&: WHAT WORKS FOR YOU???

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MAGZ
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Well, it has been about 4

Well, it has been about 4 months since I made a post. Since then, my husband and I have both continued in our own cycles of addictive behavior--he with gaming, me with him. What is finally helping me is to acknowledge that I am, what the title of the book "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood says I am--a woman "obsessing about a man and calling that obsession love, allowing it to control [my] emotions and much of [my] behavior, realizing that it negatively influences [my] health and well-being, and yet finding [myself] unable to let go" (p. 5). By acknowledging my helplessness before this reality, I am working on taking care of me and only me. This means refusing to "help" as helping is really a means of controlling the very things which I feel are threatening to my own dysfunctional means of defense. I am learning to focus on ME, to tell myself, "It's not my place" or "It's none of my business" when I try to take on the helping role with others. By "helping" others, I have avoided helping myself for a long, long time. The scary thing about looking back at my relationship with my husband is that I knew who/what he was from almost the first time I met him. I felt uneasy over countless things he said or did before we got married but managed to justify them away. What is alarming is not that he is the way that he is, but that I never allowed myself to feel the weight of those things, that it never caused me to look at myself and do what was best for ME. In the end, I have discovered that I am equally as sick as my husband, and that it is not my job to help him but rather to help myself.

MAGZ
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I took the Myers-Briggs. 

I took the Myers-Briggs. Then, I used it to help me identify areas of greatest interest to me. I am now studying chemistry, psychological schemas, and reading the book "Codependent No More." As an introvert, I set aside most of the time after my daughter goes to bed to the activities that energize and build me up--reading, journaling, listening to music, and messaging/calling friends and family. My life feels a lot more fulfilling and hopeful than it has in a long time. As a sidenote, my husband quit raiding a month ago and I hardly noticed because I haven't been scrutinizing his behavior as much. For his part, he has become much more engaged in the world around him--he's pursuing a Master degree, mentoring a fellow teacher at school, singing and leading with the worship band at church, and making weekly commitments to his small group.

Djinn
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Hey Guys, Its been a while

Hey Guys,

Its been a while since I last checked in, and I haven't poseted in a while. I just felt like I needed to get my feelings out in words. On Nov. 9 I became 3 full months clean of any video gaming, and the impact on my life has been truly incredible. I couldn't ask for any better of a life, my grades are rising, I'm playing baseball to my limits and out-performing not only myself but everyone around me. The major league draft is coming up this June and I'm getting excited again, the opportunity to live out my dreams will be tested this coming spring, and this time I'll be ready.

I have found a supporter, a lover and a soon to be wife (in due time). Although she knows it, she does not know when. She has really taken care of me through these past few months and helped keep me on the straight-and-narrow. Someone who I can confide in and tell her if I'm struggling that day or not.

I just want those of you that read this, who are struggling, to know that you life will exponentially get better once you get away. But you won't see your present for what it is until you can see it as your past. Because you cannot see how it is affecting your life presently because you know nothing else, its only when you give yourself the space to step back and really see the progress you've made will you truly understand the effects and benefits you will recieve from giving it up. Don't get me wrong, the withdrawals still haunt me and if feel they always will. But I know that no matter what I am always in control now, and I know the benefits of not playing out-weigh the enjoyment of this ever so elusive vice.

Just remember this when you are struggling.

If its worth having, it isnt easy to obtain.

"A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain." - Anonymous

Alyberry
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Joined: 06/11/2014 - 4:04pm
Hi! I wanted to post what is

Hi! I wanted to post what is working for me. I'm 6 weeks into recovery and I've done a couple things not mentioned.

First- My husband and I packed up ALL our video gaming things into a box: Wii, ps3, computer games, ipads, etc. We gave this box to my mom for safe keeping where she will store it for us. Getting all the stimuli out of the house has been a godsend for me! I agreed to go one year without gaming, but I already realize I may never want that box back!

Second- I'm a visual person so I bought a calendar and have been X'ing out every day as it passes as a reminder of how long I've gone without gaming. As I'm a visual person, this helps me see my progress everyday when I wake up! I also made myself little "awards" for milestones achieved by not gaming. I hang these next to the calendar. For instance, "One Week! as of December 25th 2014." and "One Month! as of January 15th 2015." Also every milestone I achieve, I treat myself to a massage, or an amazing chocolate cupcake. Little rewards make me feel great about myself!

These are a couple of things that work for me!

Alyssa

Saveme
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Joined: 08/10/2015 - 11:48am
What Has Worked For Me

What I did to remove my self from gaming is by telling myself I will not game today. That was my goal, no matter how much my sister asked me to video games today, tomorrow, or at all. 

I, then, solved and put together some puzzles. It was very entertaining and time consuming, which is a good thing to pass time beside playing games. Other than games, I continue to visit this website and engaged in some group activities as well as changing some bad habits. Some bad habits I changed were not being on my phone while eating, stop holding up on my family for 30-60 minutes, and helping my family when I can. 

This has changed my life and I have yet to still break free from my addiction. I'm be on to my next mission to limit my YouTube usage. Wish me luck. ;)

SvetLight
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Joined: 09/14/2015 - 3:25pm
Stop Playing

After being a hard Gamer for several years I was desperate to stop to save my marriage I had tried many many times but could not. In desperation I purchased Overcome Addictions from  late November 2006. I can not believe how after two gyud session with Nayada Dar and I have not stop to play video games, I just stop need to play, my wife is overjoyed and says she has got her husband back (me).

I used to start playing at about 11 am each day and couldn’t stop and be very verbally abusive to my wife, and have lost many friends by verbally abusing those as well, many many thanks for the Nayada Dar. Today 14th September is the 14 day I have not wanted to play a  it no longer is a need, thanks again to Nayada. If my story will help others then please use them in any way you choose.

SvetLight

tarakline65
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Joined: 12/02/2020 - 6:30am
I signed up to this site

I signed up to this site because i want to shear with you

i love my family

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