Egoism

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Patria
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Egoism

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Egoism

From "Medicine Looks at Alcoholics Anonymous":

"The fact of hitting bottom to produce a surrender which cut the ego to size was evident fairly soon. In time two additional facts manifested themselves. The first was that a reduced ego has marvelous recuperative powers. The second was that surrender is an essential disciplinary function and experience.

"It is common knowledge that a return of the full-fledged ego can happen at any time. Years of sobriety are no insurance against its resurgence. No A.A., regardless of his veteran status, can ever relax his guard against the encroachments of a reviving ego. Recently one A.A., writing to another, reported that he was suffering, he feared, from 'halo-tosis,' a reference to the smugness and self-complacency which so easily can creep into the individual with years of sobriety behind him. Dr. Harry Tiebout, M.D."

2001 AAWS, Inc.; Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, pg. 249

Patria
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Last seen: 1 year 18 hours ago
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Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
When I joined AA in 1985, I

When I joined AA in 1985, I learned a lot of things, especially that I had a major ego even though I was very shy, quiet and an introvert.

18 years later, going to meetings, having a sponsor, being a sponsor, etc. I got caught in gaming addiction, and the ego came back.

I gradually stopped going to AA meetings (couldn't fit one in with my important raiding schedule), my sponsor passed away and didn't get another one, and even though I didn't drink, I got back into the "isms" of addiction.

Ego came back in force. In manifested itself in gaming. I had to be the best gamer around. It was very important to me to win with and against all these young players. I was out to prove that age had nothing to do with competition. (Alas! age has a lot to do with competition!). However, even though I didn't end up to be the best (reflexes weren't as quick no matter how many gaming keyboards, mouses, and addons I used) I thought I could easily fit into the "great support group." I got my ego strokes from doing all the tasks the guild needed to complete it mission. I spent hours farming, herbing, making skill-enhancement potions, researching gaming tactics, spreadsheets, guild business meetings, officership, etc. I spent hours and hours (a lot more than a second job would ask of me) and spent every waking minute fine-tuning it all.

In the meantime my house looked like junk heap. The cat box hadn't been changed for a month; husband was disgusted. My job was noticing how little I put into the job and how much I worked at gaming; I'd arrive after a marathon weekend of gaming looking as if I'd had a 3-day drunk.

Ego was back!

So once I joined OLGA, I knew what to do, get to meetings, follow the steps, get a sponsor and be of service. Is my ego in check now? not as it once had been in my golden years of AA, but a lot better than two years ago.

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