Learning to focus on what is right

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Allyson2213
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Learning to focus on what is right

Step Ten says: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." It does not suggest that we ignore what is right in our life. It says we continue to take a personal inventory and keep a focus on ourselves.

When we take an inventory, we will want to look for many things. We can search out feelings that need our attention. We can look for low self-esteem creeping back in. We can look for old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. We can look for mistakes that need correcting.

But a critical part of our inventory can focus on what we're doing right and on all that is good around us.

Part of our codependency is an obsessive focus on what's wrong and what we might be doing wrong - real or imagined. In recovery we're learning to focus on what's right.

Look fearlessly, with a loving, positive eye. What did you do right today? Did you behave differently today than you would have a year ago? Did you reach out to someone and allow yourself to be vulnerable? You can compliment yourself for that.

Did you have a bad day but dealt effectively with it? Did you practice gratitude or acceptance? Did you take a risk, own your power, or set a boundary? Did you take responsibility for yourself in a way that you might not have before?

Did you take time for prayer or meditation? Did you trust God? Did you let someone do something for you?

Even on our worst days, we can find one thing we did right. We can find something to feel hopeful about. We can find something to look forward to. We can focus realistically on visions of what can be.

Higher Power, help me let go of my need to stay immersed in negativity. I can change the energy in my environment and myself from negative to positive. I will affirm the good until it sinks in and feels real. I will also strive to find one quality that I like about someone else who's important to me, and I will take the risk of telling him or her that.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie (c)1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

"Take what you need and leave the rest." I got nothing but moments to live.

Gettingalife
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This is SO important!! Thank

This is SO important!! Thank you for posting it, V! Choosing to look for and see what is right with ourselves and our world can become a habit, too. That's living in the solution. :)

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

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Thank you to both of you!

Thank you to both of you! While I'm not even near step 10, I love what it represents. And I love the saying GaL...living in the solution! That should be a slogan. It's awesome!

Gettingalife
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I kept looking for what was

I kept looking for what was wrong long enough that I found what was wrong was my chronic looking for what was wrong. :)

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

Patria
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Gettingalife wrote: I kept
Gettingalife wrote:

I kept looking for what was wrong long enough that I found what was wrong was my chronic looking for what was wrong. :)

Yes and Yes for me too.

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Gettingalife wrote: I kept
Gettingalife wrote:

I kept looking for what was wrong long enough that I found what was wrong was my chronic looking for what was wrong. :)

Me too! I almost got dizzy reading it though, lol.

Allyson2213
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Same here, to the point that

Same here, to the point that is very hard to see the things I am doing right. For a long time I didn't give any value to my sobriety until recently that I've been having a major struggle. Here I am sober :) and I am proud of that. I am not chosing games to scape again from my real unperfect & chaotic life.

"Take what you need and leave the rest." I got nothing but moments to live.

LearningSerenity
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GaL, that's it.  Spot on,

GaL, that's it. Spot on, that's it. I used to tell myself that I was just a realist, and then people started calling me cynical, and then I said that I was a pessimist (who was always being proved right or being pleasantly surprised), but cynical is a lot closer to the truth. I'm so used to finding something wrong with everything (including myself), that it's incredibly difficult to start finding something good with anything (including myself). I'm working on it...and that's good :D

When you're going through hell...keep going. --Winston Churchill There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still --Corrie ten Boom

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