games, turn them off once in a while and rejoin life. Some of us here like you, don't ask me why.

Mak
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lisefrac wrote: Thracius,
lisefrac wrote:

Thracius, you might be interested in the work of Dr. Gabor Mate, who has written about the roots of addiction in his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. Insecurity is certainly in that mix. A lot of his patients - hardcore IV drug users in Vancouver - also have incredibly painful histories of abuse and alienation (many of his patients are First Nations people - what we would call Native Americans here in the U.S.)

I'm currently reading this myself.

I'm new to OLGA and haven't started any 12-step stuff in earnest, although I'm open to doing so. For me, figuring out the "why" behind patterns of addictive behaviour in my past seems crucial for the long term -- not because I'm convinced that knowing why will lead to a miracle cure or anything, but just to gain some perspective and understanding, and perhaps also contribute to preventing relapses, which can take surprising forms.

Insecurity, the topic of this thread, is certainly in the mix for me. Some of the professional help I've received has pointed me toward methods of "untwisting" the thoughts that produce insecurity and negativity -- the moods that trigger the reflex to escape through gaming.

I'm not too far along with this. I'll let you know more about how it goes.

Peace,

Mak

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